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Love One Another Deeply

“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” — Romans 12:10 

Tomorrow marks the beginning of Pride Month. Across the world, LGBTQ+ people will celebrate their identities, honor those who fought for equality, and remember those whose courage made it possible for many of us to live more openly today.

Before Pride Month begins, however, it is worth reflecting on the foundation upon which any healthy community must be built: love.

In Romans 12:10, Paul writes:

“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.”

At the heart of Christian living is a call to love one another deeply, generously, and selflessly. That command applies not only to our churches and families but also to the relationships and communities we build as LGBTQ+ people.

The phrase “kindly affectionate” speaks of genuine warmth and care for others. It is not merely tolerance or politeness. It is a love that values another person and seeks their well-being. Likewise, “brotherly love” points to the bonds that unite us in friendship, fellowship, and mutual support.

Jesus gave a similar command when He said:

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” — John 15:12

And the Apostle John reminds us:

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” — 1 John 4:7 

These verses do not place limits on who may love or who is worthy of love. Instead, they point us toward a God whose very nature is love and who calls us to reflect that love in our relationships with others.

For many gay men, there is something especially meaningful in the connection between romantic love and brotherly love. Strong same-sex relationships are often built upon both. The man we love is frequently not only a romantic partner but also a trusted friend, confidant, companion, and source of strength. Romantic affection and deep friendship are often woven together in ways that enrich and strengthen both.

Scripture offers many examples of profound devotion between people. One of the most famous is the friendship between David and Jonathan. After Jonathan’s death, David mourned:

“I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me; Your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women.” — 2 Samuel 1:26 

Whatever conclusions people draw about the nature of their relationship, Scripture clearly presents it as one marked by loyalty, sacrifice, affection, and devotion. They honored one another and remained faithful to one another despite tremendous personal risk.

That same spirit should characterize all our relationships today. Whether we are single, dating, married, or surrounded by friends and chosen family, God calls us to be people who love deeply and honor one another generously.

Pride Month is often misunderstood by those outside the LGBTQ+ community. At its best, Pride is not about arrogance or self-centeredness. Rather, it is a rejection of shame and a celebration of the truth that every person is created by God and worthy of dignity and respect. It is about building communities where people are welcomed instead of rejected, supported instead of isolated, and loved instead of condemned.

Paul writes later in this same chapter:

“Be of the same mind toward one another.” — Romans 12:16

And Jesus tells us:

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” — John 13:35

As we prepare to enter Pride Month, may we remember that Christian love is more than a feeling. It is a commitment. It is choosing to care for one another, support one another, and honor one another as beloved children of God.

May we be kindly affectionate toward one another with brotherly love. May we give preference to one another in honor. And may the love we share—between friends, partners, spouses, and chosen family—reflect the boundless love of the God who first loved us.

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Moment of Zen: The Beach

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A Slow Start to Friday

Last night turned into a later night than I had planned. Then, as usual, Isabella decided that breakfast absolutely could not wait and woke me up at 5:00 this morning. After feeding her, I intended to make coffee and start my day, but instead I crawled back into bed and promptly fell asleep again.

I do have my coffee now, but if I’m being honest, I’d still happily go back to sleep. Thankfully, it’s Friday, and I’m working from home today, so I can take things a little easier than usual.

The weekend is just around the corner, and I’m looking forward to a couple of days to relax and recharge. I hope all of you have a wonderful Friday and an even better weekend!

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A Smile and a Wink

There are a few things I always notice about a man. If I’m behind him, it’s obviously his butt, but if I’m facing him, it’s usually his smile or his eyes before my gaze wanders any lower. I think that’s probably true for most of us, whether we admit it or not. I also pay attention to how a man dresses because I appreciate someone who takes pride in how he presents himself and carries himself. I’m not a fan of someone who looks sloppy or careless. I’ll notice his haircut too because even back when I had plenty of hair myself, I always appreciated a man with a good haircut.

Now, while I may lust after a handsome man for all the reasons above, those things alone are not what determine whether I’d want to pursue anything more—assuming he was even interested. What matters next is what comes out of his mouth. I’m attracted to intelligence, but not arrogance. I like warmth, kindness, and friendliness. I’m a shy person, especially when it comes to meeting men, and that’s probably a large part of why I’m still single. I’ve never been particularly good at making the first move or believing someone might actually be interested in me, so I tend to hold back more than I probably should. In some ways, that has become even more true since I lost weight. Even now, I still think people see the awkward overweight guy I used to be. There have been plenty of times when I’ve replayed an interaction in my head afterward and suddenly realized the guy was probably flirting with me and it went completely over my head at the time.

I’ll also admit that if a guy is attractive and friendly, but maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed, I’m perfectly capable of keeping things physical and nothing more—though I rarely go in that direction anymore. These days, I tend to be a bit more selective when it comes to intimate encounters.

With all that said, there is one thing that will always make me weak in the knees: a wink.

If a guy winks at me, I instinctively wink back, and there’s immediately a spark of attraction. Part of it is the confidence behind a wink. It takes a certain personality to do that—to create an instant connection between two people with nothing more than a look. A wink says, “We’re thinking the same thing,” but it also feels like sharing a secret, no matter how small or insignificant that secret might be.

I’m not entirely sure why a wink affects me so much, but I suspect it has something to do with the kinds of guys I was attracted to back in high school, long before I ever allowed myself to admit I was gay. The boys I tended to like had a certain bravado, but they were also friendly. They didn’t immediately look at me and think, “He’s a fag,” and treat me like someone beneath them or someone to avoid. Instead, they saw a nice guy—someone smart, maybe a little awkward and shy, but always kind.

They also tended to be protective of me.

I was picked on a lot in school, mostly because people perceived me as gay, which is probably another reason it took me so long to admit my sexuality to myself. I didn’t want to be the thing everyone mocked or treated as something shameful. It took me a long time to get past that and allow myself to simply be who I was. Even after I came out to most people, it still took me a long time to feel comfortable enough to fully be myself.

When someone bullied me, these guys would often step in. Sometimes it was subtle; other times, it definitely wasn’t. They might throw an insult right back at the bully or shut them down with a joke. And often, after doing it, they’d give me that wink.

It was their way of saying, “I’ve got your back.”

I think most of us can agree on how a man’s physical appearance can affect us, but I’m curious: what is the one thing that always makes you weak in the knees?

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Migraine Fog

This migraine just will not go away. I left work early yesterday because it had gotten so bad, and it only worsened throughout the afternoon and evening. Thankfully, it’s somewhat better this morning, but it’s still lingering enough to make me wish I could simply roll over, pull the covers back up, and go back to sleep.

Unfortunately, life and responsibilities do not always cooperate with migraines. I have a couple of meetings this morning, and unless things suddenly take a turn for the worse before I leave for work, I’ll head in and try to make it through the day. Hopefully, it will stay manageable and not intensify again.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that migraines are exhausting in more ways than one. Even when the pain eases, they leave behind a sort of fog and fatigue that can make even ordinary tasks feel overwhelming. So today, I’ll just focus on getting through what needs to be done and hope for a quiet evening and a better tomorrow.

I hope everyone else’s day is off to a much better start.

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So We’ll Go No More a Roving

So We’ll Go No More a Roving
By George Gordon Byron

So, we’ll go no more a roving
    So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
    And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
    And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
    And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
    And the day returns too soon,
Yet we’ll go no more a roving
    By the light of the moon.

About the Poem

One of the things I’ve always loved about poetry is how a short poem can contain an entire lifetime of emotion. George Gordon Byron’s “So We’ll Go No More a Roving” is one of those poems. It is brief, simple, and deeply human. Beneath its quiet words is a reflection on love, exhaustion, desire, aging, and the realization that even the strongest heart cannot burn endlessly without rest.

There is something especially poignant in the line, “And love itself have rest.” For LGBTQ+ people, especially those who have spent years hiding, searching, or struggling simply to be themselves, that line can strike a particularly deep chord. Sometimes we spend so much of our lives fighting to be accepted, loved, and understood that we forget the soul also needs peace. Byron reminds us that even passion must pause to breathe.

The poem does not deny love or beauty. The moon is still bright, and the heart is still loving. Instead, it acknowledges that we are human beings with limits. There is wisdom in recognizing when to rest, when to be still, and when to simply let ourselves exist quietly beneath the moonlight rather than endlessly chasing it.

“So We’ll Go No More a Roving” was written by Byron in 1817 and published after his death. Though only twelve lines long, it captures themes common to Romantic poetry: love, longing, weariness, mortality, and the tension between passion and limitation.

The poem is believed to reflect Byron’s own exhaustion from the emotional and physical excesses of his life. Byron was famous not only for his poetry but also for his scandals, affairs, travels, and restless spirit. Yet in this poem, there is a surprising quietness. Instead of dramatic heartbreak, the speaker simply acknowledges that endless wandering and endless passion cannot continue forever.

One of the poem’s greatest strengths is its balance between beauty and sadness. The moon is still bright. Love still exists. Desire has not vanished. But the speaker recognizes that the body and soul need rest. It is a gentle meditation on human limits rather than a rejection of love itself.

About the Poet

George Gordon Byron (1788–1824), better known as Lord Byron, was one of the leading figures of the Romantic movement in English literature. Known for works such as Don Juan and Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, Byron became famous throughout Europe for both his poetry and his controversial personal life.

Byron’s relationships, emotional intensity, and defiance of social expectations contributed to his enduring reputation as the archetypal “Byronic hero.” Though discussions of sexuality in his era were often hidden or coded, many scholars have noted Byron’s relationships with both women and men, making him an important figure in queer literary history as well.

He died in 1824 while assisting the Greek fight for independence from the Ottoman Empire, cementing both his literary legend and his reputation as a passionate, restless romantic figure.

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Happy Memorial Day!

I woke up this morning, fed Isabella, and then realized something wonderful—it’s a holiday, and I can go right back to bed. There are few better feelings than knowing you can pull the covers back up, settle in, and drift off for a little while longer without worrying about work.

So that’s exactly what I plan to do.

I hope everyone has a relaxing and peaceful Memorial Day, whether you’re spending it with family, grilling outside, traveling, or simply enjoying a quiet day at home. And today, we should also remember the men and women who gave their lives in service to this country and the sacrifices they made.

As for me and Isabella, we’ll be celebrating the holiday with more sleep.

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Trusting the Unseen Path

“Just as you do not know how the breath comes to the bones in the mother’s womb, so you do not know the work of God, who makes everything.” 

— Ecclesiastes 11:5 

There are moments in life when we desperately want answers. We want to know why certain doors closed, why some prayers seemed unanswered, why our journeys have taken difficult turns, or why we were made the way we are. For many LGBTQ+ Christians, these questions can become especially heavy when faith and identity seem to collide with the expectations of others.

Yet Ecclesiastes reminds us of a profound truth: we do not fully understand the work of God.

The writer points to the mystery of life itself. We cannot see how breath becomes life or how a child is formed in the womb, yet it happens according to the creative work of God. In the same way, we cannot always see where God is leading us or fully understand His purposes while we are living through them. Faith often means trusting before we understand.

The Bible repeatedly reminds us that God’s vision is greater than our own:

“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11

That promise was spoken to people living in uncertainty and exile. They could not see the ending of the story yet, but God could. Many LGBTQ+ believers know what it feels like to live in uncertainty — wondering if there is a place for us in the Church, questioning whether we are truly loved by God, or fearing that our lives somehow fall outside His plan. But Scripture consistently tells us otherwise: God does not abandon His children.

Psalm 139 beautifully declares:

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” — Psalm 139:14

You are not an accident. Your capacity to love, your compassion, your resilience, your spirit — none of these are mistakes. Even when others fail to understand you, God still sees you fully and lovingly.

Sometimes we wish God would reveal the entire roadmap of our lives. Instead, He often gives us just enough light for the next step. Proverbs reminds us:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5–6

Trusting God does not mean pretending life is easy or that we never struggle. It means believing that even when we cannot see the whole picture, God is still at work within it. The painful seasons, the lonely moments, the unexpected detours — none of them are wasted in God’s hands.

Romans 8:28 offers another reassurance:

“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

Notice that Paul does not say all things are good. Some experiences are genuinely painful. But God can still bring goodness, growth, healing, and love out of even the hardest chapters of our lives.

Faith is often about learning to trust the unseen work of God. Just as seeds grow beneath the soil long before we witness the flower, God may be shaping our lives in ways we cannot yet perceive. What feels confusing today may someday reveal itself as grace.

So if you find yourself uncertain about the future, remember this: God’s understanding is far greater than ours, and His love for you is deeper than fear, shame, or rejection. You may not understand every step of your journey, but you can trust that God walks beside you through all of it.

And sometimes, faith simply means taking the next step while believing that God already sees the road ahead.

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Moment of Zen: Meditation

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A Quiet Start to a Holiday Weekend

I’m working from home this morning and then have the afternoon off. Because of that, when Isabella decided at 4 a.m. that she absolutely needed breakfast, I got up to feed her and then crawled right back into bed. Since that completely disrupted my normal routine, I almost forgot to write a post this morning. Thankfully, I remembered before the coffee had fully kicked in.

Hopefully, today will be easy and go smoothly. I have a few errands to run this afternoon, and then I plan to settle into a relaxing weekend. At least, that’s the hope.

For those of you outside the United States, you may not realize that this is a major holiday weekend here. Monday is Memorial Day, which means this weekend is generally considered the unofficial beginning of summer. Of course, you wouldn’t know that from the weather in Vermont. We’re under a freeze warning this morning. While people in warmer places are probably headed to the beach or the lake, I’m sitting here with coffee wondering if I should turn the heat back on.

I do wish I was headed somewhere exciting, but my only possible plans are to see The Mandalorian & Grogu, which opens in theaters today. I don’t go to the movies very often anymore, but I really enjoyed The Mandalorian, and I’d like to see the movie. Then again, holiday weekends usually mean crowded theaters, so I may wait and see how ambitious I feel.

My other thought—though not a particularly serious one—was going to the Burly Bears gathering tonight in Burlington. It’s one of the few gay men-centered social events in Vermont and takes place at one of the bars there. Every month has a different theme, and tonight’s is “007,” so it’s all James Bond-inspired. If I had a really great suit—or better yet, a tuxedo—I might actually consider going. Unfortunately, I haven’t bought a new suit since losing weight, and I don’t really want to invest in one until I’m certain my weight has stabilized or unless I suddenly need one for a job interview. So, James Bond sophistication may have to wait.

If you’re in the United States, do you have any Memorial Day weekend plans? And for everyone else, what are your plans for the weekend? 

Whatever you do—or don’t do—I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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