Monday Night Football

I will readily admit it, my biggest fault is that I love gossip.  I especially love gossip about someone that I don’t like.  I know that it is wrong, but I think that is why I love history so much.  History in reality is just the gossip that survived the test of time.  Two of the best pieces of gossip I have heard in the last week have been about athletes.  One is the Duke Fuck List, which I might do a post on for Wednesday (it sort of depends on my mood).  However, the gossip I want to discuss to day is about the NFL and particularly, Brett Farve—the slimy, drug, alcohol, and sex addicted, son-of-a-bitch who won’t seem to fucking retire.  Yeah, I don’t particularly like him, in fact I much prefer the football pics above.  Those of you who know much about me personally may be a little surprised at this, but all the people I know who have had encounters with this man have nothing good to say about him.

Now it seems that he was harassing a female sidelines reporter for the Jets named Jenn Sterger.  For those who don't know (or forget, I for one didn’t really know or care before this) who Jenn Sterger is: she is formerly buxom Florida State Cowgirl who gained internet notoriety for being a buxom Florida State fan who parlayed that popularity into a full-time career. She did Maxim shoots. Playboy shoots. She wrote a "Confessions of a Cowgirl" column for Sports Illustrated. Then, in 2008, Ms. Sterger joined the Jets as an in-house sideline reporter. It was during that fateful time that her and Mr. Favre's paths began to cross. Sort of.

Last winter, close to the Super Bowl, Ms. Sterger and Deadspin were discussing a possible collaboration on the proposed "Deadspin Swimsuit Project," which turned into a conversation about the whole "athlete dong photo" phenomenon. She claimed that she's been on the receiving end of several of those types of cell phone interactions by drunk men, some of whom were professional athletes. They later had a phone conversation about who some of the more well-known dong-shot senders were. One person, she claimed, who was very into cell phone-donging her was none other than Brett Favre. Now, at one point in his career, this news wouldn't be too surprising. Favre's time in Green Bay is littered with stories about his boozing and carousing. But gray-haired Favre? Oh yeah, she said. Sterger said that Favre first began to call her early in the season and leave strange, friendly messages on her voicemail. She played me one of these voicemails over the phone. It was Brett turning on the Mississippi simpleton charm on his way to practice giving Jenn a friendly good ol' boy hello to a pretty lady. It was odd, but nothing incriminating. Then the phone calls from Brett started to turn weird.
Sterger claimed she spurned Favre's advances because he was married, but also because she was working for the Jets at the time she didn't think it was the best idea to start a torrid affair with the team's highest profile player. Plus, if she went forward with how aggressive he was and how skeeved out she was to some of her superiors, she suspected she might lose her job. The interactions were flirty and strange but she didn't think there wasn't anything that made her too uncomfortable. But then, one night, Sterger received a picture on her phone which was so shocking that she just tossed it across the room. It was his dick. Brett Favre's dick. And it happened multiple times. In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he's masturbating — while wearing a pair of Crocs. In another photo, Favre is holding his penis while wearing the wristwatch he wore during his first teary-eyed retirement press conference.
There is more to the story as covered by Deadspin, but I think you get the just of the details.  If you would like to see the Deadspin video which has the voicemails and texts, click here (penis photos at 2:08 mark but I also put them above).  If you don’t want to watch the evidence, here is a breakdown of the reasons I believe it is Farve, besides the fact that he is a slimy sonofabitch. Yes, there's a possibility that the person communicating with Sterger was not actually Brett Favre, but rather someone trying very hard to appear to be him. But let's look at the evidence: For an individual to put forth the effort to 1.) acquire a cellphone with a Mississippi area code where Farve lives; 2.) take some voice lessons because not only does it sound like Farve, but the person has an authentic South Mississippi accent (a true southern knows his variations in southern accents); and 3.) implicate Jets handlers and perhaps other people, all within a very short period of time and for no discernible reason other than to mess with Sterger, well, that's some very aggressive role-playing. Sterger believed it to be him. Others believed it to be him. We've seen far too many supposedly family-oriented and upstanding professional athletes whose off-field behavior contradicts their well-manicured public persona. If Sterger is right, Brett Favre really is like a kid out there.  He also has a rather smallish dick (technically averaged size, but considering all the stories I had heard about him flashing it around Mississippi while he was in college, you’d think it would be big enough to brag about).
If you don’t know who the hell I have been talking about in this post, here is Brett Farve: