Today’s thing at work used to be called Staff-Inservice. It’s always been this awful day of programs and lectures that are meant to reward us. Most everyone hates it. They make you stay through the whole thing by giving out door prizes that you must be present to win. I have never won one. It always seems like the same people win the door prizes each year. This year as a way to make it sound more palpable they renamed it Staff Retreat. By definition a retreat is either “an act of moving back or withdrawing” or “a quiet or secluded place in which one can rest and relax.” This is neither. It’s just a day of boring crap. It’s going to be a long day.