Moment of Zen: Pietro Boselli

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday. Nearly 2000 years ago, Jesus was crucified. It was the darkest day for his followers. They did not understand that on the third day he would rise again and bring hope to the world. I wish people could actually see and understand the loving nature of Christ. He wanted us to live in a world without prejudices or greed, a world with hope and inspiration. I honestly think that Christ weeps at the site of the world today. I believe that Jesus is saddened by the state of what many call Christianity today. Today, it is a religion of prejudice, hatred, and greed, when it should be a religion of hope, faith, inspiration, and charity.

Remember that Good Friday is a day to contemplate the suffering that Jesus endured for our salvation.  John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life."

The Last Snow?

Last night, it was supposed to snow. We are getting close to the end of the snow season. I’ve been told we can get snow as late as May, but I think it’s winding down for the year. So one more night of snow, or at the very least ice, which is much more tricky. The news says that it will be a slick commute this morning. Luckily, I’m going in at 9 am, so maybe it won’t be as bad. I’m staying today until at least 5 pm to do some extra work on a special project. Hopefully, things will go smoothly with our special project.

UPDATE: If there was any ice or snow last night, I missed it. Everything was dry (relatively for mud season) and it was above freezing.

Homosexuality

Homosexuality

Henri Cole, 1956

 First I saw the round bill, like a bud;

then the sooty crested head, with avernal eyes

flickering, distressed, then the peculiar

long neck wrapping and unwrapping itself,

like pity or love, when I removed the stovepipe

cover of the bedroom chimney to free

what was there and a duck crashed into the room

(I am here in this fallen state), hitting her face,

bending her throat back (my love, my inborn

turbid wanting, at large all night), backing away,

gnawing at her own wing linings (the poison of my life,

the beast, the wolf), leaping out the window,

which I held open (now clear, sane, serene),

before climbing back naked into bed with you.

Dolly on God

I love Dolly Parton. She’s so talented, funny, and sweet. She’s all around a good person, never wanting to offend anyone. AL.com recently interviewed Dolly and asked her about her faith. She summed up my beliefs about Christianity in one brief paragraph. Here is what she said:

I just believe that there's a God. I believe that God helps me, leads me. I talk to Him everyday. I'd prefer to believe in God if there wasn't one, I'd still believe in God, because I believe we need to believe in something bigger and better than ourselves. It gives us hope. It gives us strength. I know it does me. My faith is very important. I do believe that through God all things are possible. I do believe that Jesus loves me. And I just use that. I'm never ashamed of my family. I'm never ashamed of my religion. I'm not trying to cram it down anyone else's throat. I just think that everybody's got to have something to believe in.

Speaking of country music, my all time favorite will always be Holly Dunn. Holly was born into a Church of Christ family and remained in the church her whole life. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of ovarian cancer. During her fight with cancer, she said:

My faith is my rock. But I also draw tremendous strength from my family and my family of friends who have gathered around me in total support. Being a Christian, I know that no matter how this chapter ends, I will be OK. Either upright walking on this earth or safe in my Savior's arms.

Sadly, she lost her battle with cancer and is in the arms of her Savior.

Both women dealt with LGBT issues very differently. Holly quietly kept her sexuality to herself. It was only confirmed after her death that she was survived by her wife. Holly could have done great things in country music if she’d come out, but country music wasn’t ready for t at the time, so she left country music and instead devoted herself to a different art form, painting. Dolly, on the other hand, has always been outspoken about the love she has for her gay fans. Dolly is nothing if not outspoken about all things. I don’t think it matters whether you are out and proud, if you proudly love the out and proud, or if you prefer your privacy, both women kept their faith, and that is a beautiful thing.

Moment of Zen: Breakfast

Especially when it comes with a kiss.

Headache

Yesterday, I had another one of my headaches. It lasted all day long and into the night. I just hope I wake up this morning without it.

UPDATE: I’m feeling better today. The headache is still there but not as bad as yesterday.

Deception and Instinct

ABC premiered a new show a week and a half ago: Deception. It’s about an illusionist Cameron Black (above) who gets into solving crimes. I love the illusions and the guy who plays Cameron is quite good looking. Here is a good synopsis of the show:

Superstar Las Vegas magician Cameron Black's career may have been ruined by scandal, but he's found another place to put his skills of deception, influence and illusion to use: the Federal Bureau of Investigation. As a consulting illusionist, Cameron uses every trick at his disposal -- inventing new ones as necessary -- to help the government catch the world's most elusive criminals and solve crimes that seem to defy all explanation. In doing so, he while feeds his ego by staging the biggest illusions of his career.

Deception airs Sunday nights on ABC at 10 pm Eastern.

Talking about new shows, there is another new show on Sunday nights at 8 pm Eastern on CBS called Instinct. This show stars out actor Alan Cumming who plays the first leading gay man in a network drama.  Here is a synopsis of Instinct:

Dr. Dylan Reinhart is a former CIA operative who's created a quieter life for himself as a professor and author of a best-selling book on abnormal behavior. When tenacious and resourceful NYPD detective Lizzie Needham approaches him to help her solve a serial killer case, he taps into his old skill set and reaches out to a CIA friend who has access to invaluable top-secret intelligence. As Dylan gets lured back into the adrenaline filled world of law enforcement, he and Lizzie realize that, together, they make the perfect team.

Both shows are well worth checking out. They are currently my favorite shows.

Vernal Equinox

Vernal Equinox
Amy Lowell, 1874 - 1925

The scent of hyacinths, like a pale mist, lies

between me and my book;
And the South Wind, washing through the room,
Makes the candles quiver.
My nerves sting at a spatter of rain on the shutter,
And I am uneasy with the thrusting of green shoots
Outside, in the night.

Why are you not here to overpower me with your

tense and urgent love?

Happy Vernal Equinox! (March 20th 12:15pm)

Cars!

Yesterday, I got in my car to go buy groceries, tried to start my car, and all I got was a clicking noise. I don’t know much about cars, so I called my dad. He said it was likely the battery. Luckily, my neighbor had jumper cables. This I know how to do. So I hooked the jumper cables up, she started her car, and then I tried to start mine. More clicking noises ensued. I also tried my little jump starter, but that didn’t work either. I finally broke down and called a coworker, who I know works on cars and asked for help. He agreed that it sounded like the battery, so he came over and we took the battery out. He took me to the only parts place open on a Sunday in this area, and I bought a new battery, the last and only one the parts place had that would fit my car. So we went back and put in the battery, I said a little prayer, and my car started up. Once it started I needed to drive it a little bit so, I went and did my grocery shopping.

By the way, I just paid off my car this month. Something was bound to happen.

P.S. Neither the neighbor or coworker comes close to resembling the guy above.

Pride Goes Before the Fall

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  - Proverbs 16:18

"Pride goeth before a fall" is a saying that is similar to the original Bible verse, found in Proverbs 16:18, but it does not accurately reflect the original text. In fact, the verse says, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." This shows that destruction is the end result of pride, according to the Bible.

Here is a little Indian Fable that I found called “Pride Goes Before the Fall.”

In a certain village there lived ten cloth merchants, who always went about together. Once upon a time they had travelled far afield, and were returning home with a great deal of money which they had obtained by selling their wares. Now there happened to be a dense forest near their village, and this they reached early one morning. In it there lived three notorious robbers, of whose existence the traders had never heard, and while they were still in the middle of it the robbers stood before them, with swords and cudgels in their hands, and ordered them to lay down all they had. The traders had no weapons with them, and so, though they were many more in number, they had to submit themselves to the robbers, who took away everything from them, even the very clothes they wore, and gave to each only a small loin-cloth a span in breadth and a cubit in length.

The idea that they had conquered ten men and plundered all their property, now took possession of the robbers’ minds. They seated themselves like three monarchs before the men they had plundered, and ordered them to dance to them before returning home. The merchants now mourned their fate. They had lost all they had, except their loin- cloth, and still the robbers were not satisfied, but ordered them to dance.

There was, among the ten merchants, one who was very clever. He pondered over the calamity that had come upon him and his friends, the dance they would have to perform, and the magnificent manner in which the three robbers had seated themselves on the grass. At the same time he observed that these last had placed their weapons on the ground, in the assurance of having thoroughly cowed the traders, who were now commencing to dance. So he took the lead in the dance, and, as a song is always sung by the leader on such occasions, to which the rest keep time with hands and feet, he thus began to sing:

  “We are enty men,
  They are erith men:
  If each erith man,   Surround eno men
  Eno man remains.
  Tâ, tai, tôm, tadingana.“

The robbers were all uneducated, and thought that the leader was merely singing a song as usual. So it was in one sense; for the leader commenced from a distance, and had sung the song over twice before he and his companions commenced to approach the robbers. They had understood his meaning, because they had been trained in trade.

When two traders discuss the price of an article in the presence of a purchaser, they use a riddling sort of language.

“What is the price of this cloth?” one trader will ask another.

“Enty rupees,” another will reply, meaning “ten rupees.”

Thus, there is no possibility of the purchaser knowing what is meant unless he be acquainted with trade language. By the rules of this secret language erith means “three,” enty means “ten,” and eno means “one.” So the leader by his song meant to hint to his fellow-traders that they were ten men, the robbers only three, that if three pounced upon each of the robbers, nine of them could hold them down, while the remaining one bound the robbers’ hands and feet.

The three thieves, glorying in their victory, and little understanding the meaning of the song and the intentions of the dancers, were proudly seated chewing betel and tobacco. Meanwhile the song was sung a third time. Tâ tai tôm had left the lips of the singer; and, beforetadingana was out of them, the traders separated into parties of three, and each party pounced upon a thief. The remaining one–the leader himself–tore up into long narrow strips a large piece of cloth, six cubits long, and tied the hands and feet of the robbers. These were entirely humbled now, and rolled on the ground like three bags of rice!

The ten traders now took back all their property, and armed themselves with the swords and cudgels of their enemies; and when they reached their village, they often amused their friends and relatives by relating their adventure.

Moment of Zen: Basketball

I’ve yet to watch any of the NCAA March Madness, but I have a few games on tomorrow that I want to watch. I played basketball in high school and love to watch the tournament when it is on. You never know who’s going to win.

Friday

There are so many things to say, but I don’t know where to start. First, I want to thank everyone for their compassionate comments yesterday. It’s so hard losing a friend, and though he’d been very sick for years, there is no way to prepare yourself for the loss of a friend.

Second, if you’ve never experienced clinical depression, then you are very lucky. It’s more than just being sad. A constant sense of hopelessness and despair is a sign you may have major depression, also known as clinical depression. Some of the symptoms might include:

• Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day
• Impaired concentration, indecisiveness
• Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day
• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day (called anhedonia, this symptom can be indicated by reports from significant others)
• Restlessness or feeling slowed down
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
• Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month)

If you are feeling these symptoms, please talk to your healthcare provider and seek help. You can’t understand until you try therapy or medication how significantly different you can feel. It is possible to live a normal life again.

Third, and this is random, I chose the picture above for no other reason than because I find the guy sexy. I love his green eyes that go perfectly with his green shirt. I love the almost smile on his face.  He’s just beautiful to me.

Finally, there are a myriad of other things I could talk about, but I’m gonna leave it at that.

The Loss of a Loved One

Sometimes I’m grouchy, sometimes I’m sad, and sometimes I cry. All those things are because I am clinically depressed. I take medicine for it and on most days it helps. However, when tragedy strikes, even the medicine doesn’t help. I cried myself to sleep Tuesday night and cried again Wednesday morning. A good friend of mine, whose suffered from a debilitating disease for years, passed away. He had been there for me in one of my darkest hours and done so much to help me. He was a wonderful man: selfless, loving, and kind. I’ve only ever known one person to be as selflessly generous as he was, and she is a wonderful friend and I don’t know what I’d do without her. I will miss my friend who passed and my thoughts are with his friends and loved ones.

Nor’easter

When I went to bed last night, we had gotten nine inches of snow. Now I love a good nine inches, just not of snow. It was supposed to snow through the night, and I have no doubt that it did. To top that off, it is supposed to snow all day today. The news was predicting six to twelve inches of snow in total from this nor’easter. It looks like we will get more than predicted. Maybe it will slow down and lightly snow the rest of the time. I really wish that the school would close today. There are no students here because of spring break, so there is no reason to be here. We had three people come into the museum today, besides the three of us at work. One was our interim director and the other two were there on business. No one came to the museum to see the museum. No one will come in today either. The university’s excuse for no snow days is that we have to cater to the students who live on campus, but since they aren’t here, there is no reason for us to be at the university either. What makes it worse is that I will probably be the sole person in the museum today. One of my coworkers is in Florida on a family emergency. The second lives in Burlington and has an hour commute which can be quite treacherous in these conditions. The third coworker’s babysitter has the flu and so he may not be able to come in today either. I just wish someone would listen to me about closing, but the powers that be won’t.

Don’t Quit

Don't Quit
by John Greenleaf Whittier

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

God’s Will

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, do not abandon those who search for you. (NLT) (Psalm 9:10 ) 

Do you search for the Lord's will in your life?  When you make yourself vulnerable and available for God to have control over your life, it's scary.  It does not mean difficult times won't come, instead, you have given Him the opportunity to be able to provide for you in the difficult times.  Are you looking to God to provide as you search for Him? 

When you walk with God, He will provide at just the right moment.  When you take things into your own hands and push God out of your plans you prevent Him from having the opportunity to provide for you.  In what areas have you stopped looking to God for direction? 

Do you have an important decision to make that impacts your future?  God has a perfect plan for your future, one that is in your best interest.  Invite God to be part of your decision through prayer.  Then look to the Word of God for guidance and principles to follow.  He will guide your thoughts and show you wise truths to aid you in the decision.  Finally, seek the advice of wise, respectable counsel. 

From Daily Devotionals App.

Moment of Zen: Underwear

Circe

Circe
by H. D.

It was easy enough
to bend them to my wish,
it was easy enough
to alter them with a touch,
but you
adrift on the great sea,
how shall I call you back?

Cedar and white ash,
rock-cedar and sand plants
and tamarisk
red cedar and white cedar
and black cedar from the inmost forest,
fragrance upon fragrance
and all of my sea-magic is for nought.

It was easy enough—
a thought called them
from the sharp edges of the earth;
they prayed for a touch,
they cried for the sight of my face,
they entreated me
till in pity
I turned each to his own self.

Panther and panther,
then a black leopard
follows close—
black panther and red
and a great hound,
a god-like beast,
cut the sand in a clear ring
and shut me from the earth,
and cover the sea-sound
with their throats,
and the sea-roar with their own barks
and bellowing and snarls,
and the sea-stars
and the swirl of the sand,
and the rock-tamarisk
and the wind resonance—
but not your voice.

It is easy enough to call men
from the edges of the earth.
It is easy enough to summon them to my feet
with a thought—
it is beautiful to see the tall panther
and the sleek deer-hounds
circle in the dark.

It is easy enough
to make cedar and white ash fumes
into palaces
and to cover the sea-caves
with ivory and onyx.

But I would give up
rock-fringes of coral
and the inmost chamber
of my island palace
and my own gifts
and the whole region
of my power and magic
for your glance.

Monday Is Here Again

I almost forgot to write a post for today. I'd spent the evening watching the Netflix series Altered Carbon, which is a really gritty and gruesome series. I don't know why I keep watching it, but I'm hooked on it now and only have a few more episodes to watch. Did anyone watch the Oscars last night? I obviously didn't, but did see some of the outfits on Twitter. I keep thinking to myself: what was Adam Rippon thinking with that outfit? I guess we all have our styles. One person commented, "When you have to go to the Academy Awards at 8 and the Eagle at 11." If you haven't seen it, here's the outfit:

Jesus Loves Gays

Moment of Zen: Cooking

One More Day?

When I wrote this last night, I was contemplating whether or not to call in sick today. I still had some congestion and a terrible headache. It will all be according to how I feel when I wake up this morning as to whether or not I will go into work. As of last night, I was leaning toward one more sick day.