I cannot stress enough how glad I am to be working from home today. I left work yesterday not only angry but deeply frustrated.
There are two things I simply cannot abide in the workplace:
- Rudeness. There is no reason for anyone to be rude to their coworkers. There is never an excuse for it. No matter the situation, there is always a kinder, gentler approach.
- Lack of communication. There is no reason not to communicate—especially when it’s done intentionally to make someone else’s job more difficult.
I’m all for helping coworkers, but when someone constantly says they’re “too busy” to help with even the smallest task—especially because they’re working on a side job they’re getting paid extra for—it crosses a line. The arrangement is supposed to be simple: make up the time you miss, and don’t work on the second job during your regular hours. Yet somehow, those rules seem to apply to everyone but them.
While these examples come from within my own department, the same rudeness and lack of communication seem to be spreading campus-wide. Every time I have to depend on another department lately, it turns into a source of stress and frustration.
Yesterday, after a week of this nonsense, I’d had enough. My boss got an earful. Her advice? “Stop being such a nice person.” That’s easier said than done. I know how to be assertive, but having to be aggressive only increases my anxiety.
So, if any of my readers happen to know of a university museum looking for an educator or a programs-and-outreach person, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I already have a few applications out there, but it’s time to start looking actively instead of passively.
I have a museum conference coming up soon. While networking isn’t something I usually enjoy, I’m actually fairly good at it when I need to be. As much as I love my institution and my job, it may simply be time to move on.
For now, I’m just grateful it’s Friday and I can breathe again.
4 comments:
This just seems like poor leadership. "Stop being so nice"? wtf does that mean? Why isn't your boss calling out these people who won't help with anything? Why isn't she rallying the "team" to make this event successful? Being rude or unprofessional is never a good idea, and descending to the level of your co-workers will just make things worse.
Agree -- time to look for a new job. Lot's of museums in New England and New York.
I understand your frustration.
The response from you boss tells me she does not know to lead, motivate, and help you navigate workplace dynamics.
She needs to go. And has been for a while. I remember when she was brought on board.
As you know, document everything and when having conversations follow-up with an email stating a summary of the conversation, action items, and so forth. Always protect you. When the rubber hits the road more than likely it will be you shown the door. Have your receipts ready.
Be suspicious of HR because more times than not, they are for the institution not you.
Breath and move on.
Have a great weekend.
Might be time for a long hot bath and time outside the house this weekend. Treat yourself.
Best!!
Yup, time to look elsewhere but remember, don’t bring your problems with you. Being nice does not count. Nice is or should be universal but in today’s world that may perceived as a weakness. Be aggressive in your search. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. What qualifications does your boss have or need? Do you have those qualifications? Is it, people you know, that got her the job. Who do you know? Get known. Have a nice weekend and yes get out, burn up some anger physically. But no shoe shopping.
Lamento mucho esta situación que estas viviendo José. Lo único que puedo decirte es que seas asertivo, lo primero eres tu y después busca un nuevo empleo donde te valoren y respeten. Un fuerte abrazo.
Ángel
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