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There are a few things I always notice about a man. If I’m behind him, it’s obviously his butt, but if I’m facing him, it’s usually his smile or his eyes before my gaze wanders any lower. I think that’s probably true for most of us, whether we admit it or not. I also pay attention to how a man dresses because I appreciate someone who takes pride in how he presents himself and carries himself. I’m not a fan of someone who looks sloppy or careless. I’ll notice his haircut too because even back when I had plenty of hair myself, I always appreciated a man with a good haircut.
Now, while I may lust after a handsome man for all the reasons above, those things alone are not what determine whether I’d want to pursue anything more—assuming he was even interested. What matters next is what comes out of his mouth. I’m attracted to intelligence, but not arrogance. I like warmth, kindness, and friendliness. I’m a shy person, especially when it comes to meeting men, and that’s probably a large part of why I’m still single. I’ve never been particularly good at making the first move or believing someone might actually be interested in me, so I tend to hold back more than I probably should. In some ways, that has become even more true since I lost weight. Even now, I still think people see the awkward overweight guy I used to be. There have been plenty of times when I’ve replayed an interaction in my head afterward and suddenly realized the guy was probably flirting with me and it went completely over my head at the time.
I’ll also admit that if a guy is attractive and friendly, but maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed, I’m perfectly capable of keeping things physical and nothing more—though I rarely go in that direction anymore. These days, I tend to be a bit more selective when it comes to intimate encounters.
With all that said, there is one thing that will always make me weak in the knees: a wink.
If a guy winks at me, I instinctively wink back, and there’s immediately a spark of attraction. Part of it is the confidence behind a wink. It takes a certain personality to do that—to create an instant connection between two people with nothing more than a look. A wink says, “We’re thinking the same thing,” but it also feels like sharing a secret, no matter how small or insignificant that secret might be.
I’m not entirely sure why a wink affects me so much, but I suspect it has something to do with the kinds of guys I was attracted to back in high school, long before I ever allowed myself to admit I was gay. The boys I tended to like had a certain bravado, but they were also friendly. They didn’t immediately look at me and think, “He’s a fag,” and treat me like someone beneath them or someone to avoid. Instead, they saw a nice guy—someone smart, maybe a little awkward and shy, but always kind.
They also tended to be protective of me.
I was picked on a lot in school, mostly because people perceived me as gay, which is probably another reason it took me so long to admit my sexuality to myself. I didn’t want to be the thing everyone mocked or treated as something shameful. It took me a long time to get past that and allow myself to simply be who I was. Even after I came out to most people, it still took me a long time to feel comfortable enough to fully be myself.
When someone bullied me, these guys would often step in. Sometimes it was subtle; other times, it definitely wasn’t. They might throw an insult right back at the bully or shut them down with a joke. And often, after doing it, they’d give me that wink.
It was their way of saying, “I’ve got your back.”
I think most of us can agree on how a man’s physical appearance can affect us, but I’m curious: what is the one thing that always makes you weak in the knees?
5 comments:
A handsome, smiling man is the greatest turn-on!
idem
The build, the face, the frontal load, the back slide, the legs and the way he carries himself in that order. Wink first Joe. Hold the flag high.
Oh come on, Joe!! I find a lot of things sexy/attractive about a man. I have varying tastes. But what gets me the most is what comes out of his mouth. I don't expect him to have perfect diction, but I want him to be kind. I, too, like how a man presents himself. I wish men would take a little more pride in themselves these days. The athleisure wear is over for me. The only time you will see me in athletic wear and tennis shoes is when I am going to the gym. Looks are important, but they don't have to be runway material. I have met many men in my time who were what we would call average but nice as hell. I like a fit man, not necessarily muscles, but not sloppy fat. A little chunk can be good. Something to hang on to. I watch how men treat other people. Case in point. There is a guy at my gym who is attractive as all get out. But what attracted me even more was his disposition. He was fun, easy-going, laughing with his gym pals when they would come to work out with him. Always a smile on his face. It got to me, so one day I went up to him and introduced myself and stated so. That smile quickly appeared on his face, and he said thank you. He stated that the gym was his happy place. He is a pharmacist on the medical campus. We have always greeted each other by name when we see each other. I am not really a size queen. I have worked in the medical field for years and seen my fair share of dicks. Just give me something to play with. Also, I am in my 60s and have never been attracted to younger men-twinks. I would say 10 years on either side of my age. These days, not many men are coming over for dinner or even a play date. To sum up, I look at men, and there could be many things that may attract me. Oh yes, I like them furry. From light to bear type. I don't like them smooth, shaved to the inch of their lives.
José tu y yo nos parecemos bastante en cuanto a preferencias. Por cierto amo a ese jovencito rubio.
Ángel
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