Irritable 😠

I try to be a pleasant, congenial person with a smile on my face, even when I don’t feel it. Sometimes, though, I find it difficult to keep up an affable façade when I’m not really feeling it. Usually, the irritability I can’t hide is because of not feeling well. For the past week, my migraines have been a bit worse than usual. I’m not for sure if it’s the seemingly ever changing weather or wildfire smoke passing over Vermont. Since Sunday, our air quality has been worsening.

Then again, my irritability may be because I’m just fed up with hearing people complain. Some people are going to constantly complain and nothing will satisfy them. This is especially true when a person is a martyr narcissist, i.e., a person who constantly acts as if their every action is a personal sacrifice. People like this don’t want their complaints satisfied because they can’t keep receiving the sympathy they crave. Then, there are those people who are just miserable human beings who want others to suffer the way they do, even when they aren’t actually suffering.

Also, politics in the United States right now are fucking annoying, and if I watch even ten minutes of the news, I can’t get away from it fast enough. Why can’t politicians be positive in their campaigning instead of always negative? I think partly because anger drives people to vote, and the angrier a politician can make voters by denigrating their opponents the more likely they’ll get their votes. Too many Americans are voting out of hate and fear instead of voting for peace and hope.

It’s probably the combination of all three that have me so irritable today. Thank God, I’m working from home today and won’t have to deal with people. I’m not sure I could put a smile on my face today. Yesterday, I just buried my head in a project and tried to ignore everything else. I think I just need some alone time to recenter and reset.