Chatroom Nostalgia

On August 1 of this year, the last remaining users of Gay.com received a message informing them the site had changed management and that the iconic online chatrooms would “disappear” and all their data would be erased. Forever.

“All the personal information you provided in your profile, including pictures and stories, will be permanently deleted,” the message explained. “Unfortunately, you will not able to retrieve any of your old information. … The dating website as you know it, will not be coming back.”

It was a sad day for gays of a certain age whose teens and 20s were defined by those chatrooms, back before Grindr was a thing, and many of them lamented over the fact that that chapter of their lives, albeit one they hadn’t visited in over a decade, would be closed forever. I remember well the days of AOL and Gay.com chatrooms. They were known for being able to find instant sex, though I can't remember ever actually using it for that, but I do remember getting propositioned. Somehow, I was always more successful with Yahoo Messenger. Anyway, good news, guys! The chatrooms have been restored.

“Chat is back!” the newly revamped Gay.com has just announced. “The new chat rooms are now available but we are in the process of testing them. All users who registered their accounts before Monday 26th of September, 2016 have been given sneak-peak access. If you haven’t already created an account, make sure to register now and reserve your username!”

And as for all of you who were sad to learn your previous usernames and profiles had been deleted forever, we’ve got good new for you, as well.

Gay.com says: “In order to help preserve your identity and any relationships that you may have built up in the previous version of Gay.com, we have taken steps to reserve usernames for their previous owners. Register your new account using the same Username and Email combination and the username will be released to you.”

Of course, the question now is: Now that the chatrooms have been restored, will people actually go back to using them? Or have apps like Grindr and Scruff made online chatrooms obsolete?

Snowflakes

I'm not talking about the precipitation either. I made a remark to a friend of mine that most of the men I've met in Vermont are flakes. His response was that they were snowflakes. Maybe one of these days, I'll find a guy who isn't a total snowflake, I have a prospect or two but for the rest, the verdict is still out.

Speaking of verdicts being out, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore was tried yesterday by the Alabama Court of the Judiciary for ethics violations. You see Moore ordered probate judges to not issue same sex marriage licenses because he believed that Alabama law was more important than a Supreme Court decision. The verdict will be handed down within the next ten days.

Locker Rooms

Few locales inspire more public nudity, towel snapping, sideways glances and general homoeroticism (not to mention shameless selfies) than a men’s locker room. A recent study found that straight men frequently size each other up in the communal showers, and will often “slap their cocks around” to look bigger.

But it’s not just straight guys who get all hot and bothered in the locker room. Gay guys do, too. But for entirely different reasons.

The air in a men’s locker room is thick with androstadienone, a pheromone found in male sweat that’s been scientifically proven to elicit excitement in gay men. So if you ever find yourself sprouting a spontaneous erection the second you’re blasted by the familiar aroma of sweat, soap and testosterone upon stepping through the locker room door, that’s likely why.

Of course, in addition to all that androstadienone, there’s also the eye candy. 

A Dozen Observations

1. Lester Holt lost all control.

2. Why did Donald keep sniffling his nose like a coke addict?

3. Hillary wasn't as smooth with her answers as she should be but neither was Donald.

4. Donald looked like an ass.

5. Why did Donald think it's a good idea to argue with Lester?

6. How can Donald Trump talk about law and order when he can't even follow the rules of the debate?

7. Hillary blew him out of the water on the law and order issue.

8. Donald Trump did better the first 10-15 minutes, but he fell to her bait. She killed it through the debate.

9. Hillary got in a few good zingers. Donald did not.

10. She looked so much more presidential.

11. "She's Got Experience" should be the headline today. (It wouldn't be the first time the media used half a quote).

12. Hillary won that debate hands down.

And because politics can leave a bad taste in your mouth, let's have a look at Hillary's nephew, Tyler Clinton:

Resurrection

Resurrection

By Alison Hawthorne Deming

My friend a writer and scientist

has retreated to a monastery

where he has submitted himself

out of exhaustion to not knowing.

He’s been thinking about

the incarnation a.k.a. Big Bang

after hearing a monk’s teaching

that crucifixion was not the hard part

for Christ. Incarnation was.

How to squeeze all of that

all-of-that into a body. I woke

that Easter to think of the Yaqui

celebrations taking place in our city

the culminating ritual of the Gloria

when the disruptive spirits

with their clacking daggers and swords

are repelled from the sanctuary

by women and children

throwing cottonwood leaves and confetti

and then my mother rose

in me rose from the anguish

of her hospice bed a woman

who expected to direct all the action

complaining to her nurse

I’ve been here three days 

and I’m not dead yet—not ready

at one hundred and two to give up

control even to giving up control.

I helped with the morphine clicker.

Peace peace peace the stilling

at her throat the hazel eye

become a glassy marble. Yet here she is

an Easter irreverent still rising

to dress in loud pastels

and turn me loose

in Connecticut woods to hunt

my basket of marshmallow eggs

jelly beans and chocolate rabbit

there fakeries of nature made vestal

incarnated in their nest of shiny manufactured grass.

Picture Perfect Parts

Softly and Tenderly

Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling, 

calling for you and for me; 

see, on the portals he's waiting and watching, 

watching for you and for me. 

Refrain: 

Come home, come home; 

ye who are weary come home; 

earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling, 

calling, O sinner, come home! 

Why should we tarry when Jesus is pleading, 

pleading for you and for me? 

Why should we linger and heed not his mercies, 

mercies for you and for me? 

(Refrain) 

Time is now fleeting, the moments are passing, 

passing from you and from me; 

shadows are gathering, deathbeds are coming, 

coming for you and for me. 

(Refrain) 

O for the wonderful love he has promised, 

promised for you and for me! 

Though we have sinned, he has mercy and pardon, 

pardon for you and for me. 

(Refrain) 

The other day, a friend of this blog, Lesley, contacted me because she has started a Facebook group for LGBT members of the Churches of Christ (https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheLGBTChurchofChrist/).  She has also started a blog (http://churchofchristlesbian.blogspot.com), which I found to be quite wonderful. In one of her posts she tells about her background and that my blog helped her return to the church because she read my blog posts about the Churches of Christ. Here is what she said:

About that time I was also saying if I found it was okay to be a lesbian and in the Church I would go back and give it my all. I found that answer through some searching and reading. I then asked God if this is the path I was to walk and if so to show me a sign. That morning I went to a service and was given two. In the sermon the preacher said "Pagans run" and I have been my whole life. I was and am tired of running. Then he said, "Come home" and I knew right then that I needed to go back to the Church of Christ.

When I read about coming home, I could only think of the song above. It was composed and written by Will L. Thompson in 1880. Thompson was a member of the Churches of Christ, where several of his hymns and gospel songs continue in use. "Softly and Tenderly" is the most widely known of his compositions and has circulated far beyond its origins in the American Restoration Movement. It is among the most prolifically translated gospel songs and has spread appealingly into the repertoire of various fellowships of Christendom.

Softly and tenderly, Jesus was calling Lesley home. Welcome home ,Lesley. Check out Lesley's blog and feel free to join her Facebook group.

Moment of Zen: Selfies Like This

Monogamy

After all this talk of open relationships and polyamorous love, a new study has just found that younger gay couples are trending toward monogamy once again. At least, according to a new study.

The study, titled “Choices: Perspectives of Younger Gay Men on Monogamy, Non-monogamy and Marriage,” was conduced by researchers Blake Spears and Lanz Lowen. They surveyed over 800 single, monogamously-coupled, and non-monogamously coupled gay men ages 18-40 years about their relationships. A handful of “monogamish” men were also interviewed.

More at: https://www.queerty.com/monogamy-making-comeback-among-younger-gay-couples-study-finds-20160922

Bisexual Awareness Week

Even though roughly half of the LGBT community identifies as bisexual, they’re seldom represented in the media. Nevertheless, more and more millennials are beginning to view themselves as bisexual and sexually fluid. A recent YouGov study discovered that a third of 18-24 year olds in the U.S. and Israel put themselves along a continuum of sexuality, rather than at either end. In the UK, roughly 50% don’t view themselves as 100% gay or straight.

Even though there are a huge number of bisexuals, and the number of bisexual-identifying people is growing, they often feel invisible. They often feel alone.

This feeling of isolation contributes to a slew of mental health issues that highly correlate with bisexuality. Bisexuals have high rates of depression, suicidality, self-harm, smoking and alcohol abuse, and intimate-partner violence. Recent data from a Human Rights Campaign study revealed that bisexual youth are less likely than lesbian and gay youth to feel there’s a supportive adult they can talk to.

These feelings of isolation also keep bisexuals closeted because they don’t feel as if they have a bi community. They don’t think people will accept us. It's estimated that only 28% of bisexuals come out. Research from Dr. Eric Schrimshaw of Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health revealed that most bisexual men know their sexuality. Their reasons for not disclosing it don't arise from confusion, but rather they don’t come out because they fear rejection from their partners and ostracization from their families and communities.

Bisexuals face additional hardships that monosexuals (either gay or straight) don't experience. The only way to change this is through visibility. This is why this week—Bisexual Awareness Week—is so important. This is why bi-visibility matters. This is why it’s crucial that bisexuals come out as often and to as many people as we can. Not only will your decision to come out create more visibility for others, you will also start to meet other bi folks, and can become an integral member of the bisexual community. So please, come out and share you story. Let’s make it easier for the next, growing generation of bisexuals to be out, comfortable, and proud of who they are.

By the way, Celebrate Bisexuality Day is observed tomorrow on September 23 by members of the bisexual community and their supporters. This day is a call for the bisexual community, their friends and supporters to recognize and celebrate bisexuality, bisexual history, bisexual community and culture, and all the bisexual people in their lives. First observed in 1999, Celebrate Bisexuality Day is the brainchild of three United States bisexual rights activists: Wendy Curry of Maine, Michael Page of Florida, and Gigi Raven Wilbur of Texas.

Adapted from an Out Magazine article.