Saturday, November 5, 2011
Moment of Zen: Looking...
I have to admit that as I am writing this, I am not really in a mood for a Moment of Zen. My grandfather, who has been in and out of the hospital and nursing home for over a month now, is not expected to live for more than a few more days. I watched my other grandfather suffer for over a year with cancer as he wasted away and died. My late grandfather and my grandfather in the hospital have both suffered greatly in their last few days. Needless to say, I am finding it hard to find a Moment of Zen right now. The only comfort I can take in the moment is that his suffering will mostly likely be over soon, and he will be in a better place.
I chose the picture above because the model is deep in thought, whether he is looking backward or forward, I do not know. I can take some comfort in looking back and remembering my grandfather for who he was before the dementia set in. He's always had a hearing problem, though 90 percent of it was mostly likely spending years tuning out my grandmother, who is a wonderful woman herself (don't get me wrong), but when my grandfather wanted to hear something, he heard it just fine, when he didn't, well he didn't hear a thing. Often it was the times when my grandmother either got off on one of her tangents or was fussing about something, that his hearing seemed to be the worse. When you love someone, I guess, you have to learn to love them no matter what, and sometime it takes a little "hearing problem" to make things better.