Some of you may know that May is National Masturbation Month, and I thought I would have a little fun with this post. In honor of this month our poem today is dedicated to the deed of the month.
It’s always been a fascination
I’ve never lacked for motivation
Always finding the inspiration
A wonderful form of relaxation
Much more fun than meditation
Starting with some stimulation
You get that feeling of elation
As it begins its elongation
Followed by the levitation.
Then waiting in anticipation
Of enjoying that final sensation
As I try to reach my destination
It then all turns to serious frustration
And a decision is taken for termination
As you get that realization
That there will be no ejaculation
And you’re in serious danger of dehydration.
I hope you all have plenty of solitary fun this month.
By the way, for those of you who love poetry, do any of you guys know of any poems about masturbation. I know that there are some suggestions that “Birches” by Robert Frost is about masturbation, but I’ve never bought into that way of thought. Though not poetry, I do remember by English 102 professor (a very sweet former kindergarten teacher) whispering to us in class (in that prim and proper way that older southern women can be) that the university writing center would explain to us that "The Rocking-Horse Winner," a short story by D. H. Lawrence, is all about masturbation, but she believed that it was about obsession.