Saturday, July 18, 2015

Moment of Zen: Reading and Writing



I have been very busy this past week, but there are two things that have made me very happy this week: reading and writing (two out of three of the 3 R's isn't bad, but not arithmetic please).
First, I have been reading Go Set the Watchman by Harper Lee, and whereas there seems to be a lot of unflattering reviews of the book, I find them misplaced.  In fact, I'm not so sure some of the readers even read the book, and if they had, they already made up their mind before they read it that they wouldn't like it.  I still have about 100 pages to go, but so far I am loving the book, and I think it is an important piece of history.  No matter what you think of the book, it captures the nuances of changes in the South in the 1950s, but more on that when I finish the book.
Also, I have been writing.  A few weeks ago, at the encouragement of friends, I began writing a novel.  I'd tried to write one several years ago, but life got in the way and I never finished it.  However,  this book is one that I have had in my head for a while and thought that it needed to come out.  So I put pen to paper, or more accurately fingers to keyboard, and I began writing.  I will also talk more about that in the future as well.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Sleepy and Tired



I kept falling asleep as I was writing my post.  Sorry readers.  I will get my act togethr over the weekend.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

The Present



Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
Bil Keane

I was staying with my granny last night to give my mother a break, and I had limited internet access at her house.  Therefore, I was having trouble deciding on a topic today, so a quote will have to suffice.  
By the way, I've begun reading Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee that came out this week.  I can't wait to finish it so I can review it.  Is anyone else reading it?

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Brad Boney Hit It Out of the Park


It’s the summer of 1983, and Trent Days is Major League Baseball’s rookie sensation. Born in Alaska to an Inupiat mother, the press have dubbed him the Eskimo Slugger, but a midseason collision at home plate temporarily halts his meteoric rise to the top.
Sent back to Austin to recuperate, Trent visits his favorite record store, Inner Sanctum, where he meets amiable law student Brendan Baxter. A skip in the vinyl of New Order’s “Blue Monday” drives Trent back to Brendan, and their romance takes them into uncharted territory.
As Trent’s feelings move from casual to serious, he’s faced with an impossible dilemma. Does he abandon any hope of a future with Brendan and return to the shadows and secrets of professional sports? Or does he embrace the possibility of real love and leave baseball behind him forever? As he struggles with his decision, Trent embarks on a journey of self-discovery—to figure out who he really is and what matters most.
If you have read Brad Boney’s The Return, then you know how The Eskimo Slugger ends, but don’t let that deter you from reading this book. Boney like Trent Days, the Eskimo Slugger, hits this one out of the park. The way Boney is able to interweave these stories together is truly awe-inspiring. If you have read The Nothingness of Ben and The Return, you know that the end of this book is really the beginning of The Nothingness of Ben. Boney has managed to create this beautiful circular set of books that literally bleeds one into the other so that you want to just keep going round and round the merry-go-round. (If it weren't for the fact that Harper Lee’s Go Set a Watchmen was released yesterday, I would have done just that, but I've waited all my life for another book by Harper Lee.)
The backstory is very complex, but not so complex that the average reader is unable to keep up with the nuances of the story. This is Brad Boney at his finest. He had a tremendous talent for weaving several stories together at once, but the reader doesn't necessarily know that. Then at the end, it all comes together. However, if you love a good puzzle (I won’t call it a mystery), you will love finding all of the pieces within the story and putting them together. I found myself referencing both of the earlier books time and again with the “treasures” that were revealed throughout this book. Without completely giving away all the secrets just know that all three books are inter-related in various ways and little bits of their stories, past and present are slipped in throughout the story.
This being 1983 and thirty years before today's openness about sex, there are some pretty funny forays into discussions of gay sex. The two main characters explore each other and relatively unexplored aspect to their personalities. Today’s youth doesn't have the same issues with coming out and being open as young men in the early 1980s, even in a progressive southern city like Austin, Texas. It was a different time period when AIDS was unheard of in the public, and being in the closet was a way of life for many Americans outside of places like New York City and San Francisco. Even though New Orleans had a gay community at the time, it was not as open as today. Boney realizes this as he discusses homosexuality in the early 1980s.
I wish I had a portion of the talent Brad Boney has for story telling. He really is a master, and I highly recommend this book. Boney has a tremendous talent, and he doesn't disappoint in this third installment of this series that began with The Nothingness of Ben. I highly encourage anyone to read The Nothingness of Ben and The Return before reading this book, or else the ending will not make sense and you'll be left greatly unsatisfied.
I listened to The Eskimo Slugger as an audiobook, because I just don't have the time to stop and read, so when I am driving, this is when I get in my “reading.” The Nothingness of Ben and The Return were narrated by Canadian actor Charlie David who did a wonderful job. He gave all of the characters a distinct voice and emotions, and he was an absolute joy to listen to. I was disappointed to see that he did not narrate The Eskimo Slugger. That job went to Michael Ferraluolo who did an excellent job with the book.  I think the continuity would have been great if Charlie David had been the narrator, but Michael Ferraluolo didn’t disappoint with his performance. He has a great voice that is easy to listen to and did a nice job differentiating the characters, though there were a few instances when his character’s accents slipped away. I really got into the emotion of the story and even managed to do a nice job with the female voices.
And yes, Eskimo Slugger is the name of an alcoholic beverage:
1 1/2 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
1 oz Absolut® vodka
1/2 oz Rumple Minze® peppermint liqueur
Pour all three ingredients into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain into a small old-fashioned or rocks glass, and serve.
I agree with Trent Days in the book, it sounds terribly vile to me too.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

First Love


First Love
 By Jennifer Franklin
The boy beside me
is not you but he
is familiar in all
the important ways.
I pass through life
finding you over
and over again—
oppress you
with love. And every
surrogate?
Afflicted by my
kindness, they leave
me with my music.
I loved you before
I ever loved you.

About This Poem
“This poem was written on a napkin in Brandy’s Piano Bar in New York’s upper east side. Brandy’s is a remnant of old(er) New York where a solo featured pianist and a handful of bartenders take turns playing 80s ballads, Bob Dylan, and standards. We arrived, close to last call on a bitterly cold February night, after a new friend and I filled in on my brother’s Wednesday night trivia team at the Banshee Pub nearby. Just before close, two patrons asked if they could usurp the piano and mic for a three-song set. They were brilliant. Their set happened to be the nostalgia of my childhood jukebox, presented as spontaneous and ironic, but nonetheless sincere and therefore sad.”
Jennifer Franklin
 
Jennifer Franklin is the author of Looming (Elixir Press, 2015). She teaches at The Hudson Valley Writers Center and lives in New York City.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Queer as a $10 Bill?



You’ve probably all heard the phrase “Queer as a $3 bill,” which was originally “Queer as a Clockwork Orange.” Though originally it was meant as a way to claim something was strange, it has taken on more meaning today as someone who is homosexual. But maybe the phrase would be more accurate as "Queer as a $10 bill."  Most people think of Founding Father Alexander Hamilton as the face on the $10 bill (which now has a pinkish hue to it), but would he have been better suited for the $3 bill? There's some evidence in his letters that he may have been bisexual. Come to think if it, if he was bisexual, maybe he belongs on the $2 bill. Sorry, it's late as I write this, and I can be a bit silly late at night.
Hamilton married Elizabeth Schuyler in 1780 and fathered a total of eight children, but some historians believe Hamilton had a romantic relationship with fellow solider and aristocrat John Laurens while both men were aide-de-camps to George Washington during the Revolutionary War. Washington’s concern for his male colleagues clearly extended to their personal lives. This was especially true of Hamilton, who he brought with him to Valley Forge, giving Hamilton a cabin to share with his then-lover, John Laurens, to whom Hamilton had written passionate love letters which are discussed below.
Maj. Gen. Frederich Wilhelm von Steuben, the Prussian military genius Washington enlisted to help him strategize at Valley Forge, was a known homosexual (he'd been expelled from the court of Frederick the Great for sodomy) and came to the Continental Army with his young French assistant, Pierre Etienne Duponceau, who was presumed to be his lover and shared a bed with von Steuben at Valley Forge. Since von Steuben’s English was limited, but his French was perfect, Washington assigned his own secretary and one of his aides-de-camp to von Steuben, Lt. Col. Alexander Hamilton and Lt. Col. John Laurens, who shared a cabin at Valley Forge at Washington’s bequest. Washington, who had to have known the nature of their relationship due to his own closeness with Hamilton, situated the two together at Valley Forge and then connected them with von Steuben and Duponceau--a gay foursome working directly with the leader of the Continental Army.
The evidence of Hamilton’s and Laurens’ relationship is found in a series letters written by Hamilton to Laurens shortly after Laurens left Washington’s military family for South Carolina, where he worked to recruit African American troops to fight against the British.
In a letter dated April 1779, Hamilton begins:
Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’til you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent of the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent.
Though most people in the 18th century wrote with a very flowery language that to modern ears may sound gay, but was actually innocent. However, sometimes things are exactly what they appear to be and this doesn't seem like mere flowery language.
The letter continues:
But as you have done it, and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have artfully instilled into me.
At the time, romantic relationships between members of the same sex were considered taboo, and sodomy was a punishable offense in all 13 colonies and men were subject to imprisonment, castration, and even death. Which raises the question of what sort of “fraud” Hamilton might be referring to.
In another letter, dated September 1779, Hamilton describes himself as a “jealous lover” after Laurens failed to respond to any of his missives:
Like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful ____.
At that point, the handwriting becomes illegible, leaving it up to the reader’s imagination what the Founding Father may have written.
Later in the letter, Hamilton talks about his new fiancΓ©, Elizabeth Schuyler, in language that makes her sound more like a beard than a wife:
Next fall completes my doom. I give up my liberty to Miss Schuyler. She is a good hearted girl who I am sure will never play the termagant; though not a genius she has good sense enough to be agreeable, and though not a beauty, she has fine black eyes – is rather handsome and has every other requisite of the exterior to make a lover happy. And believe me, I am lover in earnest, though I do not speak of the perfections of my Mistress in the enthusiasm of Chivalry.
One year later, in a letter dated September 1780, Hamilton again wrote to Laurens about his wife:
In spite of Schuyler’s black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted that I am now. Let me tell you, that I intend to restore the empire of Hymen and that Cupid is to be his prime Minister.
He signed the letter:
Adieu, be happy, and let friendship between us be more than a name.
It’s been reported that after his death, Hamilton’s family crossed out sections of the letters. Their reasons for doing so are unknown, though some speculate it was because the notes contained suggestive language that might have confirmed a romantic relationship between the two men.
Interestingly, in his 2003 essay “Slavery and Liberty in the American Revolution,” historian Gregory D. Massey notes that of all the surviving letters written by Hamilton, the only other ones that show the same level of sentiment are those penned to his wife.
Of course, we’ll probably never know for sure. But one thing is for certain: Whatever feelings Hamilton had towards Laurens were unique, as evidenced in a letter he sent to General Greene in 1782 after Laurens was killed in the Battle of the Combahee River:
I feel the deepest affliction at the news we have just received of the loss of our dear and inestimable friend Laurens. His career of virtue is at an end…. I feel the loss of a friend I truly and most tenderly loved, and one of a very small number.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Hope



Faith, hope, and love abide. - 1 Corinthians 13:13

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. - Hebrews 10:19-22

Most people understand hope as wishful thinking, as in "I hope something will happen." This is not what the Bible means by hope. The biblical definition of hope is "confident expectation." Hope is a firm assurance regarding things that are unclear and unknown. Hope is a fundamental component of the life of the righteous. Without hope, life loses its meaning and in death there is no hope. The righteous who trust or put their hope in God will be helped, and they will not be confounded, put to shame, or disappointed. The righteous, who have this trustful hope in God, have a general confidence in God's protection and help and are free from fear and anxiety.

The New Testament idea of hope is the recognition that in Christ is found the fulfillment of the Old Testament promises. Christian hope is rooted in faith in the divine salvation in Christ. Hope of Christians is brought into being through the presence of the promised Holy Spirit. It is the future hope of the resurrection of the dead, the promises given to Israel, the redemption of the body and of the whole creation, eternal glory, eternal life and the inheritance of the saints, the return of Christ, transformation into the likeness of Christ, the salvation of God, or simply Christ Himself.

The certainty of this blessed future is guaranteed through the indwelling of the Spirit, Christ in us, and the resurrection of Christ. Hope is produced by endurance through suffering and is the inspiration behind endurance. Trustworthy promises from God give us hope, and we may boast in this hope and exhibit great boldness in our faith. By contrast, those who do not place their trust in God are said to be without hope.

Along with faith and love, hope is an enduring virtue of the Christian life, and love springs from hope. Hope produces joy and peace in believers through the power of the Spirit. Paul attributes his apostolic calling to the hope of eternal glory. Hope in the return of Christ is the basis for believers to purify themselves in this life.

Straight or gay, hope is one of the essential things we all need to hold on to.  In classical Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on Earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus to create her. So he did, using water and earth. The gods endowed her with many gifts: Athena clothed her, Aphrodite gave her beauty, Apollo gave her musical ability, and Hermes gave her speech.  One day, Pandora opened a jar (usually referred to as a box) containing death and all the evils of the world which were then released into the world. She hastened to close the container, but the whole contents had escaped except for one thing that lay at the bottom – hope.  Hope springs eternal, and it should always be kept in reserve because we need to have hope.

This last week has been a difficult week for me spiritually.  My spirit has been sad and distraught.  Last Sunday, I talked about having faith in God, and while that has not wavered, I have learned that I can lose faith in people.  When you have a great respect for and trust in someone and they betray your respect and trust and prove unworthy of your faith, it made my ideal of faith waiver.  But, I refuse to let it cause my faith in God to waiver.  It is as strong as ever, and my faith in God grows stronger with His gift of hope.

I have hope that Christians who teach with ignorance and misunderstanding, while spreading hate, will finally be awakened by God’s light of love.  It have hope that religious extremist will see that LGBT Christians often have the greatest faith in God.  When evangelicals tell us that God has turned his back on us, hope allows us to have faith that God would never turn His back on us.  Hope allows us to believe that there will be a better day coming for all of us, especially in the LGBT community.  Not all Christians will accept us as an essential and integral part of Christianity, but there will always be false teachers and those who claim that they a carrying out the will of God under mistaken beliefs and are actually carrying out the wishes of Evil.  Hope allows us to look forward to our rightful place in heaven with out King.  So I call on all LGBT Christians to not lose their faith and to keep hope alive.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never is, but always to be blessed:
The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.
Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Moment of Zen: Hot Day, Cold Beer



I can't exactly drink cold beers anymore because they trigger my cluster headaches, but when it's really hot and humid outside only a few things that can quench my thirst: an ice cold beer, a cold Coca-Cola, or a glass of ice water.  Whereas, water or a Coke work well, I do miss a cold beer on occasion though.

Friday, July 10, 2015

The Little Mermaid


Last night, I went with my mother to take my niece to see the Alabama Shakespeare Festival's production of Disney's The Little Mermaid. Above is a picture of the cast practicing "Under the Sea."  The show was fabulous, the men were ripped, the costumes were gorgeous,  the sets fantastic, and the men gorgeous.  After taking my niece home and then my mother home, I got home about 1am, and I was exhausted, so this is a short post.  This production sold out so fast that they had to extend it a few more weeks.  If you are near Montgomery, you really should check it out if you can still get tickets.  However, let me just say that if you are ever in the Montgomery area, Alabama Shakespeare Festival is a must.  Their productions are always top rate, and I've never been disappointed.  Disney's The Little Mermaid was no exception, it was truly fantastic.

While Prince Eric was yummy and Ariel was beautiful, Sebastian and Ursula stole the show.  I'd have given the actors names, but I left the program in my car, and it's late or I'd go get it.  I'll see about adding their names tomorrow.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Cast Down Your Bucket



The Cotton States and International Exposition Speech was an address on the topic of race relations given by Booker T. Washington on September 18, 1895. The speech laid the foundation for the Atlanta compromise, an agreement between African-American leaders and Southern white leaders in which Southern blacks would work meekly and submit to white political rule, while Southern whites guaranteed that blacks would receive basic education and due process of law. One of the most memorable parts was a parable that Washington used:
A ship lost at sea for many days suddenly sighted a friendly vessel. From the mast of the unfortunate vessel was seen a signal,“Water, water; we die of thirst!” The answer from the friendly vessel at once came back, “Cast down your bucket where you are.” A second time the signal, “Water, water; send us water!” ran up from the distressed vessel, and was answered, “Cast down your bucket where you are.” And a third and fourth signal for water was answered, “Cast down your bucket where you are.” The captain of the distressed vessel, at last heeding the injunction, cast down his bucket, and it came up full of fresh, sparkling water from the mouth of the Amazon River. To those of my race who depend on bettering their condition in a foreign land or who underestimate the importance of cultivating friendly relations with the Southern white man, who is their next-door neighbor, I would say: “Cast down your bucket where you are”— cast it down in making friends in every manly way of the people of all races by whom we are surrounded.
“Cast down your bucket where you are” was a phrase that surfaced numerous times throughout Washington's speech. Generally, the phrase had different meanings for whites and blacks. For whites, Washington seemed to be challenging their common misperceptions of black labor. The North had been experiencing labor troubles in the early 1890s (Homestead Strike, Pullman Strike, etc.) and Washington sought to capitalize on these issues by offering Southern black labor as an alternative, especially since his Tuskegee Institute was in the business of training such workers. For blacks, however, the "Bucket motif" represented a call to personal uplift and diligence, as the South needed them to rebuild following the Civil War.
The speech was often derided by opponents who said it was the cornerstone of Washington’s accommodationist philosophy. Washington’s Tuskegee Institute accomplished its task of training African Americans in trades that allowed them to be seen in a better light by southern whites. Washington’s opponent W.E.B. DuBois wanted to push African American equality through the courts and while ultimately this approach worked, it never really changed the hearts and minds of many whites in America. Washington predicted that this would be the case and so he kept his approach, even though it went out of fashion with many African Americans.
In today's America, LGBT rights have been gained not through legislation, but through the courts. Those changes, however, would not have been possible without a major change in the hearts and minds of Americans. LGBT Americans have been come more common on television and in the media. “Will & Grace” changed a lot of perceptions about gay men, and Brokeback Mountain showed the plight and the horrors of forcing people to hide who they are. Matthew Shepherd’s death showed us the consequences of what attitudes of hatred toward gays can lead to. These events have helped he LGBT cause but there is still far to go.
Washington’s speech is something I've often thought about in the context of the issues I've discussed in the last week: moving, disappointment, and deceitful biblical interpretations. You see, for some of us, we have no choice but to cast down our bucket where we are. By staying, we will work in various different ways to change the hearts and minds of those against us, whether we remain closeted or come out. We each have a role to play in making the world a better place. At times, our efforts will lead to disappointments and people we trust will cause us disappointments, but we must persevere. We can not allow setbacks to deter us on our journey to equality. We have marriage equality nationwide, but we need non-discrimination laws nationwide as well.
Lastly, our greatest obstacle is the erroneous use of biblical texts to condemn homosexuality. As long as preachers stand in their pulpits and preach misleading sermons and as long as people use “religious freedom” as an excuse to discriminate, we will not achieve equality. African Americans achieved equality through the courts, but they have yet to achieve full equality in the minds of many Americans. Racism is alive and well, just look at the Charleston shooting. Which has led finally to the downfall of the Confederate battle flag as a symbol of racist heritage. I pray that it will not take the mass death of LGBT Americans before we see the same symbols of hatred in the clobber passages in the Bible that condemn homosexuality. We already see similar instances of religion used to defend hatred in the Middle East areas controlled by ISIS. As long as politicians and ministers spout hatred of homosexuality people will become even more bold in their hatred until they begin to retaliate against the LGBT community. This is why it is so important for us to work in areas where LGBT Americans are least accepted. If we leave these areas, hate wins and if will only grow, but if we stay and they must face us, whether they know our sexuality or not, we have not yet lost the fight.
To my fellow LGBT who depend on bettering their condition in a another place or who underestimate the importance of cultivating friendly relations with Southern Christians and evangelicals, who are their next-door neighbor, I would say: “Cast down your bucket where you are”— cast it down in making friends in every way of the people of all beliefs by whom we are surrounded.  We should not have to run and we should be able to cast down our bucket where we are because in areas like the American South the battle has just begun. To paraphrase the immortal retort of Captain John Paul Jones to a request to surrender as he and his crew engaged in a desperate battle with a British frigate off the northern coast of England during the American Revolution: We have not yet begun to fight!