The End of Summer

Today is my last day of summer vacation.  I go back to school tomorrow.  We have teacher workdays Thursday and Friday, then the students come back on Monday.  Where has my summer gone?  It really feels like the school year just ended last week.  I always think of summer as being three months off, but we really only got two months off.  I am not ready for school to start back.  Smart-mouthed kids, lazy students, and early mornings...YUCK!

I'm going to spend my last day of freedom reading.  This hasn't been the best summer; it's actually been pretty stressful.  However, some of my stresses have recently been relieved, and I was just starting to recover and relax some.  Now it all comes to an end.

My hope is that this will be a great school year, and that the students that I am dreading dealing with this year won't be as bad as I expect.

Move to the City

Move to the City  

by Nathaniel Bellows

live life as a stranger. Disappear

into frequent invention, depending

on the district, wherever you get off

the train. For a night, take the name

of the person who'd say yes to that

offer, that overture, the invitation to

kiss that mouth, sit on that lap. Assume

the name of whoever has the skill to

slip from the warm side of the sleeping

stranger, dress in the hallway of the

hotel. This is a city where people

know the price of everything, and

know that some of the best things

still come free. In one guise: shed

all that shame. In another: flaunt the

plumage you've never allowed

yourself to leverage. Danger will

always be outweighed by education,

even if conjured by a lie. Remember:

go home while it's still dark. Don't

invite anyone back. And, once inside,

take off the mask. These inventions

are the art of a kind of citizenship,

and they do not last. In the end, it

might mean nothing beyond further

fortifying the walls, crystallizing

the questioned, tested autonomy,

ratifying the fact that nothing will be

as secret, as satisfying, as the work

you do alone in your room.

About This Poem

"What can one learn from anonymity? Freedom, flexibility, invention, the chance to know who you are by acting out who you may not be. There is a lot to be gained from participating in the world around you, from engagement. This poem is an homage to the art of autonomy." 

 --Nathaniel Bellows

About this Poet

Nathaniel Bellows is the author of Why Speak? (W. W. Norton, 2008). He is also the author of the novel, On This Day (HarperCollins, 2003). Bellows lives in New York City.

Many of us who write blogs do so in anonymity, so we know that we can learn much from anonymity.  As an anonymous blogger, I continue to learn more about myself.  There is so much we can learn from Mr. Bellows's poem.  I chose this poem the same way I choose many poems,  after reading it and reading what the author said about it, the poem spoke to me.  Poems that speak to us, are often the greatest of poetry because it brings its own meaning to our soul.

National Underwear Day

Today is the 10th Annual National Underwear Day.  In an effort to publicly shine light on "unmentionables," Freshpair founded National Underwear Day on August 5th, 2003. Over the last 10 years they've celebrated underwear by hosting New York City model events, massive underwear giveaways, a pop-up shop in Columbus Circle, and a Times Square runway show.

Throughout the years, thousands of people have written Freshpair and shared acts of confidence. They've heard from cancer survivors struggling to regain their lives, men and women suffering with poor body image, and young and old embracing their sexuality. This year National Underwear Day is about EVERYONE.

As the founder of National Underwear Day, Freshpair understands that confidence is the byproduct of believing in one's self. And this year they want more people to do just that. That's why they're inviting everyone who has ever doubted themselves to join them in attempting to break a Guinness World Record in Times Square. All you need to bring is your underwear.

There are a few rules:

Record Breaking Rules

Freshpair encourages you to show your individuality and confidence by wearing your favorite undies, but in order to break the Guinness World Record everyone must adhere to the following guidelines.

1. Men must be wearing underpants, boxers, boxer briefs or briefs. They cannot be wearing shirts, undershirts, or jock straps.

2. Women must wear underpants, thongs (not too revealing; allowed on a case-by-case basis), shapewear or boyshorts (that are clearly underwear). Shirts or full coverage bras are also permitted.

3. All participants can wear socks and shoes.

4. If it rains, ponchos are not permitted but umbrellas are.

Event Etiquette

1. Remember that, although the National Underwear Day event is 18+ years of age, Times Square is a family-friendly location. Be courteous, but have fun. Wear fun undies, but keep in mind revealing items may be offensive to some.

2. Nudity is strictly prohibited. Although it's not illegal to go topless in NYC, Times Square is a family-friendly location so we should all be considerate of non-NUD participants, passers-by, and tourists.

3. National Underwear Day is all about public displays of confidence (#PDC) but public displays of affection, towards any participants, are discouraged.

I'd love to witness National Underwear Day in Times Square, but since it's not possible for me to be there, I plan to spend as much of today as possible in just my underwear.  Why don't you join me?  Be confident, be proud!

The Prayer of Faith

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit. My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

James 5:13-20

James ends his epistle with a discussion on prayer.  Prayer is communication or communion with God. It can be a petition or an appeal to Him confessing our sins and asking for forgiveness. It can be conversation with Him giving Him praise for showering us with blessings. 

It can be an outpouring of thanksgiving from the innermost part of our heart. It can be a request for help or assistance for us or for someone else. It is talking to our Heavenly Father just as we talk to people around us.

Sometimes when we pray to God, we might think that He is not listening because we do not get immediate response or answer to our prayer. The Old Testament tells us that David was praying to God for help because his enemies were fighting with him, but he felt his prayer was not being heard. David said, "When my prayers returned to me unanswered, I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother" (Psalm 35: 13, 14).

God does hear each and every one of our prayers; however, some of them are denied for reasons we do not understand. Maybe the timing is bad or the request can be met in a better and more beneficial way. We must realize that we do not always know what is good for us. 

It would be wonderful and our life would be so simple and non-stressful if we could only accept God's answers the way children do. If we could only have the faith of a child and accept when we don't get our way, through faith, believe God has something better.

There are times we pray for ourselves and there are times we pray for other people. We are not being selfish when we pray for ourselves. God knows our needs and He knows our wants. These two things don't always match and many times our wants are not good for us, therefore, we don't get what we ask for.

Should we stop praying when we don't get results as we think we should? Are we to believe in our heart that God is not listening; He doesn't care, the request is too small or too big, we are not worthy, or we are asking for the impossible?

The truth is that we should never stop praying just because our prayer is not answered on the first go-around. God is always listening and in fact He knows what we are going to ask for even before we ask. He cares about every facet of our life and nothing is too small or too big. 

Since He created us, we are His child and He cares for us just as we as earthly parents care for our children. We should never be concerned that our request or prayer is impossible because "….with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

Some people feel that it is not proper for them to pray for themselves. They believe that it is a selfish act so they ask others to pray for them or to keep them in their prayers. James penned these words: "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray." (James 5:13). People face different mountains of suffering. One could be suffering from a sickness or an illness of some nature. The physical body could be hurting or the mind could be confused. 

James goes on to say, "Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms" (v. 13). As a child of God, we are blessed in many ways. First of all, God has given us the breath of life. He keeps our heart beating 24 hours each day. He has given us an earthly family who loves us and cares for us. We have food to eat, clothes to wear, a shelter in which to live, a means of earning a living, numerous material things to enjoy, and a Savior who loves us so much He took all of our sins and placed them at the foot of the Cross. 

All of us have been sick at one time or another, but how many times have we called the elders of the church? James said, "Is anyone among you sick? Let Him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord" (James 5:14). People should request the services of the minister when they are in need. In some churches, the minister and the elders will respond to a call from the sick person. It is the duty of the sick person to notify the church of their condition so that they can be placed on the prayer list and prayed for during the service or prayer meeting. 

James says, "And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up." You might ask about the "prayer of faith" as to what it means. Prayer is talking intimately with God and "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1). It is mandatory that the person praying and the person being prayed for have a lively faith.

Faith in itself does not heal, but it is God who does the healing. Our prayers are the beginning of the healing process. God waits for our prayers which are asked "….in the name of the Lord" (v. 14) before he steps in to take care of our requests. He answers our prayers according to His will.

James goes on to tell us that "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (v. 16). Who is a righteous man? The word righteous indicates that the man is honest, good, upright and honorable in the sight of Almighty God.

No man or woman is perfect "….for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23), but Jesus made it possible for us to talk to God and ask for forgiveness. A righteous person who has sinned will ask for forgiveness either privately or publicly. A righteous person reflects the image of his Creator. God can and will work through a righteous person and bring about marvelous happenings.

Moment of Zen: Chill Gay Dude

I came across a new blog yesterday, Chill Gay Dude.  The blogger is named Travis.  He's a pretty typical 18 year old guy, but he's gay and nobody knows it. He started his blog to get some stuff off his chest, as most of us do, and share this part of my life with some people, anonymously.  It's a new blog, but if you read through his posts, I think like me, you will be reminded of those early years of life in the closet, when your horny, perving on your guy friends, and scared to death that someone might find out.

Friday Funny: Walmart Cake

After I had read the caption, I couldn't stop laughing.  I try to avoid Walmart as much as possible, but where I live, it's Walmart or Dollar General, unless you go to a bigger city.

TMI: THAT'S SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH!

On Sean's blog, Just a Jeep Guy, he posted on Tuesday "TMI TUESDAY QUESTIONS: THAT'S SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH!."  And I decided that I would once again participate.  So here we go:

 1. Do you have a good laugh? Do you like it?

I tend to think I do.  It's a hearty laugh when I am really laughing, though most of the time I laugh silently.

 2. Do you have a sense of humor? What kind?

I do have a sense of humor.  It is usually fairly dry, though sometimes a bit dirty.  My high school students never get my jokes, but my college students tend to find me pretty funny.  It's one of the reasons that they flock to my class.

 3. How important is a sense of humor in a mate?

The people I surround myself with have to have a sense of humor; otherwise, life gets boring.

 4. Are you attracted to one type of humor over another?

Though I like some British humor, Monty Python humor escapes me as does most stupid humor.  I hate it when humor is just mean, or people get hurt for a laugh.  I tend to like more intellectual humor.  Nothing beats a good dirty joke though.

 5. Can being really funny make an "unfortunate looking" person sexy and attractive to you?

Yes, it can.  Someone with a great sense of humor shows that they have a great personality.  Nothing is sexier than someone who is easy to get along with and has a great sense of humor.

 6. Fart jokes are_______! 

Hilarious.  I can't help it.   Potty humor is just funny to me.  I couldn't help it last night when my cat farted (not very regal of HRH, but to damn funny).  She was sitting there and all of a sudden her back end lifted up, and I heard a little "berrrrrroot."  I got the pure silly giggles.  She didn't appreciate me laughing at her.

 7. Do you embarrass easily?

Yes. Yes, I do. Enough said.

 8. Do you tend to wear silly t-shirts? Do you have a favorite?
I don't usually wear silly t-shirts.  The only one that I own is a Sheldon t-shirt with "Bazinga" on it.

 9. Do you make faces or strike a pose when having your picture taken?
No, I don't.  I hate having my picture taken so I avoid it if at all possible.  When I have tried to make faces or strike a pose, it just comes out looking either forced or just stupid.

10. Which is the funniest movie you've seen?
Few movies make me just laugh out loud, but if I had to choose it would either be "History of the World Part I" or "Spaceballs."  Most movies that make me laugh have sad parts as well as humorous parts, such as "The Help":

Minny Jackson: Eat my shit.
Hilly Holbrook: Excuse me!
Minny Jackson: I said eat... my... shit.
Hilly Holbrook: Have you lost your mind?
Minny Jackson: No, ma'am but you is about to. 'Cause you just did.

 or "Fried Green Tomatoes":

[Evelyn is cut off in a parking lot]
Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster!
[Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times]
Girl #1: What are you *doing*?
Girl #2: Are you *crazy*?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.

(And my favorite quote from Fried Green Tomatoes)
Ninny Threadgoode: [to Evelyn] You git yourself some hormones!

or "The King's Speech"

King George VI: All that work down the drain. My own brother, I couldn't say a single word to him in reply.
Lionel Logue: Why do you stammer so much more with David than you ever do with me?
King George VI: 'Cos you're b... bloody well paid to listen.
Lionel Logue: Bertie, I'm not a geisha girl.
King George VI: St... stop trying to be so bloody clever.
Lionel Logue: What is it about David that stops you speaking?
King George VI: What is it about you that bloody well makes you want to go on about it the whole bloody time?
Lionel Logue: Vulgar, but fluent; you don't stammer when you swear.
King George VI: Oh, bugger orf!
Lionel Logue: Is that the best you can do?
King George VI: Well... bloody bugger to you, you beastly bastard.
Lionel Logue: Oh, a public school prig could do better than that.
King George VI: Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
Lionel Logue: Yes!
King George VI: Shit!
Lionel Logue: Defecation flows trippingly from the tongue!
King George VI: Because I'm angry!
Lionel Logue: Do you know the f-word?
King George VI: F... f... fornication?
Lionel Logue: Oh, Bertie.
King George VI: Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck! Fuck, fuck and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty buggerty buggerty, fuck, fuck, arse!
Lionel Logue: Yes...
King George VI: Balls, balls...
Lionel Logue: ...you see, not a hesitation!
King George VI: ...fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and... tits.

That being said there are some TV shows that always make me laugh out loud.  I love "The Big Bang Theory" and "Mike & Molly."  And though I hate to admit it, because I think it is the most foul show on TV, I can't help but laugh at "2 Broke Girls."

11. Do clowns scare you or make you laugh?

There is nothing funny about clowns!  They scare the crap out of me.

BONUS

What's the funniest thing to happen to you while having sex?

I plead the fifth on this one.  Honestly, I can't think of anything at the moment.

Gay teachers less likely to challenge homophobia?

Despite the ever-present challenges lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students face at school, a new study finds that gay teachers are actually less likely to challenge bullying in the classroom than their straight counterparts out of fear for their own jobs.

As TES Magazine reports, the study comprised interviews with more than 350 teachers and school principals over how they deal with anti-gay incidents at school. The bulk of the interviewees who identified as LGBT said that not only did they not feel safe coming out at school, but they had rarely intervened when they witnessed homophobic remarks being made.

Over one-third of the teachers interviewed for the survey said they were worried their jobs would be at risk if they came out to their colleagues, while 62 percent were worried about losing their jobs if they came out to their students, according to the report.

As a gay teacher myself, I understand how other LGBT teachers might feel. Whereas, some teachers might not stand up to homophobic incidents, I do not allow any bullying or any disparaging remarks in my presence.  I attempt to teach my students the golden rule.  Though I might fear that it might out me to my students or that my students might perceive me as gay because of it, I don't worry too much.  Parents and students alike know that I am the one liberal teacher at the school, and so they think it is just one of my liberal diatribes when I challenge bullying in the classroom. I also tend to give them a mini sermon on the golden rule in the process.

That being said, it does not mean that my job would not be in jeopardy if my sexuality did come out.  I have allies on the school board, so I might not lose my job, but it is also quite likely that I would.  We can hope that one day, the sexuality of teachers will not be an issue.  Currently, it is a very real threat.  News of the TES Magazine report follows the case of Carla Hale, a longtime teacher at Ohio's Bishop Watterson High School who was reportedly fired after her partner's name, Julie, was listed among the survivors in a public obituary for Hale's mother.  In February, Purcell Marian High School Assistant Principal Mike Moroski was fired by the Archdiocese of Cincinnati after endorsing gay marriage in a personal blog post, while in 2012, music teacher Al Fischer was dismissed from his job at St. Ann Catholic School in north St. Louis County, Mo., after archdiocese officials learned he was planning on marrying his longtime partner.

What's the railroad to me?

What's the railroad to me? 

by Henry David Thoreau

What's the railroad to me? 

I never go to see 

Where it ends. 

It fills a few hollows, 

And makes banks for the swallows, 

It sets the sand a-blowing, 

And the blackberries a-growing.

About This Poem

Henry David Thoreau was cautious about the effect of technological progress on mankind, feeling that it often could be a distraction from the inner life. In his book Walden he famously writes, "We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us."

About This Poet

Henry David Thoreau was born in Concord, Massachusetts, on July 12, 1817. He is perhaps best known for his works Walden, which touches upon the virtues of nature and simple living, and Civil Disobedience, which promotes peaceful resistance to acts by an unjust government. Thoreau died in 1862.

Defying Gravity

Because you didn't know she felt the same way about you... or if she did, for some reason it wasn't okay... thought that people wouldn't like it. And one day, after months, years, it's just another day, nothing special, just the two of you. For some reason everyone's out of the house. You can't turn back, you can't let go, you can't stop - as if you were one person, defying gravity, together.

--John 'Griff' Griffith, Defying Gravity

I came across an article the other day about the MPAA creating a new website so that people can find legitimate and legal movies for download.  I noticed that one of the websites was Wolfe Video.  If you've ever watched a fair amount of gay cinema, you have no doubt come across Wolfe Video, the oldest and largest exclusive distributor of gay and lesbian films in North America.  As I was looking through WolfeOnDemand, I came across one of my all time favorite LGBT movies, Defying Gravity.

Defying Gravity was filmed in just 13 days using a cast largely of first-time actors, the film played the gay and lesbian film festival circuit in 1997 and 1998.  It is an earnest, heart-felt movie. While its edges are rough, both in terms of the performances and the filmmaking, it's these rough edges that actually make the movie feel more real in a way that polished Hollywood acting and production values would undermine. One could complain that it is yet another coming out story, and in many ways it is, but it's an effective one.

John 'Griff' Griffith (Daniel Chilson) is a college student who lives in a frat house with your typical college guys. Everyone is assumed to be straight, and the majority of brothers are. Griff wants to belong, but as a young gay man, he feels a certain amount of isolation. Because of his wanting to fit in, he remains in the closet despite the efforts of his boyfriend Pete (Don Handfield) to help him come to terms with his identity. Finally, a crisis forces Griff to take a stand for himself and for Pete. Yes, anyone who has seen more than a few gay-themed movies or TV shows will have seen this plot. But it is handled in such an honest and affecting way that you will forgive it.

What sets this movie apart are the character relationships. Griff's interesting relationships with best friend Todd (Niklaus Lange), with Todd's girlfriend Heather (Leslie Tesh), with fellow student Denetra (Linna Carter), and with Pete's father are what helps us to forgive the cliched elements of the plot. Of particular note are the relationships with Todd and with Pete's father. Their reactions to Griff's relationship with Pete are not what you have come to expect from coming out films. It makes for a refreshing change of pace, and writer/director John Keitel deserves credit for putting new spins on these stock characters.

The acting never really rises above college drama student level, but that works for a movie about college students. Chilson, Lange, Tesh, and Carter all act earnestly and come across as believable college kids in ways that technically-trained performers might not.  There is one particular scene when Griff goes to see Pete in the hospital.  Griff utters one word, "Man...."  He utters it in a long drawn out way, that melted my heart.  Any flaws in the film were forgotten for me when I heard that line.

I hope you will give this little movie a chance.