Monday, May 25, 2015

The Fire Is Lit

For the past five years, I have not really been happy.  I love teaching, but their were aspects of my job that I was really not happy with.  I was constantly frustrated with the students and their lack of ambition, and I think some of that had worn off on me.  I'd looked for other jobs, but if I am going to be truthful with myself, it was only a half-hearted effort.  I was comfortable with my job, even if I was unhappy.  Losing my job has lit a fire in me to search for better employment, employment that will be fulfilling, and employment that I can be proud of.  I am going to continue looking into teaching positions, but I am also turning to the museum sector and other areas where my degrees will be useful.  Maybe it is time for a new path.  Many of the museum jobs require a degree in history, and I have also had some training in public history.  Museums often look for someone who can be an educational resource, so they often look for someone who has educational experience.  It's a small glimmer of hope, but you can't get a job if you don't apply, so I am applying to as many places as I can.  If anyone has any suggestions or can offer any assistance in this endeavor, I'd be greatly appreciative.
If you've ever lost your job suddenly and without any type of prior warning, you probably know the emotional roller coaster that I have been going through the past few days: shock, anger, hopelessness, disappointment, but also hope for better things to come.  (By the way, I'm almost certain that I was let go so that they could make room for the new football coach. If that is the case, I am better off not being at a school that puts athletics so far above academics.) My post yesterday was about that hope, and I'm clinging to that for dear life.  I refuse to let depression overtake me again, and I will be more proactive in my life circumstances.  I'm going to make this a positive experience, even though my heart hurts right now with the feelings of betrayal from a school I'd poured my heart and soul into making a better place.
As Gloria Gaynor famously sang:
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
No, not I, I will survive
Long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And all my love to give and I'll survive
I will survive
It may be taking all my strength not to fall apart, but I will survive.  I want to thank all of you for your love, support, and words of encouragement during this period of tribulation.
It’s easy to get bogged down in my own self pity and forget that today is Memorial Day and what it actually means but this day signifies so much that is important to the freedoms we have in this country and the freedoms we strive to expand upon.  Memorial Day is a solemn day of remembrance for everyone who has died serving in the American armed forces. The holiday, originally known as Decoration Day, started after the Civil War to honor the Union and Confederate dead.  
On this Memorial Day, I want us not only to remember the men and women who have died, but to especially remember those gay, lesbian, and bisexual veterans who died serving in silence in the times before the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  They served and died for a country that denied them their own freedoms, many in hope that one day their sacrifice would lead to greater freedoms in America.  Most of those gay, lesbian, and bisexual service men and women would be shocked to know that not only can gay people serve openly in the military but that they can be married to someone of the same sex and receive spousal benefits, or that the majority of states allow same-sex marriage and that we seem to be on the verge of it becoming legal nationwide. We cannot let their sacrifices be in vain, and we must continue the fight for a better and more free America.


djc314 said...

I like your attitude.

Susan said...

Thank you for these comments, Joe. But realize you do need time to mourn your loss; even a job that wasn't completely fulfilling can be an OK habit when earning a steady income is so important. Your song choice and over all attitude is wonderful, just don't get down on yourself if it becomes impossible to always stay upbeat. I know eventually you will not only "survive" but come out the other side a happier person. All the luck in the world finding what's right for you. With love and support...

Anonymous said...

Any school that would put football over someone with your knowledge and wisdom is obviously a bad fit all the way around. A very stupid move on their part.


Anonymous said...

Assuming that your teaching certificate is still in order, try applying as a substitute teacher with several nearby districts. It will give you at least some income in the fall in needed. Also substitute teachers are not under a contract and immediately can leave a district when something better comes along.

Michael Dodd said...

My husband, Tom, is one of the many men I know who served this country when it would have treated them like criminals had their sexual orientation been known.

We live today in an area with lots of Native Americans, people who take great pride today and on Veterans Day in their numbers who served in the US military. As a historian, you know why this is beautiful and sad at the same time.

On the job hunt front, keep that fire burning! Warmth and light are out there for you somewhere. I have confidence.

Amanda said...

I'm glad to hear that you are keeping a positive attitude. I know it can't always be easy. But, it helps to stay upbeat and know everything always has a way of working out.

I hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day and try to enjoy it. May we remember never get our fallen veteran's sacrifice.

JiEL said...

Very good attitude...

Keep that fire light warm you and drive you to get the job you deserve.

The idea of workng in a museum is awesome...
I also often thought about it because I have a good knowledge of the «history of Art»...

I'll pray for you to find that job.

Friendly yours from Montréal.

Jay M. said...

Virginia Museum of Fine Art
Historical Society of Virginia

both museums with huge educational programs, who knows what is open!

Peace <3

Anonymous said...

I would seriously get some legal advice. That is just not right. I don't know all the details of your employment deal but they can't just fire you without cause.

kent said...

You are right to feel blindsided and angry. But you have a good attitude just the universe pushing you into something new that you've wanted to do for a while. Take care. Kent in OKC