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Sunday, March 6, 2022

Fears and Confidence

Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward.

—Hebrews 10:35

 

I have always lacked confidence in myself. Even when I knew I had the correct answer in class or a meeting, I’ve never been able to convince myself to have the confidence that I would give the correct answer. Most of my friends know that I can be a walking trivial pursuit; however, I often don’t have a lot of confidence in myself. I fear that if I let my head full of trivial trivia fly with all the minutia of facts swimming around in my head, people will think that I am boring, which I think most people I know probably secretly think I am. I don’t worry as much about this on my blog (that’s not to say that I don’t, because I do), but I know that my readers will either read it or just look at the pretty pics of hot guys.

 

A friend of mine described someone as “boring and sensitive,” which I said was how I think most guys would describe me, and I think they lose interest. I can have a conversation with a guy or go on a date with him, and once I get comfortable, I end up talking way too much and am seen as a bore. My friend said that I was not “boring and sensitive.” Yes, some people do find me interesting or at least intelligent, but it seems like most guys really aren’t looking for intelligence. They are looking for more brawn than brains.

 

My friend told me that I need to be more self-confident. It’s something with which I have always struggled to be. In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul wrote to Timothy saying, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Paul tells Timothy that he should not have fear but be confident in himself. In Joshua 1:9, God reveals to Joshua his purpose, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Hebrews 13:5-6 says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’” We are who we are, and while not everyone will like us for who we are, we still have to be true to ourselves and stop fearing what others will think of us.

 

If you are like me and often fear how others perceive you and lack confidence in yourself, we need to remember that God is there for us. If we allow Him to guide us, we will have all the confidence we need. Isaiah 41:10 tells us, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” God is there for us to make our lives better and easier to deal with love and attraction, among many other things in life. We should remember that He wants what is right for us. When it comes to love, the song from Snow White voices our hope that “Someday my prince will come,” and I hope that one day he will. Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.”

 

God is there to guide us; we only have to let Him. We have to trust in Him to know what is best for us, but we also must ask God for that guidance toward confidence. John writes in 1 John 5:14-15, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.” Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

 

I hope to one day find love. It has mostly eluded me so far in life, but I still hold out hope. In 1 John 4:18, John wrote, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” I have always gotten nervous talking to men. I’ve almost always been easily able to talk to women, but because I am not attracted to them in the same way I am in men, it doesn’t make me nervous like it does when I try to talk to men. It’s all about the fear and lack of confidence I have. There have been some men in my life that I could easily talk to. Some of those men I realized I never had a chance with, and thus the nervousness disappeared, but if I hope that I will have a chance of getting to know them better and that maybe it will become more, I shut down. I just can’t get comfortable. I think that fear has kept me from finding a lasting relationship. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us, “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

7 comments:

  1. If I am with a guy who has nothing btwn the ears I find that BORING AS HELL. I want a guy that knows how to carry on a conversation about things other than what is on the Check-Out Stand Magazine covers. I find you to be very sexy since you know how to discuss about your job and passions. Brawn is not all that if you R stupid as hell.

    Keep up the good work and trust in yourself. Your blog readers do

    Jon from UGA

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  2. Thanks, Jon. I’ve always found brains to be sexy. Brawn might be nice to look at, but if there is nothing beyond that, then there’s nothing to build on.

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  3. @Jon,

    I was with such a nice 34yo man from 2009 to 2012. He was a genious with a QI of 187 and did speak 5 languages, was a genious in computers, a concert pianist, could read 120 page in one hour, had a phenomenal memory, was a movie fan, was a mountain bike champion and a Te-quan-Do fighter too and more.
    He was ALL I was loking for in a «husband» and sex was also very HOT.

    BUT one thing made him to loose my love for him as he was a LIAR and did cheat on me with a 70yo man. I discovered many other lies frome him days before we separated as he was living with me since the first time we met.

    What I want to say is that BALANCE in a man's personnality is something very hard to find now a days. Mostly someone who is eager to have a faithful relationship and never go to see somewhere else while in a love relationship.

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  4. @Jon sometimes someone so smart thinks that others are dumb....

    Ángel

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  5. Joe, we don't know each other very well and we are too far away to be able to cultivate a good friendship more quickly, but with what I know about you and with what I read in your blog I have got an idea of you that I think is the closest to reality because I see that you write what you really feel and live with your daily life and I don't find what you say boring at all, on the contrary: every day I find in you something more interesting than what I had discovered yesterday.
    That you are sensitive? Who is not? Whoever says he is not sensitive, even if it is only from time to time, is either deluded or pretends to show himself as he really is not.
    When you are in your bed, at night, waiting for Morpheus' visit to deliver you in his arms, surely situations of the day come to your mind that have impressed you in some way... Isn't that sensitivity? Is it just a stomach ache? Let's not fool ourselves and let's not be afraid of being sensitive. If we were more sensitive there wouldn't be a war in Ukraine, there wouldn't be hunger in Africa, and we wouldn't be rude to that person next to you.... We would all be much kinder to others and more assertive with ourselves always in a positive way.
    Best regards
    Angel

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  6. Thank you for your kind words, Angel. That’s means a lot to me.

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  7. Thanks to you Joe!
    It's not just words

    Angel

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