Sunday, June 12, 2011


I know as gay men, many of us may fetishize a particular attire.  Some love a man in uniform: a soldier, a police officer, or a fireman.  Others may like an athlete: football, lacrosse, wrestler, baseball, etc.  Some men like a man in a suit or tuxedo, while others may prefer less dressy cowboy or farmhand look.  What is your preference?  Do you have one?  And don’t be shy, we probably all have one, so speak up.

soldierI will go first.  Though I love uniforms, and I think that soldiers and firemen are very sexy (French and Italian police officers are drop dead gorgeous—I think it is a requirement), I also love a man in a baseball uniform.  All of these have one thing in common, they tend to show off the man’s butt.  However, I always tend to have a thing for waiters and baristas.  Part of that is probably that they tend to flirt to get a good tip.  A waitress has to provide great service to get a larger than normal tip from me, but a hot waiter who flirts just a little, well he will get a great tip every time. And I think it goes without saying that in America, a lot of the waiters are gay, and many will use that to their advantage with other gay men.  I remember this one waiter, whose name was Michael, and a group of my friends and I used to call him the Archangel Michael, because only an angel could be that beautiful.  And he was: great body, fine ass, a head full of blond hair, and piercing blue eyes.  He could have been the worst waiter imaginable (he actually was pretty good), but you wanted him to wait on you just so you could have his attention, not to mention that you could stare at his butt when he walked away from your table.

coffeeHowever, my last two service industry crushes have been Starbucks baristas.  The first one is tall and slender with dark hair and eyes, and he is always eager to chat.  He always treats you like an old friend when you come in, and as many times as I have been in there, he knows exactly what I am going to order and starts it as soon as he sees me and asks me if I will be having my usual.  He knows that I am a teacher and always asks about how my classes are going, , etc.  I’ve never been in there that he didn’t have a smile on his face.  Lately, because of time constraints with teaching high school during the day and college at night, I have been going to the Starbucks that is closer to campus. Lo and behold there is another cutie there.  This one is shorter, with dark brown hair, and the most gorgeous and captivating blue eyes that you have ever seen which are accentuated by long beautiful eye lashes.  He always is a little bit scruffy, never a full beard, but not clean shaven either. He not tall like the other guy, but is just below average height and cute as a button. 

starbuckscupsI go to Starbucks every time before my evening class, to the extent that my night class students in the Fall pooled together and gave me a Starbucks gift card for my birthday. (They also brought cupcakes and were an exceptional group of students—btw, they never curry favor with me by giving me those things, and they know it.)  I feel like I have been cheating on my old Starbucks guy recently with my new one.  Grant it, there is nothing going on except flirtations with either one, and they don’t know it but they usually make my day when I go in.  So with the old Starbucks guy (and I’m not talking in age here), I never was sure if he was gay or just very friendly.  He did wear designer belts and shoes with his Starbucks uniform of black pants/shorts and white shirt.  Where I live, you don’t see many straight men wear D&G belts.  But other than his accessories, he has never given me an indication one way or another.  However, with the new Starbucks guy, there is no doubt. He is gay.  Mike Mongeau 028bHe is not effeminate, but he makes the gaydar go off with just the inflections of his voice and mannerisms.  It also helps that the other day when I was in there he was talking about a movie and said of one of the actors: “He’s so pretty.”

There are several things that I was thinking about as I was planning this post.  The first thing was fetishes about uniform and profession.  Again, what is your preference? Do you have a particular type of uniform or profession that gives you tingling feeling in your nether regions?  Does a certain part of you want to stand at attention when you see a soldier standing at attention?  Is a passing desire for a hot guy really because of his uniform or is it just that he is hot?

gaydar2The second thing is whether or not gaydar is real?  Can we really identify one another because of mutual attraction? inflections of his voice and mannerisms? animal instinct? noticing the way a man looks at another man v. how he looks at a woman?  I think these are all things that make up our “gaydar.”  What do you think makes up our gaydar?  Or, do you even believe in gaydar?


Mack said...

I can't explain it, but gaydar's totally a real thing. I'm bi and I can still totally spot it a mile off, even closeted guys. I think we're just tuned in and know what to look for.
As for uniforms, I can't think of which ones I find a turn on. Police and military guys usually have pissed me off enough, that I can't get past their attitudes. The barista's actually a pretty good one.

WranglerMan said...

Uniforms are a big turn-on for me. Love a guy in a police or military uniform. But a sports kit is the biggest turn on for me.

As for Gaydar, yes and no. There have been times, when I've been completely wrong about a guy. But if you take the time to observe a man's idiosyncrasies, i.e. the lingering look, how he interacts with you, and what not, you can tell which side of his trousers he dresses on.

fan of casey said...

Joe: I think gaydar is real but obviously some fly underneath it. Clothes and mannerisms are a give away and lingering looks and touches also hint. But some guys really are very S8 acting so those are tough to spot.

Effeminate heteros are false positives, perhaps a little too obvious.

I agree with you that service providers are wonderful flirts sometimes.

JoeBlow said...

Guys, I agree that I think gaydar is real, but it can also be a bit tricky.

Mack, I live in a military town (and where I used to live was a military town too), so I can understand the military guys pissing you off. They tend to cause a lot of bar fights, and the same about the police, but I still sometimes find their uniforms hot.

WranglerMan, you're a man after my own heart, LOL.

FOC, yeah, they know how to get a good tip, LOL.

Dmitri said...

I live down South, and the rednecks are so intensely closeted that my gaydar fails every time. There are a great many straight men down here that give off gay vibes, but that, too, can be confused with too much church and good manners.

Last week I was reading a scientific article that concludes that gaydar is real, due to the fact that most gay men have slightly different vowel pronunciations. This doesn't hold true for gay women, though.

JoeBlow said...

Dmitri, did you grow up in the South or move here? I've lived in the South my whole life, and I agree, the rednecks can throw off the gaydar. I think we have to just observe their interactions with others to know for sure. BTW, I read the same article about gaydar and the fact that most gay men have slightly different vowel pronunciations. It was actually in my list of articles to look more into for a future post. I found that article to be both disturbing and fascinating at the same time.