Broadening the Mind

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

—Mark Twain

The above quote by Mark Twain emphasizes the transformative power of travel in broadening one’s perspective and combating ignorance, prejudice, and narrow-mindedness. Travel exposes people to different cultures, customs, and ways of thinking, which challenges preconceived notions, stereotypes, and biases. It fosters empathy and understanding by showing the diversity and complexity of human experiences.

Twain acknowledges that many individuals remain confined to their limited worldviews because they have not had the opportunity—or the inclination—to step outside their familiar surroundings. He suggests that travel could help these individuals overcome their prejudices. By encountering different perspectives and lifestyles, travelers develop a more inclusive, kind, and generous attitude toward others. This openness leads to a deeper appreciation of humanity’s shared values and differences.

Remaining in a single place or within a single worldview limits personal growth and understanding. Twain suggests that staying in a “bubble” leads to stagnation, whereas exploration brings enlightenment and growth. In essence, Twain is advocating for travel as a means to expand one’s mind, challenge ignorance, and promote a more compassionate and inclusive outlook on life.

I have not had much of a chance to travel recently because I am not counting going back to Alabama for the holidays or traveling to conferences for work. I would love to get away and spend a few days in Montreal or go on another gay retreat like the one I went to a few years ago at Easton Mountain. When the weather gets warmer, I would love to visit Ogunquit, Maine, or Provincetown, Massachusetts, both towns known for LGBTQ+ tourists, with numerous LGBTQ+-owned and -operated hotels, restaurants, and bars. I haven’t taken a gay themed vacation in a while and would love for the chance to do so. Of course, I wish I could take a trip to Europe, but I definitely can’t afford to cross the Atlantic, but a boy can dream.


I have not posted an Isabella picture of the week in a couple of weeks, so here you go:

Moment of Zen: Home​ward Bound

Really, this is the most important reason that I’m ready to be back home:

Going Home Tomorrow

I’m thankful I got to spend time with family, if only because I can tell how bad my mother’s dementia is getting. I want to be able to see her while she’s still doing relatively good, even though I can see the decline. We watched as her father slipped into dementia and that was hard enough, but this is my mama. She may have her faults, but no matter what, she’s still the woman who gave birth to me.

My father has actually been on good behavior. I still have another day to go here, so hopefully I’m not jinxing it, but he hasn’t started an argument with me over some perceived slight, which is usually what he does. If I can make it one more day, then I’ll be on my way home. 

I’ll fly back to Vermont tomorrow afternoon. I’m ready to be back home with Isabella and sleeping in my own bed. I have a two hour layover in Atlanta and should arrive back in Vermont just before midnight, as long as there are no unforeseen delays. As it is, the trip back will put me getting home at about 1am Sunday morning. Tomorrow will be a long day, but I least I should be home at the end of it.

Going Home

I’m about to start getting ready for my day. I have conference stuff this morning including a field trip to a museum, then we will hit the road to head home. I can’t wait to see Isabella. She’ll probably spend the first hour telling me how displeased she was that I was gone and how happy she is that I am back. She’ll demand attention and lots of petting. I can’t wait. I love that little girl. It’s going to be a long day. It’s been a long week with a lot of disappointment, but the week is almost over. I’ll be back home soon, but for now, I need to take a shower and get ready for my day.

Even with the disappointment I know we have all felt this week, try and have a wonderful weekend! I’m taking a friend car shopping tomorrow, and it will be so nice spending the day with her.

Travel Week

I’ll be at the museum today. I have to go to the dentist first to get a permanent crown to replace the temporary crown that I got a few weeks ago. After that, I will be at the museum. I have a few meetings and a few things to wrap up before I am out of the office for the rest of the week. I leave tomorrow for a museum conference in Newport, Rhode Island. I’m looking forward to this conference because I have always wanted to go to Newport. The city is most known for its Gilded Age mansions built by many of the nation's wealthiest families as summer “cottages.” Newport is described in Edith Wharton’s novel The Age of Innocence, was featured often in the A&E Network television show America’s Castles, and most recently a summer vacation setting in the HBO series The Gilded Age. I will have tomorrow afternoon to explore the city before the conference officially begins on Wednesday. I already bought tickets to see The Breakers, a Renaissance Revival mansion, and Marble House, a Beaux Arts mansion, which were both built by the Vanderbilt family. As part of the conference, I will also be visiting a couple of museums in the area and listening to a lot of presentations.

By the way, if you are wondering, I have a neighbor coming to check on Isabella, and I have some cameras set up so I can check in on her. My neighbor checks on her food, makes sure her self-cleaning litter box is not stuck, and plays with her a little bit. I don’t have him feed her the wet food she likes because she won’t eat it if anyone besides me feeds her. I’m not sure why she is so finicky about who feeds her, but it’s a waste of the wet food to try to feed her. She’ll get wet food and lots of love when I get home. She doesn’t like being by herself and is always very happy to see me when I get home. I wish I could take her with me, but that’s not feasible. She’ll be fine, and I can check on her to make sure everything is okay.

* * * * *

Also, please go vote BLUE tomorrow if you haven’t voted already. I cast my ballot last week since I would not be here to vote tomorrow in person. Even if you are in a state where the result is a foregone conclusion Kamala Harris needs every vote she can get. She not only needs to win the Electoral College but also enough individual votes to provide definitive proof that she won. Trump will declare victory regardless, but the proof needs to be indisputable. We cannot let a wannabe fascist back in the White House. It’s also not enough to just vote BLUE for president, but we need to win majorities in both houses of Congress.

Flooding

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of major flooding in Vermont. Also yesterday, the remnants of Hurricane Beryl came through Vermont, and we are once again dealing with widespread flooding. For the most part, it doesn’t seem as bad as last year; however, in the small town where I live has three bridges washed out. Last year, my town was lucky and did not have the flood damage seen in much of the state, but all roads leading out of town were closed for several days due to flooding.

According to the local news and the Vermont Department of Transportation, my usual route to work is closed this morning due to “multiple washouts.” I have an alternate route that is currently not closed (as far as I know) though it was closed last year due to flooding. So, it looks like I’ll be able to get to work. Rest assured, I will be careful, and I will not drive through water over the road way. If it looks sketchy, I will not risk it. 

It’s amazing that exactly one year later, we are experiencing some of the same flooding as before. Anyone who does not believe in global warming and its impact needs only to look at places like Vermont. Floods used to be rare in Vermont, now they are yearly. Hurricanes and their remnants rarely reach Vermont, yet we’ve seen major flooding numerous times over the past year alone. July and December of last year and July again this year saw major flooding in areas of Vermont.

This Weather Sucks!

I am packing this morning for my trip. I’d have liked to have packed last night, but circumstances prevented it. With the wet heavy snow we have gotten in the last 36 hours (more than a foot of snow), I lost power at my apartment. I have emergency lamps to use and some candles, but I had hoped the electricity would be back on by this morning. It’s been out for nearly 24 hours, and there no estimated time for repairs. I have to go pick up my rental car between 10:30 and 11 am (the university requires we use rental cars for longer trips), so I’ll get packed and head out in a bit. I hate leaving Isabella here without electricity, but a neighbor will check in her, and I’ll be sure she has plenty of food and water. I’ll be back on Sunday. Surely, we will have power by then. I hope we have electricity back before I have to leave. Nothing is going as planned.

Heading Home

I’m so glad that I’ll be going back home today. I’ve enjoyed this conference (except for the one session yesterday in which I found the woman incredibly insulting). I like getting together with people I don’t get to see often, meeting new people, making new connections, and visiting a place I’ve never been before. I enjoy learning new techniques and strategies to better do my job. Yet, I’m still ready to be home. 

I usually enjoy staying in hotel rooms, and while this one was mostly fine, I’ve stayed in better and more comfortable hotels. So, I’m ready to see Isabella, sleep in my own bed, and enjoy the comfort of my own home. It will be a long day today. I have sessions all morning, a luncheon to attend this afternoon, and a 3+ hour drive home. I’m sure I’ll be exhausted when I get home, but at least I’ll be home.

Now, I smell the bacon cooking downstairs. I can’t believe that on the 7th floor I can still smell the bacon cooking all the way up here, but then I have a very sensitive nose. That being said, I’m hungry, so I plan to shower and get ready for the day, then head down for breakfast.

Not Sleeping In

I’m in Portland, Maine, this week. You would think that without Isabella, I might be able to sleep in a bit, but no, my body is so used to waking up between 4 am and 5 am that I still woke at the same time (I may take a “nap” before I go down to meet my colleague for breakfast.

This is my first time in Maine. I’ve been to all of the other New England states, except Maine, so I can now cross that off my list. My colleague had to be in Kennebunkport yesterday afternoon, so I dropped her off and drove into Portland to familiarize myself with where our hotel is and have lunch. I had some really good Thai food. There are a surprising number of Thai restaurants in this city.

I decided that I’d go back to Kennebunkport to wait for my colleague to finish her event. I’d planned to visit a few museums, but yesterday was Election Day and the one museum that was open is next to the town hall, so there was no convenient parking. I decided that while here, I’d drive to the beach. There were signs everywhere for “Beaches,” so that’s what I did. I’ll be honest, East Coast beaches are not that beautiful when compared to the beaches along the Gulf of Mexico where I grew up going to the beach. However, while it may not have been sugar white beaches, it was nice. I enjoyed smelling the salt air and hearing the crashing of the waves.

Parsons Beach, Maine

Quick Trip

I have to make a quick trip down to Boston and back today. It’s a three hour drive down there. I have a meeting to attend, then I’ll be driving back. I may stay and have dinner just to try and avoid Friday rush hour traffic out of Boston. It’s supposed to be a beautiful, sunny day for a drive. I much prefer driving on sunny weather than in rain. With a sunny day also comes heat. It’s supposed to be 90 degrees in Boston today, whereas here in Vermont, it’s supposed to be 83 degrees. No matter what, it’s going to be hot, and it’s going to feel hotter because of the humidity. Weather, travel time, etc…I hope this will be a productive meeting. 

Summer Splash

If you are a regular reader, then you know that I grew up in rural Alabama in a very religious family. When I was growing up, I didn't know any gay people, and being gay was an abstract concept. I knew that being gay meant that it referred to men who liked other men in a sexual way. I also knew it was very bad. I had been called faggot, gay, sissy, etc., all my years growing up. I knew I didn't belong or fit into that world. I was different, but it would take many years before I could let myself realize that I was, in fact, gay. It took longer to come to terms with accepting who I was. But while I never belonged in the straight world, I never felt like I belonged in the gay world either. Honestly, I never felt I was accepted in either.

I have tried since I moved to Vermont to step out of my comfort zone and become part of the gay community here, but I still feel like I never fit in. I wasn't in great shape; I was shy; and, let's face it, I was awkward. I tried to venture more into the gay community here and there, but I just never seemed to be comfortable enough to succeed, and it wasn't like anyone was trying to help. I've never had gay friends other than a few guys that I dated and friends I met through this blog. So, when I came across information about a gay retreat center called Easton Mountain, just a few hours away in Greenwich, NY, I was interested in knowing more. Their website says their programs promote connection, personal growth, fun, and community. Eventually, I got up the nerve to book one of their retreats: "Summer Splash: Move Into Your Primal Self."

I'd never done anything like this before. I had gone to gay events and bars by myself, but never a retreat like this. Things have been a little rough lately. There are some issues at work and some personal issues. I needed a break. I needed a retreat away from my life. So, I decided, "what the hell" I'll try something that will push my boundaries and help me step out of my comfort zone. From the description of this weekend, not to mention the affordability as a first-timer (they have a special newbie rate), I decided this one was the one. I was going to take the plunge and go with the flow and see what happens.

When I arrived at Easton Mountain on Thursday, I was nervous but determined to make the most of my little vacation. I was ready to step out of my comfort zone, but when I got there, checked in, and began meeting people, I realized I could not step out of my comfort zone. I was in my comfort zone at Easton Mountain. That's not to say I did things that I would not have been comfortable with the day before, but the community there made me feel safe and included. There was no judgment, just a welcoming attitude from everyone (if there was any judgment, people kept it to themselves and didn't let it show). Each person there, whether staff or visitors like me, made me feel like part of a community. Everyone was welcoming and accepting.

The activities over the weekend were great, and each one put you more and more at ease. Everything was optional (even clothing, LOL). We weren't forced to participate in any of the workshops or events. I did opt out of a few things, particularly morning yoga. I did yoga on the first morning and realized it was not for me. Mostly though, I participated in as much as I could, even though I might have thought something was a bit silly when I first read about it, but I never really felt silly, and if I did, it was because we were meant to feel silly. There was a camaraderie among gay men at Easton that I'd never experienced anywhere else. I think we all know what it's like to go to a gay event, a drag show, a celebration, whatever, and there were little cliques, and if you were not in that clique, you probably never would be. The gay community can be very exclusive at times. Easton, though, was very different. I've never felt anything that was so inclusive.

And the icing on the cake was that the food was phenomenal, and the dinner conversations were great. It did not matter who I sat with, we were going to laugh and chat and have a good time eating our delicious meals. If you ever go, I really hope they do the barbecue rib dinner. It was so good, and the homemade barbecue sauce was exceptional.

If you ever want to experience something like this, I would really recommend Easton Mountain. There is an instant feeling of community there. As everyone was leaving, people went around and hugged everyone they met. When I told staff members goodbye, they all hugged me and said they hoped I'd come back. At any other place, I would think they just wanted the repeat business, but with Easton, it really seemed like they really want you to come. When you go to an Easton Mountain event, you become part of the Easton Mountain family, and for me, I can't wait to go back. Will I go back? I'm not sure. I want to, but at this point in my financial life, I'm not sure I will be able to. With that being said, the prices are very reasonable. Where else are you going to find a vacation where food, lodging, and such a welcoming environment for basically $200 a day. I certainly can't go to Montreal for that or basically anywhere else. But, like a lot of people, money is tight at the moment.

Honestly, as I was driving away, I had tears in my eyes. I wish I never had to leave, but it's back to the real world today. I really do hope I get back to Easton sooner rather than later. I can't recommend it enough. Don't expect 5-star resort accommodations, but expect good food, good friends, and comfortable accommodations. I really don't think you'd be disappointed. Maybe I will see you there sometime.

Easton Mountain gets ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️  from me.

Primal Nature

The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.

—Dean Ornish

 

I’m leaving on my retreat today. I thought this quote was somewhat apropos for the type of retreat I am going to. The retreat is designed to disconnect from social norms and reconnect with nature. We will be engaging in workshops like art, body movement, and photography, as well as rituals, trance dance, and fire ceremony. I really need this getaway, and I am going to make the most of it.

Weekend Retreat

I have realized that I need to get away. I have not taken a vacation just for me in nearly four years, i.e., before the pandemic. I have had so much on my mind recently, and it has not been good for me. I am thinking of going to a gay men’s retreat for a weekend in June. Have any of you ever visited Easton Mountain Retreat in Greenwich, NY? If you have, let me know what you think. It is described as:

Easton Mountain is a community, retreat center, and sanctuary created by gay men as a gift to the world. Through workshops, programs, and events, we provide opportunities to celebrate, heal, transform, and integrate body, mind, and spirit. We offer our land, rich in beauty and wisdom, as a home to a community that extends beyond the land. We are a worldwide fellowship of people enriched by our connection to Easton Mountain. This fellowship is a force for positive change in the world. Read More

Their Summer Splash Weekend is billed as a weekend to “get out of your mind.” Here is an excerpt from the description: “This weekend, we invite you to come to Easton Mountain to get out of your mind, to stop using your brain’s logic, forget about social standards and stop using words to try to understand the beauty of being a human and explore the primal self.” Honestly, this sounds like something I desperately need right now.

 

Although I know myself well enough to realize I will be nervous going to something like this and knowing no one else there, maybe, that is exactly what I need. The whole thing sounds fun and liberating. I need to get out of my head. One of the workshops is “The Liberating Power of Pride,” a reflective discussion focusing on what pride means, what it means to liberate ourselves from heteronormativity, and discover who we are as gay men in the world today. As someone who took a long time to be comfortable in my own skin as a gay man, and something I still struggle with, maybe this will be a bit therapeutic.

 

I need to learn to be more confident as a gay man. I worry too much about what others think of me or if I am going to accidentally offend or annoy someone. I do not expect a weekend gay men’s retreat is going to give me the self-esteem I need or to make me comfortable in my own body and show the world my true self. All of that takes much longer than three days. I have been working on it all my life, and I don’t think we ever fully reach it since we will always be our own worst enemies.

 

Furthermore, where else am I going to get an all-inclusive weekend away for just a few hundred bucks. I’d love to go up to Montreal, but that gets expensive, as is any number of other possibilities around here. What I know, though, is that I need to do something for myself. I spend too much time worrying about things that are beyond my control, feeling guilty for things that I either did not do or couldn’t do anything about.

 

So, if anyone has ever been to one of the weekend retreats at Easton Mountain, please let me know what you thought.

Homecation

It's nice to have a vacation away from work. I say vacation from work because this is not really a vacation where I am going anywhere, nor is it much of a staycation since I haven't been able to see some of the things I'd love to see here in Vermont. Because of the rain (and the migraines that come with it), so far, it's been a homecation. It's nice, though, having nothing pressing that needs doing and just being lazy on the couch with Isabella sleeping nearby and watching some TV. Speaking of Isabella, she hasn't really let me sleep in. She's used to me being up around 5 am, so she gets pretty antsy if I don't get up. However, because of nothing to do, I can take a nap whenever I want. While most of the time, I enjoy having something to do; sometimes, it's nice to just do nothing and (do my best) to worry about nothing.

It's supposed to rain all day today, but Thursday and Friday have no rain in the forecast, though it is supposed to be cloudy. However, Saturday and Sunday look like sunny days. I hope that I am able to get out and do a little hiking. I may even head down to Quechee Gorge, i.e., "Vermont's Little Grand Canyon," and do some hiking there. It should be pretty spectacular right now with the amount of rain plus the snow melt from the mountains, the rivers are full, and the waters are rushing over the rocks. I suspect it's quite beautiful at Quechee, with the white water rushing down the gorge instead of the usual lazy stream that runs through it. Or, instead of going down to Quechee, I might stay close and hike along the Winooski River or one of the other local rivers instead. We'll see.

Quechee Gorge
"Vermont's Little Grand Canyon" 

On the Road Again

I’m driving back to Vermont today. This trip has not been as bad as I’d feared it could have been. The workshop was actually very interesting, and I met some very nice people. The hotel wasn’t great. For a Hilton, it was badly lacking with elevators that didn’t always work and terrible customer service. However, I did have a few good meals, and one truly awful one.

I’ll be glad to be back home with Isabella. I miss her when I’m gone, and I know she misses me. I’m not looking forward to this drive, but I’ve got some audiobooks to listen to, and if I time things just right, maybe the traffic won’t be too bad.

And I also want to wish my friend Susan a very happy birthday. 🎂 ​

The Gondolier

The Gondolier

by Ruby Archer

 

Hark to the gondolier singing,

Dreamily, dreamily singing,

Ever guiding our languid gondola

Out on the fair lagoon.

 

Lo, how the pigeons are winging,

Airily, airily winging,

Blending coos in our idle revery

Out on the fair lagoon.

 

Now is the gondolier calling,

Warningly, warningly calling;

Hark—the answer—from turning shadowy,

Where the dark waters wind.

 

Now we emerge in a glory,

Radiant, radiant glory;

Campanile and dome rise magical

Out of the Grand Canal.

 

Every wall has a story,

Passionate, passionate story,—

O'er the song of the gondolier hovering,

Out on the Grand Canal.

 

Gardens above us are leaning,

Drowsily, drowsily leaning;

Never water and sky so heavenly,

Sung by a gondolier.

 

Ever and aye in our dreaming,

Far-away, far-away dreaming,

We'll remember this golden Italy,

Sung by a gondolier.

 

 

About 15 years ago, I was doing research in Italy for my dissertation. I was able to spend a month traveling Italy (Rome, Florence, and Venice), and it was a trip I will never forget for many reasons. It was the first time I had ever traveled on my own. I remember the beauty and food of Rome and the amazing Vatican City with St. Peter’s Basilica and the Vatican Museums. I wondered through the Cimitero Acattolico (Non-Catholic Cemetery) of Rome, often referred to as the Cimitero dei protestanti (Protestant Cemetery) looking at the famous graves of Americans who had traveled to Italy in the nineteenth century. 

 

In Florence, I remember the festive atmosphere of the Piazza della Repubblica, the gold merchants on the Ponte Vecchio, the splendor of the Duomo, and the wonders of the storied museums such as the Uffizi Gallery with Sandro Botticelli’s Primavera and The Birth of Venus and the Accademia with Michelangelo's David. I walked the streets where American artists had walked more than a century before. I visited the English Cemetery and made friends with the strange but infinitely interesting custodian of the cemetery, the medieval scholar Julia Bolton Holloway, formerly a nun of the Anglican order Community of the Holy Family and scholar of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, who is buried in the cemetery.

 

Then I went to Venice, which was cold and damp, and I caught a terrible cold. The city, however, is magical. The canals and the grand palazzos that line it are breathtaking. The gaudy but fascinating Basilica di San Marco and the pink and seemingly austere Doge’s Palace with the Scala d'Oro, the Golden Staircase, and the Ponte dei Sospiri, the Bridge of Sighs. I remember taking a vaporetto to the Lido with a group of nuns sitting in front of me laughing and seeming to have the greatest time as they were sprayed by the waters of the Lagoon while we bounced over the waves.

 

These were all great memories, but what will always warm my heart is the thought of seeing the gondolieri in their blue or red striped tops, red neckerchiefs, wide-brimmed straw hats, and dark pants. In movies you often see an older man guiding the gondolas down the canal as lovers cuddle in the traditional, flat-bottomed rowing boat holding their rowing oar to guide the gondola down the canals. I did not see many old men as gondolieri, but mostly beautiful young men like those in the picture above or the one below who I became enamored with and had to take his picture.

About the Poet

 

Ruby Archer (Ruby Archer Doud or Ruby Archer Gray) was born in Kansas City, Missouri on January 28, 1873, and died in Los Angeles on January 23, 1961. She was an American poet, educated at Kansas City High School and by private tutors. She was married to Dr. Frank Newland Doud on March 27, 1910, and later to Benjamin Franklin Gray. She contributed poems, translations from French and German dramas and lyrics, and prose articles on art, architecture, music, Biblical literature, philosophy, etc. to papers and magazines.

Back at Home

I’m back at home with Isabella. I got back around 12:30 am, got settled in, spent a little time with Isabella, and went to bed.

Homeward Bound 🤞

My flight out of Montgomery is supposed to leave around 2:30. If all goes well, I should land in Burlington by 11 pm, which means I probably won’t get home until well after midnight. I have no doubt that I will be exhausted by the time I get home, but I will ge glad to get to see Isabella in the flesh. I have a camera set up so I can check in on her, but she doesn’t know that. I don’t try to speak to her through the camera, even though I could. The last time I tried that, it upset her and me because I could hear her crying trying to find me. 

I’m ready to be out of Alabama and back in Vermont. This trip, more than any before has cemented in me that Vermont is home. Alabama no longer is, and I am perfectly fine with that. I’m just ready to be home.

Alabama

I made it down here. God help me! I’m trying not to let them drive me crazy. As soon as we got to my parents’ house, I went straight to bed, although apparently they don’t understand that somebody is trying to sleep. They were watching tv and talking away. However, I was just too tired to let it keep me awake.

The orthopedist’s office finally called about my hand, but not until I was somewhere in the air between Burlington and Washington, DC. I had about a two hour layover, so I was able to call them back. I ended up playing phone tag with them until I was finally able to talk to someone. I have an appointment on the day after I get back to Vermont.

Back in a Week

I’m flying down to Alabama today. I have limited internet access at my parents house, and my cellphone barely works, if it works at all. They live too far from civilization for my taste. However, that’s where I’ll be until next Thursday (12/29). I have scheduled “Pics of the Day” through Christmas, but as for daily posts, they may be a bit sporadic, if I can post at all. I will try to post some while I’m gone, but if I don’t, know that I’m okay. I may have to get on here just to rant bit or tell something funny that happened. Right now, I’m looking forward to one thing: eating at my favorite Mexican restaurant tonight. 

🎄HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!🎄