Thursday, March 19, 2015

Sometimes...



Sometimes, I think, "What am I going to write for today's post?"  Sometimes I get a good idea, sometimes I totally blank, and sometimes I find inspiration somewhere.  As I was thinking about this last night, I decided I'd just update you on my headaches and health.  If you've read this blog long, you probably know two things about my health: 1) I suffer from headaches; and 2) I suffer from depression.  I decided it was time for me to go see my doctor and discuss these issues with him more thoroughly.  I hate going to the doctor, so I've put it off for quite a while, but a few things have changed recently.

First, I wrote a month or so ago about how I think my headaches are more than just migraines and how they may be cluster headaches because of the symptoms.  When I discussed my symptoms with my doctor, he agreed.  He started me on a treatment for cluster headaches and wants me to get a CT scan, which I dread because my copay for that is $300, but it is necessary for a true diagnosis.  (If anyone would like to help with that cost, [even a small amount would help], the donate button is to the right toward the top.  It may not sound like a lot to some people, but with my current salary, the extra expense will mean less for other bills and expenses and will take some time to catch up, especially when I'm finally starting to feel like I am almost caught up financially.) My doctor did start me on some preventive medications and a new medication for when I have a cluster headache.  I'm interested to see if it will work.  I'm hopeful that it will.

Second, I've noticed in the last few months that my antidepressant hasn't seem to be doing its job, and its side effects are affecting me in a way that I hadn't noticed before.  When I had the flu, I discussed how I didn't feel that my antidepressant was working as I was having some depressive episodes.  Initially, he double the dosage of my medicine to see if it would help.  It has not.  In the past six months and even longer than that, I've been very lethargic.  I haven't had the energy to do much of anything, and so often, I just get discouraged with things piling up.  I've also had more and more moments of feeling completely hopeless.  Never to the point of harming myself, but often to the point of thinking that if I were to die, my suffering would end. (Maybe that's the passive aggressive southerner in me.) I'm glad I have wonderful friends and family who remind me the importance of being here on earth.  However, there are days when a great sadness washes over me.  I feel despondent, and I wonder if life will ever get any better.  My boyfriend makes me realize that it is worth it, and it does get better.  I love the way he makes me feel, and that brings me to the second major reason I wanted to change antidepressants.

I've also noticed, and this has just been in the last year because I've been more sexually active and have been dating more, that I've had issues getting an erection, maintaining an erection, and/or reaching orgasm.  This isn't always an occurance, but it's far more often than I'd like. It's been very frustrating for me, and I hate for my partner to think it is him, because it is most definitely not.  I just don't have the sex drive I used to have.  Sexual dysfunction is a major side effect of most antidepressants, and definitely with this one.  Doubling the dosage seemed to only make it worse.  I'm only 37, and I've always had a very strong libido until recently.  So I asked him if he'd switch me to a new medication without these side effects, and he agreed to let me try it.  I really hope it works.

That was the good news yesterday, the bad news is that there was a screw up sending my new prescriptions to the pharmacy and after I'd driven all the way to the pharmacy, they didn't have it.  When the pharmacy called the doctor's office, my doctor had already left, and the nurse wouldn't do anything to help the pharmacist.  I was quite upset, and trust me, they will hear about it first thing this morning.  Luckily, I have a family member that works not too far from my pharmacy, so she will be able to pick up my new medications, but I'm anxious to start my new medications and see how they will work.

I'm really hopeful that this is a major step,in the right direction for dealing with some of my problems.  It's a new day.

9 comments:

Michael Dodd said...

1) I went for years without health insurance and know what it is like to have a relatively small medical bill mess things up financially. The system sucks, and in a totally bad way.
2) A friend suffers from cluster headaches, and if this is part of your profile, I also hope you get effective treatment. He is also one of the most brilliant people I know, so maybe it comes with being smart?
3) Depression goes hand in hand with lethargy, which came make us slow to seek help. Glad you got moving.
4) Meds, even the ones we need, mess with our sex life, and it is always good to check on that. Also, sexual satisfaction can come in a variety of ways, so explore, explore, explore! As the 1980s song said, "There's more to love than making love."
5) So -- physical issues, financial issues, sexual issues. Plus the many other life issues you/we have to deal with. Who wouldn't be depressed! The good news is that there is someone there who cares about you and can help you find your way through this.
Best of luck!

Susan said...

Joe, you are having major life issues right now. Thankfully you decided to see your doctor and soon will have a complete diagnosis. Michael is spot on about depression and lethargy. It's a matter of finding the best anti-depressant that works for you. And as for some meds affecting sexual desire and performance: that is well-knows and different meds should be able to take case of that. I wish you all the best. Take care and keep us informed. :)

Deanh said...

If you need a topic to discuss, check out the comment by Madonna to D&G about souls. You can find it on JoeMyGod today.

greenbeltandy said...

Sorry to hear that you have not been feeling so great. As you have stated, medications often have unwanted side effects. What you need is a good sympathetic doctor who is patient about standing by you and willing to try different meds and tweek them until you come up with the best combination.

Wishing you the best!

Jay M. said...

Feeling like crap all the times sucks. I am glad, as tough as it is, that you are able to get the professional help you need to get better. Sounds like your doctor is willing to work with you, and that's even better. So many want to take the path of least resistance.

Peace <3
Jay

silvereagle said...

We all have problems of one type or another, and some times is it good to have the "my fish (problem) is bigger than yours" talk...that way we can learn that we are not the only people on the planet with that or those particular problem(s) and one we realize that we can move on....and when these problems are behind us, there will be another to take its place. But, with the proper help we can overcome any problem placed before us in life. I know you will overcome these recent difficulties. Just be strong in your faith.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried imitrex? It is a vascular dialater. Take at onset of symptoms. I have cluster. This med more often than not interrupts and the headache goes away. I use nasal app because it hits the bloodstream immediately.

EthanJM said...

I'm so glad you decided to go back to see your doctor. These headaches have been getting progressively worse and worry me. Glad you were open with your doctor and he has prescribed some new medications for you to try. I sooooooo hope they help so that these headache may not get so much in the way of more important and exciting things in your life. Thanks as always for sharing so much of you with all of us. You're not alone and you've got friends who support you and cheer you on.
Continue the fight
Ethan

Zing Blog said...

I suffered from headaches for years until I cut out artificial sweeteners and MSG. Now I never get them unless I really overdo the booze.