Friday, May 9, 2014

National Masturbation Month


In case you were wondering, May is National Masturbation Month. The celebration of May as National Masturbation Month began in 1995 in San Francisco as a response to the forced resignation of then U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders.

After a speech at the United Nations World AIDS Day in 1994, an audience member asked Elders about masturbation's potential for discouraging early sexual activity. She answered,"I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught."

That was the end of Elders' career as America's first black Surgeon General, but the spark for National Masturbation Month. Offended by Elders' ouster, the ever progressive, pro-sex staff of San Francisco's sex toy and education company Good Vibrations decided to find a way to keep the focus on Elders' unjust firing, and to bring talk about masturbation into the mainstream in just the way Elders had envisioned.

Realizing that large number of folks lacked support and advice to help them enjoy the simple, basic act of masturbation, Good Vibrations sought to provide support, advice, and reassurance for people looking to open their own personal sexual horizons.

And so was born National Masturbation Month. Among the first steps Good Vibrations took was to promote masturbation as healthy, safe and natural way to express one's sexuality, thereby removing much of the shame and stigma have so long colored the act masturbation.

So, is it true, as so many believe that masturbation is so commonplace, natural, pleasurable and healthy that "ninety-eight percent of us masturbate, and the other two percent are liars?" If so, why do we need an entire month to educate people on something they're already enjoying?

The answer is twofold: First, to help those already enjoying themselves to delve further. Second, and most importantly, it looks like plenty of people might still benefit from some encouragement and education.

A recent cross sample study of American adults asked the question: "On average, over the past 12 months, how often did you masturbate?" Only 38 percent of women said they'd masturbated at all during the past year, while 61 percent of men had done so.

2007 article in Sexual and Relationship Therapy notes that masturbation may help men improve immune system function, build resistance to prostate gland infection, promote overall prostate health. Moreover, Australian researchers have shown that frequent masturbation may lower a man's risk of developing prostate cancer.

A survey of men found the more frequently a man masturbates between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to get prostate cancer. In fact, those who masturbated more than five times a week were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer.

These findings were the subject of a 2003 Doonesbury panel by Pulitzer Prize-winning Garry Trudeau. In the panel, one character alludes to masturbation as "self-dating."  Nearly half of the 700 papers which normally syndicate Doonesbury did not to run that strip, proving that public discussion of masturbation is still a thorny issue for some, and perhaps attesting to the need for an observance like National Masturbation Month. 

Earlier studies have shown that rates of masturbation are higher for both men and women with higher education, more frequent sexual thoughts, sexual experimentation before puberty, and more lifetime sexual partners. Moreover, masturbation has documented physical benefits for both men and women, to say nothing of likely emotional and psychological benefits.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Transcendental Sexuality



Probably most of you have experienced something like this during or after sex: a feeling of well-being which goes beyond sensual pleasure, and is caused by a change of consciousness. Perhaps earlier you felt stressed and worried, as if your life was full of problems—but often after sex everything seems miraculously different. Your problems seem to have disappeared and you seem to be glowing inwardly, as if a kind of dynamo has been switched on inside you, filling you with a feeling of completeness and serenity. You might feel tired physically or completely exhausted, in terms of muscular energy, but in terms of life-energy you feel fantastically alive. This is a form of transcendental sex.

When I think of transcendence or transcendentalism, I think of the nineteenth century American philosophical movement of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, and Margaret Fuller.  These transcendentalists believed that society and its institutions—particularly organized religion and political parties—ultimately corrupt the purity of the individual. They have faith that people are at their best when truly "self-reliant" and independent. It is only from such real individuals that true community could be formed.  Though self-reliance can be a strong motivator, we also sometimes need others to help us transcend to a higher existence.

The adjective transcendent means going beyond the limits of ordinary experience or being far better or greater than what is usual.  Transcendence exceeds or surpasses usual limits, that is extending or lying beyond the limits of ordinary experience. It is a state of being beyond comprehension.  When there is an intense connection between two people, you can experience sexuality that is beyond a mere sexual coupling.  The energy can flow between two people in a way that the connection itself is beyond definition.  The result can be an intense love and longing and even need for that person.  It brings an understanding on such an intimate level that the experience is truly mind blowing in its intensity.  The key to this experience is communication and knowing your lover and being able to heighten their pleasure.  I think it is paramount to a transcendental sexual experience that neither partner be selfish lovers.  By providing the pleasure to each other, you reach a different plane of sexual existence that must be two sided and all encompassing.

There's no doubt that the ecstatic feelings that sex can induce are partly connected to chemical changes, such as the release of endorphins. But I believe these transcendent effects are mainly due to the fact that sex has a similar—but often stronger—psychological effect to other ‘spiritual' activities like meditation or contemplating nature. It empties our minds, and intensifies our inner energy. The sheer pleasure of sex creates a state of intense absorption. Our attention is taken away from the normal ‘thought-chatter' of our minds, which quickly begins to subside. This is why we may feel that we don't have any problems—because the worrying thoughts which created the ‘problems' are no longer there. When we have sex there's usually silence, stillness and darkness around us, and our attention is effectively closed to everything beyond the desire and pleasure we feel. As a result, we become quiet and still inside, and our psychic energy - which is normally used up in concentration and perception - intensifies, generating a sense of wholeness and well-being.

Like physical exercise and yoga—although again in a more powerful way—sex also appears to generate new energy inside our bodies, or at least of unblock and ease the flow of energy. People who have transcendent sexual experiences often report feeling that they have awakened new energies inside them. This can occur in many different ways, but in my experience it comes with a certain mental connection.  It's that intellectual sexuality that brings about this strong bond.

Religions tend to see sex as something to be slightly ashamed of, a ‘weakness of the flesh', a part of the lower, instinctive being which we shouldn't pay much attention to, or should even try to overcome. But perhaps not surprisingly, some esoteric religious groups had a more spiritual view of sex. The Tantric sects of Hinduism and Buddhism (which developed in India in the middle ages) see sex as a symbolic expression of the unity of the universe, and believe that sexual partners can directly experience the bliss which is the nature of the absolute reality of the universe. According to Tantra, the whole of the body is filled with divine energy which becomes aroused during sex, and which we can learn to control. And even within Christianity, the heretical medieval sect, the Brethern of the Free Spirit, had a similar attitude: to them a controlled form of sex was as acceptable as a spiritual practice as prayer or meditation.

So since we know that sex is a gateway to higher states of consciousness, perhaps we should place more emphasis on its spiritual side, rather than thinking of it in purely physical or emotional terms. It's one of the most sacred activities of our lives, and has a transformational power even greater than meditation and yoga, or any other spiritual practice.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Ugh!



Woke up 10 minutes late!  Kitchen was flooded, the freezer seems to be leaking. I mopped it best I could but I will have to deal with that when I get home from school.  I missed a spot on my chin shaving, maybe no one will notice.  I hate being so rushed.  I didn't even get my cup of coffee.  

The day has got to get better.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Need You Now



Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Oh, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh, baby, I need you now.

As y'all know from my  Friday and Saturday post, I went to a Lady Antebellum concert on Saturday night.  It was the best concert I have ever been to.  Love and a Theft opened up and sang a few songs, but quite honestly were mostly forgettable.  Next on stage was Scotty McCreery who was energetic and a lot of fun to watch.  Scotty's deep voice just makes me want to melt.  Finally Lady A came on stage.  It was worth the wait.

Lady A was wonderful.  They sang a few songs then as they got ready to sing "American Honey" they brought up some young girls on the stage to sing with them, including One precious little girl with Down's syndrome.  They sang the song with the girls and took a few selfies.  It was one of the cutest, sweetest things I've ever seem.  The picture above was tweeted by Hillary Scott after the show. Then amazingly after a few more songs they walked out into the crowd to a little stage about 100 ft. away and sang a few songs.  The seats we had were great.  They ended the night with the song above as an encore song.  

The lyrics to "Need You Now" describe placing a call to someone in the middle of the night due to being lonely and longing for companionship. Hillary Scott commented on the song, saying that "All three of us know what it's like to get to that point where you feel lonely enough that you make a late night phone call that you very well could regret the next day." Charles Kelley told The Boot that the band's record executives initially had concerns regarding using the lyrics "I'm a little drunk", but convinced the executives to leave the content in the song.  It think that line adds a bit of authenticity to it.  We've probably all had some point when we were awake late at night, unable to sleep, maybe we've been drinking a little, and you have that overwhelming need for that special someone.

There were also cutie a few hot guys at the concert, so there was plenty of eye candy.  Though I didn't hook-up or get any phone numbers, I did have a great time and whether I was sexy looking or not, I felt sexy and confident.  I need to find more places to wear my boots.

The concert was the perfect end to what was a wonderful day.  Lady A puts on a great concert.  If you get the chance to see Lady Antebellum's Downtown Tour, go see it.  It's totally worth it.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Cinco de Mayo



Tequila shots anyone?  I try to limit my tequila intake, unless I'm ready to party and am in the right crowd.  See, tequila makes me horny and very flirtatious.  So whether it's in a margarita, or someone, somehow has convinced me to take tequila shot, everybody better watch out because I'm on the prowl.  Today, is the day for tequila for Americans.  It's Cinco de Mayo, which most Americans thinks means Mexican Independence Day, which it is not.  For those of you who do not know, here is an explanation of Cinco de Mayo:
May 5. Mexican holiday commemorating the Mexican victory over the French at Puebla in 1862. The French army, better-equipped and far larger than the Mexican army, had been sent by Napoleon III to conquer Mexico. The Mexicans, under Gen. Ignacio Zaragoza, defeated the French at Puebla, inflicting serious losses. The French withdrew to the coast but returned the next year to take Puebla; they would control most of Mexico for the next four years. Cinco de Mayo celebrations often include music, dancing, and parades.
In America, we tend to used this as an excuse to drink margaritas and take tequila shots.



I think it's a great day to also celebrate the beauty of Latino men.  I've always heard that there is nothing like a Latin lover.





Sunday, May 4, 2014

God Gave Me You


For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about God's plan for us.  He had suffered an anxiety attack over some issues going on in his life.  I told him that I used to regularly have panic attacks as well.  The world would race around me, and I felt that I could not breathe.  It was in those time that i thought of my greatest comfort, my mother singing "You Are My Sunshine."  I would begin singing the song, and my panic attack would subside.  However, that was only a temporary measure, and the problems were not going away.  I took a long hard look at myself and realized that I was nothing without my faith in God.  Talking to God had gotten me through the fear and confusion of coming to terms with being gay, and many other issues I have faced in my life.  And I realized that I needed to turn to God and depend on him more.

As Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I told my friend that God has a plan for us.  Matthew 7:13-14 says, "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."  We must look and pray to God for guidance if we want to enter through the narrow gate.

This discussion eventually turned to a discussion of if part of God's plan had been for us to meet and become friends.  Without hesitation, I said that it was.  I am fortunate for all of my friends and I believe that God had a purpose in bringing those loved ones into my life.  Sometimes life can be so difficult and stressful, but when we have faith in God, He has a way to relive that pain and stress.  I certainly believe that friends are one of the many, and maybe one of the most important, ways he does this.

"God Gave Me You" is a song written and originally recorded by American contemporary Christian music singer Dave Barnes. Barnes wrote the song after the title came to him while he was walking through London, England. He told Country Weekly that "the lyrics just flowed together with the melody" when he wrote it. Barnes also said that he was inspired by his wife, Annie, who supported him "through all the ups and downs of an artist's career." After releasing it, he said that he received mail from fans who said that the song's message "saved marriages or became a theme for a couple's relationship."  In 2011, country music singer Blake Shelton covered the song for his album Red River Blue. It was released in July 2011 as the second single from this album. Shelton heard Barnes' version of the song on a contemporary Christian station, and said that it inspired him to propose to then-girlfriend Miranda Lambert; the music video included footage from Lambert the night before their wedding.

Both Barnes and Shelton use the song to show the love and support their wives have given them, but I think the words are so universal for anyone who is important in your life.  I have several people in my life that I am lucky that God gave me, and I hope that you too have someone that God gave you to help you through troubled times and in the good as well.  God has a plan for each of us, so ask Him for his guidance in following the right path.

"God Gave Me You"

I've been a walking heartache
I've made a mess of me
The person that I've been lately
Ain't who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you
Gave me you

There's more here than what we're seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You'll always be love's great martyr
And I'll be the flattered fool
And I need you
Yeah!

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you

On my own I'm only
Half of what I could be
I can't do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you, gave me you
He gave me you

Saturday, May 3, 2014

New Boots


New boots for the Lady Antebellum concert in Birmingham tonight.  I hope these boots end up like this by the end of the night.  Something about these boots make me very horny. Anyone who reads this blog going to this concert tonight?

Moment of Zen: Superman





All of my life I've had a fascination and love of Superman.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Sleepy



Yesterday was a long day, for a number of reasons.  There was just a lot to do.  I was talking with friend last night and after I mentioned how tired I was, he ordered me to bed.  As soon as we quit talking and I got undressed, my head hit the pillow and I was sound asleep.  I'm still a bit sleepy this morning.

Also, I got a bit of disappointing news yesterday.  Kacey Musgrave and Kip Moore aren't going to be with Lady Antebellum Saturday but Scotty McCreery an Love and Theft will be with Lady Antebellum.  The concert had been moved from a previous date to Saturday and I guess it messed up the schedules of the artists.  I really had wanted to see Kacey.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Do I Sound Gay?




Confession: I've always been self-conscious about "sounding gay." It's one of the main things that "gives me away" as gay. I knew that my anxiety came from my internalized homophobia telling me: Gay = bad, so sounding gay = bad. A compelling new documentary is bringing together some of the biggest lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) celebrities to discuss a question that probably crosses the mind of every gay man at some point in his life: Do I sound gay?

From director David Thorpe, "Do I Sound Gay?" aims to present an intelligent and and provocative cultural analysis of the "gay voice." Throughout this process, Thorpe talks to linguists, celebrities, historians, voice coaches and total strangers to share their own thoughts and experiences surrounding the idea of 'sounding gay.'

In the tradition of funny-but-serious first-person movies like Supersize Me, Roger and Me and Good Hair, Thorpe encounters a colorful cast of linguists, historians, voice coaches, speech therapists, friends, family, and total strangers on the street, gay and non-gay, who share their wisdom and touching, funny stories about the "gay voice." There are also intimate confessions and hilarious anecdotes from LGBT icons - Margaret Cho, Tim Gunn, Don Lemon, Dan Savage, David Sedaris and George Takei - as they open up about the "gay voice."  Over the course of three years, Thorpe did 165 interviews in four countries.

Here are five reasons David Thorpe gives for making this film and a few comments from me:

Reason No. 1:

Some gay men are self-conscious about "sounding gay," even famous ones like David Sedaris. Let's start hashing out this whole "sounding gay" thing, so we can all be OURSELVES in this small but crucial way.  It's something about me that I've come to own and make it my own.

Reason No. 2:

"Sounding gay" is still a trigger for mockery, bullying and violence. LGBT kids are far more likely to commit suicide or drop out of school because they feel unsafe. Zach King, one of our brave young subjects, was viciously assaulted at school.  I was always made fun of for my "gay voice," sometimes I still am, and it has always, even to this day, raises my hackles.

Reason No. 3:

Hard to believe, but nobody has comprehensively explored the phenomenon of "sounding gay." Voice and sexuality – two fundamental features of human existence, and yet most people don't have a clue how they're related. Instead, we have stupid stereotypes. Let's toss 'em in the trash. Knowledge is power.

Reason No. 4:

A lot of people think it's okay to be gay as long as you don't act - or sound - that way. The daily pressure to cover, hide or "pass" affects many minorities. Let's relieve the pressure.

Reason No. 5:

Our title isn't just a title. Combined with our rainbow tongue logo, it's an empowerment icon, a sneaky, fun, viral way to say it's OK to sound – and be – gay. When the movie gets made, you'll see rainbow tongues everywhere, asking, "Do I Sound Gay?" 


The film is currently engaged in a Kickstarter campaign in order to fund post-production. Check out the video above or visit the project's Kickstarter for more information.