Containment

We had an incident at school yesterday, but before I tell you about it, I want you to keep something in mind.  I teach at a rural school where the students are sheltered from the real world.  I wish they had more exposure to the real world: people of different races, LGBT people, etc.  However, they just aren't, and they often keep there parents' prejudices.  I'm not making excuses for them, and I don't allow slurs against anyone.  I try to open their world to more exposure, but I also have to stay in the closet for a number of reasons: job security, family issues, etc.

With that said, two boys discovered some pretty indisputable evidence (by accident) that another boy in their class, who they thought was gay, was actually gay.  They brought it to my attention almost immediately. I could tell immediately that they wanted to start the rumor mill going.  I told the kids to keep quiet about it and then at the end of class, after everyone was gone, I had a little talk with them.  They were afraid that I would be mad and yell at them, but I talked very calmly to them.  I tried to explain some of the feelings and problems the other kid was probably going through.  I also told them that they did not need to start spreading rumors.  Rumors would only lead to bullying and this kid does not need that, nor does any kid.  They, like so many straight people, do not understand homosexuality. So I explained some of the problems with depression and suicide many gay kids suffer with because of bullying and so forth.  I told them not to make a big deal out of it, keep things quiet, and let him figure things out on his own.  These are not the kind of guys to go up to him, tell him it's okay, and be supportive.  And let's face it, many of us have been in a similar situation and would have been mortified if we knew someone knew and it would cause even further damage.  By telling them to just forget it and drop it, they might just do so.

It also helped that they talked to one of the coaches about it, and he said almost the exact same thing, down to explaining about suicides and bullying.  We have four coaches and only two of which the kids would talk to about something like this.  They went to the good one, not the asshole who would have done the opposite of what the good coach and I did.

I don't know if I did the right thing or even the bravest thing with what I told the boys yesterday, but I could only think of what I would have wanted a teacher to do if I had been in the same situation: containment.