Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Attractions


Everywhere you look, people want to use labels: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight.  Even within the gay community, we are put into types: bears, twinks, muscle daddies, leather men, queens, and the list goes on and on.  The types of gay men in existence are wide and varied, and you can find any number of lists of gay male types.  We are even expected to choose a "type," i.e. a type of guy that we are attracted to. I've often wondered what my type of guy is.  Most of my friends would say tall and skinny, but that's not always the case.

The fact is, the type of men I find most attractive goes in cycles.  Sometimes (and truthfully most of the time), I go for the smooth and muscular A&F type of guy, usually one that has a moderate amount of body hair and not totally smooth. The guy usually also has great hair. (I've never figured out my fascination with hair, but it's definitely a factor when I look at a guy.  Maybe it's because I've never had "great" hair, and I am now losing what I have.)  Think Charlie White, the Olympic ice dancer, although his chest might be a tad bit too hairy, but he has best hair.  Then again, there are times when I'm turned on by a really masculine, hairy, muscular guy.  Then at other times, I like the more pretty, slim, and somewhat effeminate guy (though I've always found the word effeminate to be offensive, but I can't think of another word to use).  Really, all of it is according to my mood at the moment.

Over the years, Ive done a fair amount of thinking about the types of men I am attracted to.  Most often, I conclude that I don't have a "type."  But I've always wondered why the type of men that I find attractive is different from time to time.   When I say my tastes change it's not like it happens from one minute to the next, I may find a particular type of man attractive for a week or more, before settling on another.  I almost always find the cute A&F types attractive no matter what, especially, if its a particular person I have a crush on.  And just a side note, baseball players always seem to get my blood flowing, but as I said that's just a side note. However, I always come back to the same question: what causes my attraction to certain types to change every so often?

I've always kind of concluded that it is the testosterone levels in my body.  Science has proven that men have hormonal cycles just like women.  Some studies say that it is a roughly 90 day cycle.  Others say that it is a 20 minute cycle, a 24 hour cycle, a seasonal cycle, or even a lifetime cycle.  The basic consensus though is that men do have daily and seasonal cycles.  The Daily cycle begins with high levels of testosterone in the morning, usually causing morning erections, and then as the day goes on, the testosterone levels drop throughout the day.  Men’s hormones cycle also happen throughout the year. In studies conducted in the United States, France, and Australia, it was found that men secrete their highest levels of sex hormones in October and their lowest levels in April. There was a 16% increase in testosterone levels from April to October and a 22% decline from October to April. Interestingly, although Australia, for example, is in its springtime when France and the United States are in their autumn, men in all three parts of the world showed a similar pattern of peaks in October and valleys in April.

I should keep a diary of my moods and changing "types" over a period of time and see if it does correspond with any known hormonal cycle, but truthfully, I'm just not organized enough to do that.  However, I have always believed that most likely when I find less masculine guys attractive, then my guess would be that my testosterone level is high, and I want to be more aggressive; whereas, when my testosterone cycle is on a down swing, I am more attracted to very masculine men.  This is just a theory of mine, and a way of me thinking out loud and sharing with my readers.

I am wondering though, do any of you have similar periods when the types of guys you are attracted to changes?  Do you always find the same type of guy attractive?  This is a bit of shallow post, because I am only basing attraction on looks, when I much prefer to get to know someone and find a connection that I am truly attractive to, regardless of looks.  So what do you guys think?  I'd really like to have some feedback and see what you think about this topic of "types."

7 comments:

Coop said...

The October/April thing makes perfect sense. I thought I went through a rut phase just like deer do. LOL

There's a difference between looking at pictures online and meeting a guy in the real world. There's a country somg where the love of the man's life is described as the opposite of the woman of his dreams. I think that's absolutely true in a lot of ways.

Unfortunately, "typing" of guys sometimes turns into something like a fetish or a parody. That's why I don't like porn and I can barely tolerate x-tube these days.
I know what I like when I see it and it's not usually the extremes. Even in the real world, I'll see a really skin guy and wonder how he can be hugged without breaking in half.

And when I see a big guy, I'm turned off. Some guys ARE naturally big in body... that's not what I'm talking about. A person carrying around so much extra weight (and embracing that as a lifestyle) is a turn-off. I'm the last person in the world to be a gym rat & I'm a member of the "I live to eat" club. But it's important that a man cares about his health enough to take care of himself.

Nor would I be comfortable dating a man who tries too hard to be one thing or another. Puberty and high school are over... praise be to God.

JiEL said...

I agree with Coop, and I'm not really into only one type of men.

Sometimes I'll be attracted to a man because the way he moves or his general look... Not looking for the «gorgeous» one but a man that is intelligent, well educated and that takes care of himself.

Surely not a «gym queen» because most of those ones are too «egocentric» to my point of view and often are looking for a «twin» bro...

A too fat man or a too «oldish« one isn't attracting em. I mean by «oldish» a man that acts and thinks as an old one...

As a high school teacher, I'm more used to younger and more progressive way of thinking..

If I think of my exes, they're no main quality that can relate them one to another..
But must say that being «normal straight» guys with good values in life may be their links...

Finally, my «type» is ALL types that just trigger a little vibrating cord of my heart that is undefinable...

Be yourself and honnest is a must.

(((( HUGS ))))

crotchdiver1 said...

Who would have thought there was a telepathic continuum from Alabama to North Carolina. Same thing I've been pondering, in fact I posted a rather shallow blog about the subject a few weeks back. I've been plotting a more in depth post slated sometime in the near future.

Yet...Altruistically rare is a male that I cannot find something attractive about. I don't "go" for one particular quality or attribute. I guess truth be told I'm not all that picky. Which sounds desperate yet I'm not. No drought in my life.

I don't think I have cycles. I have "pocket" turnons, shallow as they may be. Every guy I see I analyze anew.

You and my Greg have been "out" far many more years than I. After 12 years now, honesty?, Gay men confuse me - although I'm one. In fact the whole culture, the genre, escapes me.

Inexplicably I have an internal flaw for the need to neatly compartmentalize everything in life. It frustrates me when it cannot be done. Gay is one of those such realms.

I'm going to go back and review my shallow post, further eschew this post and I will come up with my own in-depth post on this subject soon.

Thank you my Muse.

Will said...

I don't have "a" type because there are several types of men I can be attracted to physically. I tend to be interested more by WHO he is than what he looks like.

There is, however one constant -- from about age 25 on, I was attracted to older guys, 30 to 50 and even older in some cases. These men were generally more intelligent and interesting, more confident, more sexually experienced than my contemporaries -- I thought they were the hottest guys out there and that proved to be true in most cases.

Now that I'm one of those older and (hopefully!) more intelligent, interesting, confident (and definitely much more sexually experienced) men, I enjoy guys of almost any age, body type, and find sex with them extremely pleasurable. Bottom line is, I just love men.

Gay Groom said...

Let's try this again (often have a problem leaving a comment on blogger)...

I don't have cycles in my attractions. I am always attracted to my husband (thank goodness!). I am also attracted to swarthy men - but it doesn't seem to change with the seasons!

Hope all is well! We should chat more!!

Jeffrey

silvereagle said...

Love to read all of the comments on this post. They reflect my views as well. I do enjoy my relationship with my 'younger man' and when we first met, his comments as to why he found me 'attractive' echoed those above....wow, never thought I would be a 'magnet' !!!

gerry said...

I've always been most active sexually in the early autumn and early spring. Never really consciously thought about it until I started to slow down in my mid '50s then it registered. Used to get off at least once daily either alone or with a partner. Not so much now.

There's no rhyme or reason to the men I've been with, and after sixty years there've been plenty. Right now the guys in my life range in age from 33 to 69... height is 5'5" to 6'1" (I'm 5'8")all are active, curious and constantly learning and trying new things.

I don't label people and don't ask them to label themselves. I do know that most are married as am I.