Tuesday, May 31, 2016

He would not stay for me, and who can wonder

He would not stay for me, and who can wonder
A. E. Housman, 1859 - 1936

He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?
  He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.
I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,
  And went with half my life about my ways.

Monday, May 30, 2016


I had great fun in Montreal. On Saturday, I walked St. Catherine Street and did some shopping and explored the Gay Village. That evening, I met our blog friend JiEL at Sky bar where we had a pitcher of Sangria before he took me on a more extensive tour of the Gay Village. We stopped in a bar called Campus where there were nude dancers (lots of fun). Then we headed to dinner at Toro Rosso, which was one of the best meals I've ever had. I had the linguine pescatore and it was delicious. After dinner we went back to Campus where they were having the Best Butt of 2016 contest. Brandon Jones, the model above, was the host for the evening. I personally think he has a pretty nice butt, but there were some fine ones on display. Afterwards, I was a little naughty and got a lap dance from one of the dancers we'd seen perform. I will not go into detail on that one, except to say that it was a lot of fun.

Yesterday was Montreal Museum Day, where many of the museums were free and open to the public.  After visiting Basilica Notre-Dame, I went to the Museum of Archeology and History. I realized that the museums were very crowded, so I didn't try for any others. Instead, I found a place for brunch. I won't say that the brunch was anything to write home about, but the Bloody Mary I had was fantastic. If I had known what a Bloody Caesar was, I might have tried one, but I stuck with a Bloody Mary.  My feet were aching, so I headed back to my room to rest for a little while and put up my feet before heading out to Oasis Sauna. The sauna had lots of eye candy, but I'm not sure it was for me.

I know it may sound like I was a little wild and naughty on this trip, but sometimes you just have to let your hair down and try some new experiences. Needless to say, I had a blast.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Transgender Theology

This is interesting logic, but I’m not convinced that logic, faith, and religion go hand in hand. However, I think she is 100 percent correct when she says, “They shout about God not making mistakes, as if God only works in binaries and anything falling outside of black and white cannot be from him. But we don’t have a black and white God; creation is so full of color and variation that it’s incomprehensible how we Christians struggle to pare him down to the limited palette of our individual expectations.” God created a rainbow of people with a rainbow of personalities and sexualities. There are definitely a few things in the Bible that are black and white, such as in Matthew 22:36-40 (NRSV):

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

Jesus is pretty clear with these words and it’s something many Christians forget. On other things he is less clear, but what “Christians” who worry about bathroom access forget is what Paul said in Galatians 3:28 “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” (emphasis added)

Jesus: The First Transgender Man

The current flap in conservative Christian circles about bathroom access is a bit baffling. They shout about God not making mistakes, as if God only works in binaries and anything falling outside of black and white cannot be from him. But we don’t have a black and white God; creation is so full of color and variation that it’s incomprehensible how we Christians struggle to pare him down to the limited palette of our individual expectations.

The worst offenders are the Christian’s who claim to take the Bible literally. Of course they don’t actually do that; they impose their own filters on stories and phrases to fit their particular ideology. If they really did as they claim to do, they would quickly see that Jesus must be, by their own exegetical rules, the first transgender male.

Let’s take a look at what the Bible and Christianity tell us.

The teaching of the church from ancient days through today is that Jesus received his fleshly self from Mary. The church also teaches that Jesus is the new Adam, born of the new Eve.

Now Eve is a fascinating creature for many reasons. The Bible tells us she is the first example of human cloning, which I touched on in this post. But the fun doesn’t stop there. If we take the Genesis account in it’s literal meaning, as conservative Christians demand that we do, she is also the first case of a transgender woman. God reached into Adam, pulled out a bit of rib bone, and grew Eve from that XY DNA into Adam’s companion. She was created genetically male, and yet trans-formed into woman.

Then along comes Jesus and the whole pattern is both repeated and reversed. The first couple’s refusal to cooperate is turned around by Mary’s yes, and the second act of cloning occurs. The Holy Spirit comes upon the second Eve, and the child takes flesh from her and is born. Born of her flesh. Born with XX chromosome pairing. Born genetically female, and yet trans-formed into man.

States that do not support trans persons’ right to choose the restroom that fits their identity demand that bathroom usage be based on a person’s “biological sex.” One can imagine a future in which state licences require not only a vision test, but also a genetic test so that bouncers proofing at bathroom doors have something tangible to review. And that means that if Jesus and Eve were walking around today, perhaps shopping at the mall for a Father’s Day gift, they’d have to swap restrooms. Now Jesus could surely manage to finesse his way around a woman’s room, but poor Eve…

A quick look at the dictionary for the prefix “trans” tells us that it means “across,” “beyond,” “through,” and “changing thoroughly,” all of which are great terms for the person of Christ. He cuts across all boundaries. He is beyond our understanding. He is through all and in all. He changes us thoroughly into new creations.

In his person, and in his salvific actions, Jesus is truly the first and forever trans man.

The man above is bodybuilder and model Ben Melzer went down in history as the first transgender man to appear on the cover of a European men’s fitness magazine.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Moment of Zen: Québécois

From what I've seen, there are some hot looking men in Montreal. Thank God for those French genes.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Solo Vacation

I was trying to think if I'd ever gone on vacation by myself before. Only one time comes to mind, but it wasn't a vacation but a research trip. About ten years ago, I went to Italy for a month. I was all alone and knew no one in Italy. I'd never been anywhere by myself. Like now, I lived alone at the time, but I'd never gone off to a strange place all on my own. It was simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. But again, that was not a pleasure trip, it was a research trip.

My trip to Montreal this weekend will be the first time I am going on vacation by myself for pleasure. This time it's more exhilarating than terrifying. I plan to have a great time exploring the city. On this trip I get to do exactly what I want to do and I don't have to worry about anyone else.

I needed to get away this weekend. I needed a mental health break. Six months ago this Sunday, a dear friend of mine who was like a brother died in a car accident.  He was a very beautiful soul. One of the kindest and most loving people I've ever known. Instead of mourning him, I can spend this weekend celebrating his life. He would be so excited that I am going to Montreal and will be able to explore the Gay Village. He was always my biggest cheerleader when it came to exploring my sexuality more. 

It's not just the Gay Village, it is so much more that I want to see. The museums and cathedral and so many other things in Old Montreal. I have the history on one side of me and I have the gay experience on the other. It's a vacation that I have tailored for me, and if I'm lucky, I'll meet a few friends along the way. I already have plans to meet one friend of mine in Montreal for drinks, so unlike my time in Italy, I will know someone this time.

So I hope you will wish me luck and that I have a great and safe time. As soon as work is over, I have to run back by my apartment quickly then I'm hitting the road and driving to Montreal. If all goes well, I should make it to Montreal by about 7:30 tonight. Once I get checked in I plan to head down to the hotel restaurant and have their Moules à la Provençale et Frite Maison (Provençale style mussels and hand crafted French fries). It's a dish I've wanted to try for a long time. I love mussels and good French fries.

PS The picture above was taken while I was in Venice, Italy. Isn't he gorgeous? I stood and watched him for the longest time.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

It's a Small (Ancient) World After All...

An article with a similar title was sent to me by a reader and friend of this blog and it made me laugh so I thought I’d share it with you for some light reading.According to art historian Ellen Oredsson, the reason virtually every ancient statue you’ll ever see has a rather small penis is because of cultural perceptions and biases of the time. Apparently, big penises were associated with specific negative characteristics: foolishness, lust and ugliness. By contrast the ideal man was meant to be rational, intellectual and authoritative and a small penis allowed a man to remain coolly logical.Who can say if this is true or not but the brief and colorful article (they use a bit more direct language) can be read in its entirety here.

Here is a story from history to back up Oredsson’s theory. While Marc Antony was away with Cleopatra in Egypt, Octavian and his enemies in Rome began to slander him.  One of the forms of slander was that Marc Antony was well hung. While that would not be slander in today’s world, it was slander in the ancient world. In the ancient world this meant that he was lead by his penis. Because it was so large he could not control his sexual appetite and thus had Cleopatra, who was known to have affairs with men to gain power, i.e. Julius Caesar. In Aristophanes The Clouds, he describes the perfect man:

If you follow my recommendations,
and keep them ever in mind,
you will always have a rippling chest, radiant skin,
broad shoulders, a wee tongue,
a grand rump and a petite dick.
But if you adopt current practices,
you’ll start by having
a puny chest, pasty skin,
narrow shoulders, a grand tongue,

a wee rump and a lengthy edict.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016


I've decided to go to Montreal this weekend.  I've book a hotel just blocks away from both Old Montreal and The Gay Village.  I am super excited. Now, who has advice for visiting Montreal? I know a few sights I want to see like the basilica and the Museum of Fine Arts. My hotel also has access to the Underground City. I know I want to go to some of the clubs in The Village, so which ones are the best? Any advice will be welcomed. Do I need to get Canadian dollars there or will they take American as well? I know I need to get at least some cash. Also, my French is really terrible. I can basically order food. Is this going to be a problem? I spent three weeks in France once and my limited French was okay. Do most people in Montreal also speak English.  I know these are some dumb questions, but I would love to know as much as I possibly can before I go.

PS Before anyone says it, I have an Enhanced Driver's License so I don't have to have a passport.

PSS Please give as much advice as possible.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Dreams of the Dreamer

The Dreams of the Dreamer
By Georgia Douglas Johnson

The dreams of the dreamer
   Are life-drops that pass
The break in the heart
   To the soul’s hour-glass.

The songs of the singer
   Are tones that repeat
The cry of the heart
   ‘Till it ceases to beat.

Georgia Douglas Johnson was born in Atlanta, Georgia, on September 10, 1880. Her collections of poetry include The Heart of a Woman (Cornhill Company, 1918) and Share My World (Halfway House, 1962). She died in 1966.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Memorial Day Weekend

I'm hoping to find an inexpensive get away this weekend. I need something to keep my mind occupied. This weekend will be six months since my friend died. Sunday even falls on the 29th like it did six months ago when he died. I do not want to sit at home and brood. I know that there are several of you from New England and the surrounding area, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Please help me find something to do and something to keep my mind occupied this weekend.
If you'd like to help fund my weekend getaway, you can click either the donate button or the GoFundMe button in the upper right hand corner. Your donation would be greatly appreciated. I desperately need a mental health weekend.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

All For One

23 Now before faith came, we were imprisoned and guarded under the law until faith would be revealed. 24 Therefore the law was our disciplinarian until Christ came, so that we might be justified by faith. 25 But now that faith has come, we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian, 26 for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. 27 As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise.
Galatians 3:23-29

When Jesus came to this earth he brought with him a new covenant. It was a covenant of more than just tolerance but of love, hope, peace, and unity. Nope where is that more parent and in the third chapter of Galatians. In this chapter Paul is talking about the division among the Galatian Christians. Some believe in circumcision and others do not, but there's a stronger message year for us.

In Galatians 3:28, Paul says, "There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all you are one in Christ Jesus." In my mind, we can extend this further there is no block of white there is no straight or gay and there is only those who believe in a the goodness of mankind and those who don't.

If we believe in the goodness of mankind and then there is no division among us. We are all one. That oneness brings us all together. We are blessed Jesus does not see division. He only sees the love of mankind. He wants us to see the same thing: the goodness in others in the goodness in ourselves.

Once we quit seeing divisions in mankind, we will know the true meaning of the spirit of Jesus. We will know hope. We will know peace. We will know love. And we will know unity.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Moment of Zen: Spring

Spring does not come early in Vermont, but it seems to have finally arrived. Trees are finally starting to bud leaves and flowers can be seen growing.

Friday, May 20, 2016

The Three P's

Several people have sent me this video. They know that I have been dealing with grief since the passing of one of my closest friends. This was a message I needed to hear. I hope that if there are others who suffers from the loss of a loved one, then this message will help them too.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

My Vermont Life

My life in Vermont is certainly not an exciting one. I love my apartment which is right in town: comfortable, spacious, and convenient to the post office and library. I’ve been to the library only once, preferring to read the books that I have first. Right now, I am reading Greg Herren’s The Orion Mask. If you are a long time reader of this blog, then you know that Greg Herren is one of my favorite authors.

My weekdays tend to consist of getting up, taking a shower and heading to my office. Usually, the first thing I do when I get to work is fix cup of coffee. When students are on campus and the campus eateries are open, I often eat at one of them for lunch. The staff tends to eat together which is nice; I never have liked eating alone.I guess that comes from my mama always cooking supper when I was growing up and we all sat down for meals together. How my mama worked a full time job and came home and cooked a full meal every night is beyond me. Most days when I get home from work, I cook a simple dinner for myself and usually watch Jeopardy. I rarely eat out, and almost never on weeknights. The only time I eat out is occasionally on the weekend, especially if I drive up to Burlington. One of my favorite local dishes, which is actually a Canadian dish, is called poutine. Poutine is French fries topped with cheese curds and smothered in gravy.  Everyone makes it differently, but with that set of ingredients, it’s hard to go wrong.

On Saturday, I do what shopping I need to get done, unless that shopping calls for Burlington, then I make trips to Burlington on Sundays. I don't go to church every Sunday, but I do occasionally go. Just like eating out by myself, I am not a fan of going to church alone. Every other weekend or so, I take little road trips. One Saturday I drove down to see Dartmouth College. Another weekend I drove up to St. Albans. I am trying to explore more, but I’ll be honest, the roads in Vermont are a tad bit scary to me. Everywhere you go, you drive through mountains; sometimes there are even parts of the mountains sticking up in the median of the highway. I try to drive very carefully because accidents are common on these roads, but I do enjoy taking little road trips.

Work is going great. I have mentioned before that my predecessors had two very different ways of doing things. Some of their ways I have merged into mine, but mostly I established my own filing system and my own system of record keeping. If something were to happen to me, someone could easily step in and take my place. There should not be any problem knowing exactly where I am on different tasks because I keep up with everything on a workflow spreadsheet. It allows me to look up any interview and know exactly what needs to be done next. After my interview today, I will go in and update that system to reflect where I am currently.

So that is kind of an update on what life in Vermont is like. I miss my family, and I especially miss my cats, but after seven months, I’ve pretty well settled in. By the way, today marks my seventh month on the job. I’d say things are going well.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016


Writing a blog each day is not an easy task, especially when you live a relatively boring life. I could talk about work, but quite frankly, yesterday was kind of boring and I left early. I actually had time I needed to take because I'd come in early on Monday to interview the general that I had scheduled and then I counted the tv show as work, because it was work related. By the way, the television show went really well, at least I think so, I haven't seen it, nor do I plan to since it aired live. My interview with the general also went exceptionally well. After two and a half hours we'd only made it through Vietnam, so that interview will continue tomorrow. These are little snippets of excitement, if you can call it that, but mostly my life is rather mundane. 

I will keep blogging each day because I enjoy doing it and somehow, I always find something to say, even if it's only a pretty picture. However, with this blog post, I think I have rambled along enough. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Grief and Consolation

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 - 1861

I tell you, hopeless grief is passionless—
That only men incredulous of despair,
Half-taught in anguish, through the midnight air,
Beat upward to God’s throne in loud access
Of shrieking and reproach. Full desertness
In souls, as countries, lieth silent-bare
Under the blenching, vertical eye-glare
Of the absolute Heavens. Deep-hearted man, express
Grief for thy Dead in silence like to death;
Most like a monumental statue set
In everlasting watch and moveless woe,
Till itself crumble to the dust beneath!
Touch it! the marble eyelids are not wet—
If it could weep, it could arise and go.

Robert Louis Stevenson, 1850 - 1894

Though he, that ever kind and true,
Kept stoutly step by step with you,
Your whole long, gusty lifetime through,
      Be gone a while before,
Be now a moment gone before,
Yet, doubt not, soon the seasons shall restore
      Your friend to you.

He has but turned the corner — still
He pushes on with right good will,
Through mire and marsh, by heugh and hill,
      That self-same arduous way —
That self-same upland, hopeful way,
That you and he through many a doubtful day
      Attempted still.

He is not dead, this friend — not dead,
But in the path we mortals tread
Got some few, trifling steps ahead
      And nearer to the end;
So that you too, once past the bend,
Shall meet again, as face to face, this friend
      You fancy dead.

Push gaily on, strong heart! The while
You travel forward mile by mile,
He loiters with a backward smile
      Till you can overtake,
And strains his eyes to search his wake,
Or whistling, as he sees you through the brake,
      Waits on a stile.

Monday, May 16, 2016


Today, I have an interview with a general and then tonight I will be interviewed on a local television show. It will be a busy day of interviews. I've never been interviewed on television before, so this will be new to me. I hope that both interviews will go well. Wish me luck.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

The Unclouded Day

Author: J. K. Alwood

O they tell me of a home far beyond the skies,
O they tell me of a home far away;
O they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise,
O they tell me of an unclouded day.


O the land of cloudless day,
O the land of an unclouded day,
O they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise,
O they tell me of an unclouded day.

O they tell me of a home where my friends have gone,
O they tell me of that land far away,
Where the tree of life in eternal bloom
Sheds its fragrance through the unclouded day.


O they tell me of a King in His beauty there,
And they tell me that mine eyes shall behold
Where He sits on the throne that is whiter than snow,
In the city that is made of gold.


O they tell me that He smiles on His children there,
And His smile drives their sorrows all away;
And they tell me that no tears ever come again
In that lovely land of unclouded day.


This is one of my favorite hymns. I used to love leading this song when I was a song leader. As long as I got the "O" in the right key, then everyone would follow along. But I also love this song for its meaning in the hope that it provides.

In the first verse, the song tells us about a beautiful home where we all hope to be one day. It talks about a place where there are no clouds in the sky and there is only beautiful rays of sunshine that brightens our day. The second verse brings us even more hope. It's a place where we can see our friends who have gone on before us and we can see family members who have going on before. It's a place of eternal beauty and of eternal love.

The third and fourth verse talk about God and all the beauty that he beholds. It describes heaven as a place where God has a throne that is whiter than snow and the city is made of gold. It also talks about how our smiles will drive away all the sorrows of this life.

This song has two particular meanings for me. It means that there is hope that one day I will see those I've lost again. And as someone who lives with depression and anxiety, there will be a day when the clouds of those dreadful maladies are washed away forever. It's a place where I'll be free of headaches and can enjoy eternity with my Lord and Savior.

As we contemplate the days of spring in the unclouded days that outnumber the cloudy ones, we can take comfort that God's beauty is all around us.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Moment of Zen: Cuddling

I had a fabulous time last night at the LGBTQA Community Celebration. It was great fun going out with friends, meeting some new people, and just being with people like me.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Pride Celebration

I'm looking forward to having a good time tonight. The Pride Center of Vermont is hosting their 18th Annual LGBTQA Community Celebration to honor those who have made exceptional contributions to the LGBTQA community of Vermont. Along with two friends of mine, I will be going tonight. They will have Inspired food stations with tantalizing culinary delights by Vermont's best chefs. Amazing auction items so you can bid on an experience. I plan to have a fabulous evening surrounded by LGBTQA community.  The celebration is being held at the Echo Aquarium in Burlington and should be pretty fun. If it's not, then we will just go out drinking instead, lol.

I've never been to an event like this before, and I have only ever been to one Pride event and that was a pride parade in Paris ten or so years ago. Pride in Paris is great because if you've ever seen French men, they have the best asses I've ever seen. Italy has the biggest dicks; France as the best asses. Just my personal observations anyway. I got a little off subject there. While this will be nothing like Paris Pride, I do expect to have fun and at least meet some new people.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Italy Finally Approves Same-Sex Civil Unions

Italy's parliament approved same-sex civil unions and expanded rights to unmarried heterosexual couples on Wednesday after Prime Minister Matteo Renzi called a confidence vote to force the bill into law.

Italy is the last major Western country to legally recognize gay couples and an original draft law had to be heavily diluted due to divisions in Renzi's ruling majority. The bill had faced stiff opposition from Catholic groups who said it went too far, while gay activists said it was too timid While parliament was voting, gay rights groups gathered outside with a banner reading: "This is just the beginning."

"Today is a day of celebration in which Italy has taken a step forwards," Renzi said in a radio interview after the legislation was approved. The 41-year-old premier promised to prioritize legislation for gay rights when he took office in early 2014, but the bill has proven to be one of the most contested of a raft of initiatives he has pushed through parliament. The bill, originally presented in 2013, cleared its final real hurdle earlier on Wednesday with the confidence vote in the Chamber of Deputies, which passed it by 369 votes to 193. The chamber then rubber-stamped the bill with a final ballot.

"There is still a long way to go for full equality but this is an excellent starting point," said Gabriele Piazzoni, president of gay rights group Arcigay. The bill gives gay couples the right to share a surname, draw on their partner's pension when they die and inherit each other's assets in the same way as married people.

As a member of Arcigay (I got my membership when I was in Italy because many gay clubs require it), I am very happy that Italy has moved this far. The Catholic Church is a major force in Italy and has been a major opponent to gay rights. Italy still has more to do, but this is a step in the right direction.

Now, is there a handsome Italian man who'd like to marry me and bring me to Italy? I'm a great cook. I'm smart, a good conversationalist (once you get me going), know a little Italian, and would make a wonderful house-husband for the right man. I spent a month in Italy doing research a few years ago and have always wanted to go back. I've always said that I'd love to live in Italy.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Ambrosia Starling

From the Montgomery Advertiser in Alabama:

Opinion: Josh Moon -- Make Alabama great again, elect the drag queen

We should elect the drag queen.

Over the past few weeks and months, as one top Alabama elected official after another has been indicted or lied about a mistress or was removed from the bench or failed in a thousand different ways to govern with the best interest of the people in mind, it has become more and more clear that there is one solution to the madness that has engulfed this state.

Elect the drag queen.

I am, of course, speaking of Ambrosia Starling, the absolutely fab-u-lous, “known transvestite,” who is has become like a beeping watch buried deep in a closet to newly-suspended Chief Justice Roy Moore. The guy can’t say two sentences in a press conference or press release without mentioning Starling, which, if we were using elementary school dating rules … but I digress.

Moore apparently blames Starling and her complaints for his suspension from the state Supreme Court, and not the fact that he repeatedly ordered probate judges to ignore the law of the land and not issue marriage licenses to gay couples. The latter seemed to be more of a concern to the Judicial Inquiry Commission, but, you know, facts and junk.

In response to Moore’s repeated references to her, which included the chief justice proclaiming in a press conference that transgenderism is a “mental disorder,” Starling said this in an interview with al.com: “I am crazy for democracy. I’m insane for civil rights and better behavior. I am out of my mind when I see people losing their manners and disrespecting people they don’t know.”

And that is precisely the attitude missing from Alabama politics, and in many ways, Alabama in general.

We have excused away self-indulgence and self-interest for decades. We have made excuses for personal greed and excess. We have turned a blind eye to helping the least of us so long as it meant making a dollar for someone.

Our elected officials, particularly those of the conservative brand, have become a national embarrassment because of their greed and selfishness.

Gov. Robert Bentley was thumbing his nose at the state’s poor, refusing to expand Medicaid so they could have basic healthcare and a hospital within 100 miles, all while he was gallivanting around on a private plane with his mistress and declaring Celine Dion an honorary Alabamian.

(By the way, governor, I saw your endorsement on Monday of Donald Trump for president. A man you previously said was promoting racism and misogyny. Guess he turned out to be a better fit for you.)

Speaker of the House Mike Hubbard has led a Republican Party super-majority in the state legislature that has routinely sought to undermine and defund social programs, and which recently allowed a petty fight to derail funding Medicaid appropriately, all while he was seeking every way under the sun – legal and illegal, it seems – to line his own pockets.

That would be surprising if it didn’t happen every single day in the state house, on both sides of the aisle. Because too often now, decisions in this state boil down to how much money a proposal can bring to a lawmaker and his pals instead of whether it’s truly good for the people.

And then there’s Moore.

By all accounts, Moore is a smart judge. Those who know him well, including those who don’t like him much, often compliment his ability on the bench. When he’s actually trying.

But that’s not good enough for Roy Moore. It’s not enough to serve the people well by leading a Supreme Court that makes sound, smart decisions rooted in law and precedent and serves as the ultimate means of justice for the people.

No, instead, Moore has trashed all of it in search of personal glory. First, by defying an order to remove a religious monument he clearly knew was in violation of the law. And now, by issuing order after order in hopes of drawing complaints from the likes of a “known transvestite” and the Southern Poverty Law Center. Because doing so, playing on the fears and prejudices of the ignorant, is how Moore keeps donations rolling in and keeps his name in the headlines.

This is the leadership of Alabama. Built on greed, bigotry and self-indulgence.

Which is why I say we should elect the drag queen. We’d be much better off.

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If Tears Could Build A Stairway
Author: Unknown

If tears could build a stairway, 
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.

A thousand words won't bring you back,
I know because I've tried;
And neither will a million tears,
I know because I've cried.

Remembering you is easy, 
I do it every day. 
My missing you is heartache 
that never goes away.

No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say "Goodbye".
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.

My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you -
No one can ever know.

But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you'll always stay.

No one knows who wrote this poem, and there are numerous variations, but if you've lost someone dear to you then you know how this poem covers many of the emotions of loss. I usually don't post anonymous poems, but a dear friend sent me this one (actually a variation of it). After she sent it, I knew I wanted to use it. It's feelings that I have felt over and over.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Colton Haynes

I didn't have much to say today, but I'm still ecstatic that Colton Haynes came out. I had to go out and buy the Entertainment Weekly with the article in it. It was actually harder to find than I thought it would be. Luckily, Barnes and Nobles had a copy of it. In it he gives a quote that he says could be his mantra. It's from a writer named Ben Loory: "Once there was a man who was afraid of his shadow. Then he met it. Now he glows in the dark." I like that quote and I guess we all have to face our fears at some point in life or they just paralyze us. Haynes opened up about his lifelong struggle with anxiety, which he said led to hospitalisation, unemployment, and loss of friendships. It is somethin people should hear more about because mental illness can make people feel so abnormal when in fact millions suffer from various forms of mental illness.

Haynes, who is immensely popular and active on a number of social media platforms, has previously refused to discuss his sexuality and love life, although fans have often speculated about it. However, he has been an outspoken supporter of LGBT rights, sharing pictures and messages of support online of his gay brother Joshua and his husband Scott. In a Tumblr post posted earlier on Saturday, Haynes expressed excitement about 2016, saying he “can’t wait to live a happy/healthy life this year.”

“No fear this year,” he had tweeted on New Year’s Eve. “Cheers #2016.”

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day

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The Virtues of a Woman/Mother 
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.  
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  
She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.  
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.  
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.  
She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.  
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.  
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  
"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."  
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.  
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.  
Proverbs 31: 10-31
I hope that we all think of our mothers today. I love my mama, but like all mothers, she drives me crazy sometimes. She has been in a long period of depression since she found out I was gay, but that was relieved somewhat by the birth of my niece, so she now has the grand-baby she always wanted. She is still convinced I am going to hell, but she doesn't say it as much anymore. As long as it is a "don't ask, don't tell, don't discuss" situation, we get along great.

So even if your mother drives you crazy, I hope that you still have a good relationship with her and tell her how much you love her today.

I love you, Mama.

(She would surely die if she ever saw this blog, but I did choose a picture of sunflowers because they are her favorite.)

Blessed Assurance

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22 (KJV)

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight!
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, all is at rest!
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with his goodness, lost in His love.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

Blessed Assurance" is a well-known Christian hymn. The lyrics were written in 1873 by blind hymn writer Fanny J. Crosby to the music written in 1873 by Phoebe P. Knapp.
Crosby was visiting her friend Phoebe Knapp as the Knapp home was having a large pipe organ installed. The organ was incomplete, so Mrs. Knapp, using the piano, played a new melody she had just composed. "What do you think the tune says?" asked Knapp.
"Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine", answered Fanny Crosby.
The hymn appeared in the July 1873 issue of Palmer's Guide to Holiness and Revival Miscellany, a magazine printed by Dr. and Mrs. W. C. Palmer of 14 Bible House, New York City. It appeared on page 36 (the last page) with complete text and piano score, and indicated it had been copyrighted by Crosby that year. It is not certain that this was the first printing of the hymn, but it certainly helped to popularize what became one of the most beloved hymns of all time.
Because of Crosby's lyrics, the tune is now called "Assurance".

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Moment of Zen: Colton Haynes Comes Out

Back in January, Colton Haynes sort of came out when someone mentioned on Tumblr his secret gay past and he replied “Was it a secret?” Then he went silent. Hollywood has a way of keeping young gay men in the closet and it is one of the most disturbing things about Hollywood because so many actors could come out and be role models. Colton though was not silent because he was being coy, he was silent because of anxiety issues. He said in Entertainment Weekly that “I’ve had terminal anxiety my entire life. Physically ill, fainting. I’m 27 years old, and I have an ulcer. I had to step back.” That is exactly what he did. He checked himself into a clinic for anxiety. Anxiety and depression are a strong thing and can leave you feeling shamed, but Colton came out not only of the closet but also about his mental illness. It’s hard for people who don’t suffer from depression and/or anxiety to understand the condition.

Colton alluded to his struggle in an earlier tweet from December:
For those of you who are suffering with intense anxiety… you are not alone. It’s been a constant struggle for me since 5th grade. It’s a battle. Anxiety had put me in the hospital a countless amount of times. Whether it be fainting, hyperventilating, or seizures… I’ve been through it…I’ve quit jobs because of anxiety, flaked on social events, family gatherings, birthdays, important movie/work tests. Its a serious problem. Be there for those who struggle with anxiety and realize it’s a serious disorder. It’s not a case of ’being dramatic.’ It’s a lifelong struggle. Love those suffering.Anxiety has caused me to be extremely agoraphobic and live in constant fear of leaving my house at times. You are not alone.
Colton is one of my favorite actors and as EW said, he's a “farm boy turned New York model turned aspiring Los Angeles actor, a paragon of the digital age of the Instagrammable hunk, a slab of innocent Kansas marble sculpted by MTV and polished by The CW.” He’s a beautiful man inside and out and I understand why he has not come out sooner.  I hope that John Barrowman, another hero of mine, helped him see that he could be out and successful.

Colton Haynes coming out is a true Moment of Zen for me. I’ve waited for it for years, though I knew the truth (or at least I felt like I did). In the past five months, I haven’t had a whole lot to be happy about, but Colton Haynes coming out made me giddy. I have just a “tiny bit” of a crush on Colton, even if I would never stand a chance.