Anxiety and depression are bad enough on their own, but stress makes everything feel so much worse. I truly love my job, but lately I dread going to work. My boss has created a hostile workplace. One moment she can seem nice, the next she reveals a total lack of emotional intelligence—no empathy, no compassion, no sympathy. Her passive-aggressive behavior is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. People have warned me before about writing this here, worrying that she might stumble across my blog. Honestly? At this point, I don’t fucking care. If she does, she’ll either delight in knowing she’s making my life miserable or maybe, just maybe, she’ll take a hard look at how she treats her employees.
I won’t go into details about the latest mess, but she’s currently refusing to make even the smallest accommodation for my back and leg pain until she has a note from my doctor—even though I’ve told her over and over that it has to go through HR. I have zero control over how quickly they do their jobs.
And if the back pain and migraines weren’t enough, I’ve now got a sore throat on top of it all. I have to drag myself in today because I’m working from home tomorrow (thank God!) and need to prepare for a class on Monday.
In the meantime, here’s Isabella—curled up, cozy, and oblivious to the world. Sometimes I wish I was a cat, able to just cuddle up with my human and sleep all day. Honestly, I’d even settle for just cuddling with another human right now.I won’t go into details about the latest mess, but she’s currently refusing to make even the smallest accommodation for my back and leg pain until she has a note from my doctor—even though I’ve told her over and over that it has to go through HR. I have zero control over how quickly they do their jobs.
And if the back pain and migraines weren’t enough, I’ve now got a sore throat on top of it all. I have to drag myself in today because I’m working from home tomorrow (thank God!) and need to prepare for a class on Monday.
Speaking from a leadership perspective, keep your business with HR. Document, document, document... Let HR do the heavy lifting. Communicate with HR through email and blind cc your private email. No phone calls. Summarize conversations in person with follow-up emails. As you are aware, HR is responsible for protecting the university. They will/might throw you under the bus to protect themselves, BUT you have your documentation. Also, communicate to your healthcare provider that HR is dragging its feet. I would communicate with your healthcare provider through their EMR. This way, there is documentation. Make sure all your bases are covered. Also, keep a running log of all her passive aggressiveness, microaggressions, and whatnot. Just smile and move on. And do not go toe-to-toe with her. You don't want to give her ammunition when shit hits the fan. What has always bothered me with managers like this is that they seem to think they are immune. Worse is that organizations keep rewarding this type of behaviour and are scratching their heads, wondering why their churn rate, turnover are over the industry standard. I am thinking long term. There may come a time when you may have to step out and take legal action. You want your case to stand on its own. Best to you!!
ReplyDeleteI just got off the phone with our HR director. She confirmed that I’m covered under FMLA, which gives me the protections I need. She asked whether I felt the environment was contentious, and I told her yes. I also explained that if the situation were reversed—if someone else needed help with something I could do—I’d step in without hesitation. I don’t mind being kind and accommodating as long as that kindness isn’t being abused. But if I feel I’m being taken advantage of, then I’ll seek help or guidance from the appropriate people.
DeleteAs a manager—and I’ve been in management before—I would never demand a formal list of accommodations before offering help to someone in need. If I saw that they genuinely needed assistance, I’d provide it. Only if I believed someone was abusing that kindness would I ask for documentation.
I hope your pain will lessen, that you will find help in the meantime and that your colleagues will be kinder to you .
ReplyDelete"A bad settlement is better than a good lawsuit" Honoré de Balzac .
Give Isabella a hug so she doesn't get sciatica at the same time as you!
José por desgracia he pasado por situaciones como la que describes y al final he tenido que recurrir a los tribunales. Según mi experiencia creo que el consejo que te está dando VRCooper es lo más inteligente: atesora documentación, evita las conversaciones telefónicas sobre el problema, nunca te enfrentes a tu jefa, evita las confrontaciones y si algo ataca a tus derechos o hay abusos, acude a un abogado especializado. Nunca pierdas tus derechos, pero evita las discusiones. José yo he tenido mucha suerte y gracias a un buen trabajo legal he conseguido una incapacidad precisamente alegando todo lo que mi jefa quería usar en mi contra debido a mis bajas médicas. Por desgracia veo que el trato al personal de las Universidades no sabe de aduanas... Mucho ánimo José y un gran abrazo.
ReplyDeleteÁngel
i’m Not there, but have been in your situation. Think in reverse. Does all the time you have to take off work cause her to be the way she is? You say she has a history of passive/aggressive behavior. Could your necessary absents from work be causing her to dim her attitude toward you.? Is she the same with other employees? Document, yes, your need for time off as well. Cover all bases and seek employment elsewhere. Will the stress continue there? It has a habit of following us because we create it by the way we react to situations. Are you eligible for stress leave? Be careful. She may be documenting as well.
ReplyDelete