Shakespeare wrote, “For the apparel oft proclaims the man.” The quote is from a longer speech by Polonius in Act I, Scene 3, of Hamlet. Polonius’s son, Laertes, is about to depart for Paris, and Polonius has some dear parting words for his son. It's really just a lot of long-winded advice: listen more than you talk, don't borrow or lend money, don't be gaudily dressed, and be true to yourself. Shakespeare might have written the idea (apparel oft proclaims the man), but Mark Twain is credited with the much more familiar phrase. Twain wrote, "Clothes make a man.” Although, Twain added, “Naked people have little or no influence on society." For modern audiences, it's easy to forget about issues of class in Shakespeare's famous play. Yet Hamlet is very much concerned with what's appropriate for certain classes to do. Here, Polonius says that appearances count for a lot. It's how you can tell someone's rank and status, and that was important in Shakespeare's time.
Perceptions of clothing are actually more far reaching than you might think. Doctors, firefighters, and police officers all wear specific uniforms, so we know exactly who they are in a crowd. Kids with diabetes use medical bracelets to alert people. And a lot of people can find at least one team jersey in their closet to show off their team spirit. So, there you have it. We can tell someone's job, wealth, favorite team, and even sickness just by looking at him. It turns out clothes do make the man—and woman—even today. Clothes also have a psychological effect on us. It's been well-established—in the scientific literature and real life—that what we wear affects how others perceive us. Women who wear more masculine clothes to an interview (such as a dress suit) are more likely to be hired. People dressed conservatively are perceived as self-controlled and reliable, while those wearing more daring clothing are viewed as more attractive and individualistic. We've recognized these distinctions since childhood—we learn what's appropriate to wear to school, to interviews, to parties. Even those confined to uniform convey their own unique style in an attempt to change how they are perceived by others. There is a growing field in psychology known as "embodied cognition"—the idea that we think with not only our brains, but with our physical experiences. Including, it seems, the clothes we're wearing.
Museum receptions aside, I often dress in clothes that make me feel good. I don’t have a body that looks great in everything, but I wear what makes me feel confident and good. My personal rules for fashion extend to undergarments, shoes, and accessories. Most of the time, no one will ever see what underwear I have on, but they make me feel sexy, whether I actually look sexy in them or not. It’s how they make me feel that is important. The lawyer I used to work for told me that she always wore nice shoes when she’d be in court because women on a jury often noticed another woman’s shoes. That is probably sexist today, but when she went to law school in the 1970s, she was one of only two women in the University of Alabama Law School. She was used to being judged differently from male lawyers. So, I follow her advice and I like to wear a nice pair of shoes that will match my outfit. I don’t mind paying a little extra for a pair of shoes that look good, but they also have to be comfortable.
Maybe it’s shallow of me to care so much about my outward appearance, but I was always taught to take PRIDE in the way I look. Obviously, if I was very strict with myself about this, I would not have a weight problem, but that is a whole other issue. What do you think your sense of fashion says about you? Do you feel better wearing certain clothes? Do you put comfort ahead of fashion?
First impressions matter. How and what we wear goes a long way in framing how we consciously and subconciously make those initial impressions.
ReplyDeleteI once read that your fashion sense and even hair style was set by the time you are 30 for the rest of your life. Looking at the world, I find this to be true, especially for those who identify as men.
ReplyDeleteI love fashion. I enjoy looking good. You kept using the word comfortable. That stood out to me. No matter what you wear it has to FIT. IF it fits it WILL be comfortable. Let's start with the shoes. Know your brands. An expensive pair of shoes can be just as bad as a cheap pair. I always buy medium-priced shoes. I want them to fit well and last. I did splurge once on a $300. pair of shoes marked down to $200. I couldn't resist. But the shoe is comfortable and are lasting. One can always get new heels or soles if need be to extend the life of a shoe. But always start with quality regardless of the price. Pants should fit. A good tailor is your best friend. Trust me. I can't buy pants off the rack. I am over 6 feet tall and I like a long rise. I don't even know my waist size-probably at 34. I usually find pants-casual or dress-that I can alter. I need at least a 36-inch inseam and my tailor will take it from there. I like a long rise, not because of the size of my junk but because I don't like my stuff all smashed up in a ball. Your tailor can work wonders. The pant will be custom fit to you. It will be comfortable. And if is a good quilty pant, it will last you for years. Shirts are the same way. They make shirts now that a little more tailored. Try a slim cut or a regular one and have it fitted with darts. Try different brands. I am mainly talking about dress shirts. I work in healthcare management so putting my best forward is a must. Even when I was in the military I had my uniforms tailored to the inch of their lives. My dress-Class A-uniform had to be fitted BUT maintain the box look which made everyone look the same in formation. But my whites and such were a different story. I remember when BDUs came into a requirement. My Sargent told me that I could not alter them. They were designed to be loose. Find your true neck size. That is important. Get measured. You don't want it to be too loose or tight. Usually, a 5-10 pound gain or loss would require a new size. If it fits, it will be comfortable. I am a 16 with a 35-36 sleeve length and I love a spread collar. I don't like Geoffrey Bean's dress shirts. They are nice but they do not wash well. Be careful of casual clothes/shirts. Some are made to be loose so one may need a medium instead of a large or vice versa. Find out the cut of the shirt. Just remember expensive does not mean good and cheap, cheap is just crap...Find your balance.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your view on homosexuality and the Bible. I have a question for you, though. If we should al be our authentic selves, and that we are made perfectly by God in His image, then is the same true for pedophiles and serial killers? They believe that they were born that way, so should they be free to molest children and kill people? And still find grace in Christ? Also- if a transgendered person is born perfect, then why must he/she change their gender to be authentic? I am looking forward to your answers. God bless! By the way, I am a gay Christian.
ReplyDeleteDino77, first of all, pedophiles and serial killers are mentally ill. Mental illness is caused by many factors, one of the main ones that often pertains to pedophiles and serial killers is life experiences, such as stress or a history of abuse, especially if they happen in childhood. With this being the case, it is not the fault of God, but the fault of humanity. It is also highly offensive to use generalization comparing pedophiles and serial killers in juxtaposition to homosexuality or gender identification.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, as for finding grace in Christ, 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” No sin is too great for God to forgive—including those of pedophiles and serial killers. However, many do not show remorse, faith, or confession, and therefore they will not be forgiven. They must genuinely realize that they have done wrong and ask for God forgiveness and atone for their sins. If they do not do this, then how can they find grace in Christ? I know this is a difficult truth, but if we believe that God forgives when we ask Him to forgive us, then we must believe he forgives all sins, even the most heinous. God will be the ultimate judge of our faith and our sins.
Misgendering at birth is a human error. Gender is not determined by one’s sexual organs. Gender is defined as “either of the two sexes (male and female), especially when considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female.” Hermaphrodites are born with the primary sexual characteristics of both genders, and many cultures around the world have long recognized that a third gender existed beyond the simple dichotomy of male and female. Just because humans often identify the primary sexual characteristics as determining gender, it is not true.
Finally, Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Also, in Matthew 19:12, Jesus says, “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” In biblical times, sexuality and gender were not fully understood. The writers of the Bible had very limited understandings of biology, and even less so the language to define it. We must believe that God loves and accepts us the way we are. He will not reject us for the way we were born, because we are made in His image, as Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” We must believe that the mistakes that are seen are humanity’s mistakes, not God’s mistakes.
I hope that answers your questions, Dino77. I do not have all the answers, nor will I ever have all the answers while here on this Earth. I can only believe what my heart and faith tells me to believe.