Wednesday, March 4, 2026

The Sounds of the South

There are certain sounds that immediately take me back to where I grew up in Alabama. I don’t mean music or voices or anything human-made. I mean the sounds of the natural world—the birds, the animals, and the nighttime chorus that filled the woods and riverbanks. For those of us who grew up in the South, these sounds are part of our memory in a way that never really leaves us.

My parents still live on a quiet cove along a river in Alabama. It’s the kind of place where wildlife is simply part of the landscape. You might not see everything that lives around you, but you certainly hear it. Southern nights have their own orchestra—owls hooting in the trees, frogs and insects humming in the darkness, and sometimes the distant bellow of an alligator rolling across the water.

One of the most unforgettable sounds is the call of the Great Horned Owl. It’s the classic owl sound—the deep “hoo-hoo” that carries through the woods at night. If you’ve ever heard it echo across water or through tall pines, you know how haunting it can be. They are large birds too. When you see one up close, standing upright on a branch, they can look enormous, almost prehistoric. My dad jokingly calls them “horny owls,” because of the tufts of feathers that stick up like horns from their heads.

If you answer their hoot with one of your own, sometimes they will fly closer to investigate. I have seen them land in nearby trees, curious about the stranger calling in their territory. It’s impressive, but also just unsettling enough to make you aware that you are not the only creature awake in the dark.

But the Great Horned Owl is not the only eerie sound of a Southern night. Screech owls live throughout the South, and their calls can be downright chilling. Despite the name, they often don’t screech at all. Instead, they make a trembling, haunting trill or a descending whinny that sounds almost ghostly in the darkness. When you’re lying awake in the woods and hear that sound drifting through the trees, it can raise the hair on the back of your neck.

Then there are the animals you rarely see but always hear. Alligators don’t usually come near my parents’ house, but farther down the river you can see them from a boat. Even when you can’t see them, you can sometimes hear them bellowing across the water at night. It’s a deep, vibrating sound that seems to roll through the darkness. If you’ve never heard it before, it can be a little unnerving. The South has a way of reminding you that nature is still very much alive around you.

Not all the sounds of the South are frightening. Some are simply part of the rhythm of the landscape.

One of my favorites is the whip-poor-will. People often hear its call exactly as its name suggests—“whip-poor-will.” When I was growing up, though, we had our own interpretation. To us it sounded like “Chip fell out of the white oak.” Once you hear it that way, it’s hard to hear anything else.

Then there is the bobwhite quail. Anyone who has spent time in southern fields knows that whistle. The male’s call really does sound like “Bob White!” It’s one of those bird calls that even people who don’t know birds can recognize immediately. The baby quail are especially adorable. You will sometimes see them walking along behind their mother in a neat little line, like a feathery parade moving through the grass. If they suddenly flush from a field, they burst up all at once, and for a moment they look like big brown bumblebees buzzing away across the field. They are surprisingly round birds when you see them take off like that.

Marshes and riverbanks bring another familiar voice: the red-winged blackbird. If you’ve ever camped near wetlands, you’ve probably heard its liquid, trilling call coming from the reeds. I first learned that sound while camping at Fort Pickens along the Gulf Coast, surrounded by marshes and coastal wildlife. Later I realized that the same birds show up far from the coast too. Occasionally I see them here in Vermont, which always feels like a little reminder of home.

Mockingbirds deserve a mention too. They are practically a symbol of Alabama, thanks to Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. The birds themselves are famous for their ability to imitate other sounds, including other birds and sometimes even mechanical noises. I remember living in Mississippi and having a mockingbird outside my window that had learned to imitate a neighbor’s car alarm. It would sit in the crepe myrtle tree and loudly repeat that alarm sound in the early morning hours.

They are also fiercely protective parents. If you get too close to a mockingbird nest, they will often dive bomb you repeatedly until you move away from their chicks.

My grandfather used to say there was nothing wrong with killing a mockingbird because “they’re a damned nuisance!” Whether you find them charming or annoying, there’s no denying that they add their own unique voice to the Southern soundscape.

And of course there are the sounds that belong to both North and South. Ducks and geese honking across the water are just as familiar in Vermont as they are in Alabama. Their voices carry over ponds and rivers in a way that feels universal, part of the shared language of wetlands everywhere.

It’s funny how these sounds stay with us. Years later, you can hear a single call—a whip-poor-will at dusk, a bobwhite in a field, or the distant hoot of an owl—and suddenly you are transported back to a different place and time.

For those of us who grew up in the South, the landscape had its own language. The woods spoke at night, the marshes sang during the day, and the river carried voices across the water.

And once you learn that language, you never really forget it.


What about you? What wildlife sounds immediately take you back to where you grew up? I’d love to hear what voices from nature still echo in your memories.



Isabella has her own favorite sound of nature—the robin. For some reason, robins fascinate her more than any other bird. When she sees one perched on the railing outside the window, she immediately runs over to watch it. Sometimes the two of them will simply stare at each other for several minutes, the robin calmly perched outside while Isabella crouches inside like a tiny black panther ready to pounce. Eventually the robin gets bored and flies away, which seems to irritate Isabella greatly, as if the hunt ended before it really began.


Tuesday, March 3, 2026

Pic of the Day

My Love


My Love
By Bruce Nugent

My love has hair
Like midnight,
But midnight fades to dawn.
My love has eyes
Like starlight,
But starlight fades in morn.
My love has a voice
Like dew-fall,
But dew-fall dies at a breath.
My love has love
Like life’s all,
But life’s all fades in death.


There is something exquisitely fragile about this poem. It is brief. It is lyrical. It feels almost like a hush between night and morning. And yet, beneath its simplicity lies a quiet depth—especially for LGBTQ+ readers.

Nugent never specifies the gender of “my love.” In the 1920s, that ambiguity mattered. It was protective, yes—but it was also expansive. It allowed queer readers to recognize themselves in the poem without explanation or apology. The beloved exists purely as beloved.


About the Poem

Structurally, the poem is built on a pattern of comparison followed by inevitability:

Midnight → dawn
Starlight → morning
Dew-fall → breath
Life → death

Each image is beautiful. Each image is temporary.

Midnight is lush and enveloping—but it yields to daylight.
Starlight dazzles—but disappears at sunrise.
Dew glistens—but vanishes with warmth.
Life itself—however full—ends.

At first glance, the poem can feel almost mournful. Everything fades. Every beautiful thing is subject to time.

But the emotional power of the poem lies in tension. The speaker does not diminish the beloved because these things fade. Instead, he elevates them by comparing them to fleeting wonders. The beloved is aligned with the most luminous, delicate moments in nature—the kinds of beauty that feel almost sacred precisely because they cannot last.

The repetition of “My love has…” creates intimacy and insistence. The speaker lingers over physical attributes—hair, eyes, voice—before arriving at the final stanza: “My love has love / Like life’s all.” That line deepens the poem. The beloved is not merely beautiful; the beloved embodies love itself.

And yet, even that—“life’s all”—fades in death.

Rather than nihilism, the poem reads as an acknowledgment of impermanence. It recognizes that love exists within time, within bodies, within a world that changes. For queer readers—especially those who have known love constrained by secrecy, distance, or social pressure—the awareness of fragility can feel familiar. Love can feel luminous and precarious at the same time.

Nugent’s tone remains gentle throughout. There is no bitterness, no rage—only clear-eyed tenderness. The beauty of the beloved is described without ornamented excess. The poem trusts its images. Midnight. Starlight. Dew. Life. They are enough.

What makes this poem linger is its honesty about time. It does not promise permanence. It does not deny mortality. Instead, it suggests that beauty and love are made more intense by their fleeting nature.

Midnight matters because it ends.
Starlight dazzles because it disappears.
Dew captivates because it will not last.

So too with love.

In just twelve lines, Nugent captures something universal: to love is to embrace what is luminous and fragile at once. And in doing so, he leaves us with a quiet truth—the fact that something fades does not make it less beautiful. It makes it precious.


About the Poet

Bruce Nugent (1906–1987) was a writer, artist, and an important voice of the Harlem Renaissance. He moved in the same creative circles as Langston Hughes and other luminaries of the period, but what distinguishes Nugent is his openness about queer desire—something remarkably rare for the time.

His short story Smoke, Lilies and Jade is often cited as one of the earliest published works by an African American writer to portray same-sex attraction with directness. While many writers of the era coded or obscured queer themes, Nugent allowed them to surface with surprising clarity.

As a Black gay man in early 20th-century America, Nugent navigated multiple layers of marginalization. His work frequently blends vulnerability and boldness—soft imagery paired with radical presence. Simply writing love poetry that could be read as queer was an act of quiet defiance.

“My Love” may appear modest in scale, but its existence speaks volumes. It offers beauty without justification. It does not defend love; it simply names it.

Monday, March 2, 2026

Pic of the Day

A Lazy Monday Morning


There is nowhere I need to be today, nothing I have to do today, and nobody I need to see today. In fact, that’s true for the whole week. I’m on vacation.

No, I’m not going anywhere—unless you count going to Burlington today to do a little shopping. Our fiscal year comes to a close at the end of May, and I have vacation leave I need to use. I used to basically take off the entire month of May, but my current boss won’t allow that, so now I take time here and there to use it up. The only real travel I have planned is my trip to Montreal at the end of April, which I’m very much looking forward to.

This morning, when Isabella woke me up at 4 a.m., I got up and fed her, then went back to bed. Usually, I have to stay up once I’m awake, but it was -3 degrees outside, and crawling back under the covers felt like the wiser choice. I ended up sleeping until after 6 a.m., which is why this post is a little later than usual.

Today, I can leisurely drink my coffee, have some toast, and just do whatever I feel like doing. In an hour or so, I’ll shower and get dressed before heading up to Burlington for the day. It’s supposed to be a beautiful, sunny day. The high will only be 22 degrees, but it’s not supposed to be windy, and with the sun it should feel closer to 27. Practically balmy.

I have a few things I’m looking for, but mainly I’m on the hunt for a birthday present for a friend. She always gets me something thoughtful for my birthday and Christmas, and I never quite know what to get her in return. I used to love going into Ten Thousand Villages on Church Street—Burlington’s pedestrian-only marketplace—but they closed their physical stores and operate only online now. Still, there are a few quirky shops left to explore.

No alarms, no meetings, no deadlines—just coffee, sunshine, and a little Burlington wandering. That’s all, folks!

Have a great week, everyone! — I know I plan to.


Sunday, March 1, 2026

Pic of the Day

Finding Peace in the Midst of It


“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

— John 16:33


Jesus never promised us an easy life. In fact, He promised the opposite. “In this world you will have trouble.” Not might. Not maybe. Will.

For LGBTQ+ people of faith, those words often feel painfully accurate.

There is the trouble of coming out. The trouble of wondering whether family will still love you. The trouble of sitting in a pew where sermons sound more like warnings than good news. The trouble of being misunderstood, misrepresented, or dismissed. The trouble of carrying faith and identity in the same body when others insist the two cannot coexist.

Jesus did not deny that trouble exists. He acknowledged it plainly. But He did not stop there.

“In me you may have peace.”

That peace is not the absence of conflict. It is the presence of Christ in the middle of it.

Isaiah 43:2 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” Notice it does not say if you pass through. It says when. God does not pretend the waters aren’t real. He promises to be with us in them.

For many of us, the waters have been deep. Some lost friends. Some lost churches. Some lost years trying to pray away something that was never a sin to begin with. Some, like in earlier generations, feared losing jobs, safety, even life itself. And yet we are still here.

Why? Because Christ has overcome the world.

Romans 8:38-39 reminds us that nothing “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future… nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” That includes rejection. That includes misinterpretation of Scripture. That includes the fear someone tried to hand you in God’s name.

The world may give trouble. Christ gives peace.

And this peace is not fragile. It is not dependent on universal affirmation. It is not rooted in cultural approval. It is anchored in the victory of Jesus Himself.

John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.” The world’s peace is conditional. Behave. Conform. Be silent. Blend in. Then maybe you can belong.

Christ’s peace says: You are Mine.

When I think back to moments of fear in my own life — fear of disappointing people, fear of being condemned, fear of not fitting the mold I was raised with — the peace that ultimately sustained me did not come from everyone understanding. It came from realizing that God already did.

Trouble may still come. It probably will. But it does not get the final word. Jesus has already spoken that word: “I have overcome the world.”

If you are struggling today — with family tension, church wounds, internal doubt, or the exhaustion of simply being yourself — remember this: your peace does not depend on winning every argument or convincing every critic. Your peace rests in Christ, who has already overcome everything that tries to diminish you.

Take heart. Not because the world is easy, but because Christ is victorious. His peace is yours.


Friday, February 27, 2026

Pic of the Day

Finally Friday


Thank goodness it’s Friday—and I’m working from home today. I’m off all next week for spring break and had some vacation time to use, so I’m really looking forward to a full week to relax and recharge.

Sorry this is posting a little later than usual. I got distracted this morning and almost forgot altogether, so I’m keeping this one short and sweet.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, February 26, 2026

Pic of the Day

Sleepy Side Effects

Fair warning: today’s post is more medically informative than my usual reflections—it’s still personal, but a bit heavier on the details than you’re accustomed to here, and I suspect this medication may also make me a bit loquacious, as Susan could probably attest after our conversation last night.


It’s not often that I wake up and still feel this sleepy. I have a migraine medication that I rarely take because it can make me drowsy for a couple of days. Most of my other medications work fine, so I tend to avoid the ones that linger like that. I think this morning’s drowsiness is also due to a migraine medication.

At my last appointment at the Headache Clinic, they gave me a new medication to try. It’s one of the newer CGRP medications. I’ve tried several over the years. This one is interesting because it can be used as a rescue drug, though some CGRP medications are used as preventatives.

I take Qulipta daily as a preventative. Ubrelvy, however, is a rescue medication. Most CGRP medications are taken once a month, once every three months, or daily. Ubrelvy isn’t taken that way. It’s meant to be taken at the first sign of a migraine—usually an aura.

Auras look different for everyone, but they’re a signal that a migraine attack is imminent. For me, my auras are small twinkling lights that float in my vision. They aren’t dramatic, and they rarely last more than a few seconds—never more than 30 seconds. I don’t always see an aura before a migraine, but if I do see one, I will get a migraine.

So instead of taking it at the beginning of the headache itself, as with most triptans, Ubrelvy is taken when the aura appears.

Yesterday, I saw an aura and took a dose of Ubrelvy. I never developed the migraine. That alone feels like a victory.

Ubrelvy has three potential—though still somewhat rare—side effects: nausea, sleepiness, and fatigue. Most people experience side effects within 30 minutes to an hour after taking a medication. However, because of my liver issues, medications can take longer to become effective or for side effects to appear. Some medicines, including Ubrelvy, are metabolized in the liver. When liver function is compromised, metabolism can slow down, which can delay both effectiveness and side effects.

That seems to be what happened with this dose.

About three to four hours after seeing the aura and taking the medication, I became very drowsy and fell asleep in the middle of reading a book. It took me a bit to fully wake up, but once I did, I seemed fine. Then last night, the drowsiness hit again. I fell asleep early and slept through the night—even through Isabella’s usual insistence on being fed.

I woke up at 4:00 a.m. when she made her presence known, but I went back to sleep. When I woke again around 4:30, I checked the time and made myself get up, feed her, and put on some coffee.

I’m awake now, but I could very easily lie back down and fall asleep again—even after being up for an hour.

I’m hoping this doesn’t last all day. I’ll drink my coffee, watch the news, and take a shower—all of which should help me wake up more fully. I was out of work Monday with a migraine, off yesterday, and I have an important meeting at 9:00 a.m., so I really need to be at work today. If this drowsiness continues, it may not be a full workday—but hopefully I’ll shake it off and get through.

I’ll likely make a strong cup of tea when I get to work this morning.


To make up for how boring this post may have been, here’s Isabella’s Pic of the Week (with a little bit of me thrown in the mix):

Wednesday, February 25, 2026

Pic of the Day

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

In 1735, Benjamin Franklin wrote in Poor Richard’s Almanack:

“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

One thing I know for sure—he wasn’t correct about the “wealthy” part. And I’m not entirely convinced about the “healthy” and “wise” either.

Last night, I had one of the worst migraines I’ve had in a while. It had been building all day and finally came to a crescendo around 7:30 p.m. By 8:00, after taking my migraine medicine, I was asleep. That part, at least, would have made Mr. Franklin proud.

I woke up around 11:30 p.m.—thankfully without the migraine—but it took me over an hour to fall back to sleep. In fact, I was awake enough to finish reading a novella I’d started the day before. There’s something oddly satisfying about finishing a book in the quiet middle of the night, when the world feels paused and suspended.

Once I finished the novella, I did what many men do when they can’t sleep and nearly dozed off watching a particularly unexciting video that should have been stimulating but instead worked better than melatonin. I was awake just long enough to turn everything off and slip into dreamland.

You’d think falling asleep during that type of video might lead to some interesting dreams—perhaps something that wood be pleasant—but no such luck. The dreams were as boring as the video. In one, I was in the middle of a very colorful parade reminiscent of a Pride parade. Only it wasn’t a celebration—it was a protest. I never discovered what we were protesting, even though dream-me kept trying to find out. The other dream was so unremarkable that I can’t even remember what it was about.

I suspect the second dream was interrupted by Isabella wanting to be fed at 3:45 a.m. I successfully fended her off for about thirty minutes before surrendering. At that hour, resistance is futile.

Now I’m writing this post with a slight headache lingering, contemplating whether I should just go back to bed.

I’m technically off work today because of a scheduling error I made and decided not to correct. Officially, I’m “at a doctor’s appointment at Dartmouth.” It had originally been a Botox appointment until they shortened the interval between shots from twelve weeks to ten. Since I do actually have a headache, the sick leave for the first part of the day still applies. I was planning to take vacation time this afternoon anyway.

So here I am—early to bed, early to rise—and not feeling especially healthy, not remotely wealthy, and certainly not particularly wise.

Perhaps Mr. Franklin should have added a footnote:

“Results may vary. Especially for those with migraines, midnight reading habits, and insistent cats.”

Tuesday, February 24, 2026

Pic of the Day

Window Art



Window Art
By Kwame Dawes

     for Kojo

There is the fickle shadow, the dialect
of my body; me standing before myself—
as if the framing of this ordinary mirror,
is the small light of a window,
and see this naked man, no longer shy,
move me with the muscle
of thighs and the flattery of shoulders—
this is a kind of art; perhaps
the only art there is, my body
still able to seduce me to tenderness.

My calculus of pleasure or contentment
is the way my older self,
that brother of mine who faced
the wars, four years ahead,
the blasted sight, the kidneys’
decay, the atrophy of bone in his
spine. To think I found comfort
in the slow calculation. He was
broken long before, and I have survived
another curse. This is as ugly
as all love can be. And, so, I give
thanks for this body walking
towards the trees, away from me
the machine of me, my backside
a revelation.


About the Poem 

Some poems don’t ask us to escape into beauty—they ask us to pause and recognize it in ourselves, exactly as we are. Kwame Dawes’s “Window Art” is one of those poems. It begins with something simple: a man standing before a mirror, seeing his own body not with criticism, but with a kind of quiet tenderness. Yet, as the poem unfolds, that moment of self-recognition becomes something deeper. It becomes a meditation on loss, on the memory of a brother who has gone before him, and on the fragile gift of still being here. There is grief in this poem, certainly—but there is also gratitude. It reminds us that to be alive, in a body that still moves and feels, is itself a kind of art. 

What struck me most about this poem is how it begins in something so ordinary—a glance in the mirror—and transforms that moment into something almost sacred. Too often, we are our own harshest critics. We look at our bodies and see flaws, age, or what we wish were different. But Dawes invites us to see something else: tenderness. 

That tenderness becomes even more meaningful when placed beside loss. The speaker measures his own life against the suffering of his brother, who has already endured illness and death. Survival, then, is not simply a blessing—it is complicated. It carries grief, memory, and even a kind of quiet guilt. 

And yet, the poem does not end in sorrow. It ends in gratitude.

There is something profoundly moving in the idea that our bodies—imperfect, aging, and temporary—are still worthy of appreciation. They carry us forward, even as we know they will not last forever. In that awareness, there is both a sobering truth and a strange comfort: we are all walking the same path, just at different moments along the way.

“Window Art” is a meditation on the body, mortality, and mourning. The poem begins with the speaker observing himself in a mirror, which he transforms into a “window”—a powerful image suggesting both reflection and passage. The body becomes a work of art, not because it is perfect, but because it is alive and capable of feeling.

The poem then shifts to the speaker’s brother, who functions as both a real person and a symbolic “older self.” Having suffered illness and death, the brother represents the future that awaits the speaker. This creates a poignant tension: the speaker’s present vitality is measured against his brother’s decline.

Dawes does not romanticize this suffering. The physical details—“kidneys’ decay,” “atrophy of bone”—are stark and unflinching. Love, in this context, is described as “ugly,” not because it is cruel, but because it is inseparable from pain and loss.

In the final lines, the speaker imagines his body moving away from him, “towards the trees,” suggesting both nature and death. Yet even here, there is gratitude. The body, though temporary, remains a source of wonder. The poem ultimately suggests that to live with awareness of mortality is not to despair, but to deepen one’s appreciation for the present.


About the Poet

Kwame Dawes (b. 1962) is a Ghanaian-born poet, novelist, and editor, widely regarded as one of the most important contemporary voices in Caribbean and African diasporic literature. Raised in Jamaica, Dawes’s work often explores themes of identity, migration, spirituality, illness, and memory.

He is the author of numerous collections of poetry and has received many honors for his work, including a Guggenheim Fellowship and an Emmy Award for his multimedia project Hope: Living and Loving with HIV in Jamaica. Dawes is also a passionate advocate for the arts and has played a significant role in promoting Caribbean literature globally.

Much of his poetry is deeply personal, often drawing on lived experience to explore universal themes such as love, grief, and the human body. In “Window Art,” Dawes reflects on the loss of his brother, offering a meditation that is both intimate and expansive—grounded in mourning, yet reaching toward gratitude.

Monday, February 23, 2026

Pic of the Day

Not Feeling Well


There’s not much more to say today. I woke up with a migraine and some stomach pains, and my body is making it very clear that it’s not up for much of anything.

Sometimes the only responsible thing to do is listen when your body says, enough. So that’s what I’m doing. No deep thoughts, no long reflections—just rest.

I’m going back to bed and hoping that sleep does what sleep so often can: reset, restore, and heal.

See you tomorrow.

Sunday, February 22, 2026

Pic of the Day

🌈 Perfect Love Casts Out Fear


“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
—1 John 4:18

Coming out seems easier for young people today than it once did. There are rainbow flags in storefront windows, affirming churches in many cities, and public figures who live openly and proudly. And yet—even in a world that appears more accepting—fear still lingers.

For my generation, and certainly for those who came before us, fear was woven into nearly every part of coming out. You could lose your family. You could lose your job. You could lose your church. In some cases, you could lose your life. We learned to measure our words, to watch our gestures, to survive quietly.

For those of us whose formative years unfolded during the height of the AIDS epidemic, fear was relentless. In the small Alabama town where I grew up, being gay meant being presumed sick. It meant whispered conversations. It meant pity at best and condemnation at worst. My mother was a public health nurse, and nearly every gay man she encountered had AIDS. As a young man, it felt inevitable—like coming out was not just a social risk but a death sentence.

But perhaps the deepest fear of all was not illness or rejection by society. It was the fear of rejection by God.

Growing up in the buckle of the Bible Belt, in the Church of Christ, faith shaped everything. I was taught that anyone who was not a member of the Church of Christ was going to Hell. That was presented as certainty. As truth. As doctrine.

When my parents found out I was gay, my mother said through tears, “I don’t want you going to Hell!”

She wasn’t trying to be cruel. She was afraid. Afraid for my soul. Afraid that something about me had placed me outside God’s grace.

But even before she said those words, something inside me already knew: I was not going to Hell for being gay.

By the time I was old enough to think more rationally, I had stopped believing that only one small group of Christians had a monopoly on heaven. I had come to understand God as bigger than our denominational lines. And at my core, I believed something simple and profound: I was a good person. I tried to love people. I tried to be kind. I tried to live with integrity. And good people do not go to Hell because of who they love.

More importantly, Scripture itself began to speak louder than fear.

As 1 John tells us plainly: “There is no fear in love.” Fear imagines punishment. Love promises belonging.

If God is love—as 1 John 4:8 declares—then anything rooted in terror, shame, or condemnation cannot be the final word of God. Romans 8:1 assures us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No condemnation. Not an asterisk. Not a hidden clause. None.

John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world that He gave His Son. The world includes every race, every culture, every orientation, every identity. God’s love was not rationed out to a narrow few. It was poured out for all.

Ephesians 2:8 reminds us, “For by grace you have been saved through faith… it is the gift of God.” Salvation is a gift, not a reward for heterosexuality. Grace is not revoked by honesty.

Psalm 27:1 asks, “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?” When God is our light, fear loses its authority. When God is our salvation, condemnation loses its grip.

This does not mean fear magically disappears. Many LGBTQ+ people still face rejection from families, congregations, and communities. Some churches speak the language of “love” while practicing mere toleration. Others still preach outright exclusion. The wounds are real.

But those voices are not the measure of God’s heart.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.” Notice what God promises: presence. Not abandonment. Not exile. Presence.

And perhaps the most comforting promise is found in Romans 8:38–39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life… nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.” Not family fear. Not church doctrine. Not sexuality. Nothing.

Coming out—whether to others or to ourselves—is often an act of courage. It is also, in many ways, an act of faith. It is choosing truth over secrecy, integrity over fear. It is trusting that the God who created us knows us fully and loves us completely.

And 1 John 4:18 does not say fear never existed. It says perfect love drives it out. The more deeply we root ourselves in God’s love, the less power fear has over us. Fear may knock, but love answers the door.

My mother feared for my soul. But I have come to rest in something stronger than fear: the unshakable love of God.

Perfect love casts out fear.

Not because the world is always safe.

Not because every church is affirming.

But because God’s love is deeper than our doctrines, wider than our denominations, and stronger than our shame.

And that love will never let you go. 🌈