Monday, February 8, 2016


Yes, that does stand for Thank God It's Monday.  When I was teaching, I dreaded Mondays. I dreaded Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays as well. I'm probably one of the very few who ever say this, but I'm glad for Monday to be here. While I used to look forward to my weekends to be away from the students and school bullshit, I now dread the weekends. They are so lonely. After I moved to Vermont, I rarely see anyone on the weekends. I'd much rather be at work and surrounded by people than be here alone.

Besides the loneliness, Sundays seem to be the hardest because it's the day of the week that my friend died on and I often can't stop thinking about it. I used to be happy on Sundays but now I'm just sad all day, but emails and blog comments are what I look for most because they make my day and make it a little better. I miss my friend, and some days, and especially Sundays, are almost unbearable at times. I wish I could just skip the weekend all together. I worked at the museum Saturday, and being away from my apartment really helped but then I dreaded Sunday.

I think that thinking about my friend who passed away more on the weekends when I'm so lonely is why my Sunday posts always mention my friend these days. I can't help it because it's all that's on my mind when I think of Sunday. I know there is nothing I can do about it, but I wish with all my might that I could go back to that day and change what happened.

It doesn't help that I don't have a church to go to. I'd planned to go to one of the three churches on the same block that I live on, but I overslept for the Methodist and Episcopal services and I thought the United Church had 11 am services, but it turned out to be at 10 am when the other services were. This may sound strange but while I love church, I don't like to go when it means going alone.

How fucked up is it that I hate the weekends now. At least it goes to show just how much I love my job and the people I work with on a daily basis.


naturgesetz said...

There are several Catholic Masses in Burlington (which is where I'm guessing you are) after 10:00 a.m.
As you see, the link contains a "Print" command, but when I click cancel, it converts to a full page display.
I have no idea which are gay friendlier than others, but as long as you don't go in a feather boa, you should be okay.

Can you maybe transfer your thinking of your friend's day of death from day of the week to day of the month?

naturgesetz said...

P.S., if you can't get the full page display, just print page one. All the Burlington Catholic churches are there.

Joe said...

I actually live an hour away from Burlington. I live in the central part of the state and there are only four churches here, three are within a block of me. The Catholic Church is back a ways from the center of town.

I have tried to think of it as the day of the month but it always seems to come back to me all each Sunday.

Average gay dude said...

I heard that whenever you think about a loved one who has passed away, it's their soul reminding you that they're present and watching over you. Talk to your friend, I talk to my Grandma all the time. Eventually you'll look forward to having those thoughts and memories and they'll bring you comfort. They do for me.

I hope you're able to find a church you enjoy and your headaches ease up.