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Undressing You

Undressing You

By Witter Bynner

 

Fiercely I remove from you

All the little vestiges—

Garments that confine you,

Things that touch the flesh,

The wool and the silk

And the linen that entwine you,

Tear them all away from you,

Bare you from the mesh.

And now I have you as you are,

Nothing to encumber you—

But now I see, caressing you,

Colder hands than mine.

They take away your flesh and bone,

And, utterly undressing you,

They tear you from your beauty

And they leave no sign.

 

About the Poet

 

Witter Bynner was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1881. He graduated from Harvard University in 1902. After college, he worked as a newspaper reporter and, later, as the assistant editor of McClure’s magazine.

 

Bynner published his first poetry collection, An Ode to Harvard (Small, Maynard, & Co.), in 1907. He was also the author of New Poems (Alfred A. Knopf, 1960); Take Away the Darkness (Alfred A. Knopf, 1947); The Beloved Stranger (Alfred A. Knopf, 1919); Tiger (M. Kennerley, 1913); and several other poetry collections.

 

In 1922, Bynner settled in Santa Fe, New Mexico with his partner, Robert Hunt. He died there on June 1, 1968.

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Summer Splash

If you are a regular reader, then you know that I grew up in rural Alabama in a very religious family. When I was growing up, I didn't know any gay people, and being gay was an abstract concept. I knew that being gay meant that it referred to men who liked other men in a sexual way. I also knew it was very bad. I had been called faggot, gay, sissy, etc., all my years growing up. I knew I didn't belong or fit into that world. I was different, but it would take many years before I could let myself realize that I was, in fact, gay. It took longer to come to terms with accepting who I was. But while I never belonged in the straight world, I never felt like I belonged in the gay world either. Honestly, I never felt I was accepted in either.

I have tried since I moved to Vermont to step out of my comfort zone and become part of the gay community here, but I still feel like I never fit in. I wasn't in great shape; I was shy; and, let's face it, I was awkward. I tried to venture more into the gay community here and there, but I just never seemed to be comfortable enough to succeed, and it wasn't like anyone was trying to help. I've never had gay friends other than a few guys that I dated and friends I met through this blog. So, when I came across information about a gay retreat center called Easton Mountain, just a few hours away in Greenwich, NY, I was interested in knowing more. Their website says their programs promote connection, personal growth, fun, and community. Eventually, I got up the nerve to book one of their retreats: "Summer Splash: Move Into Your Primal Self."

I'd never done anything like this before. I had gone to gay events and bars by myself, but never a retreat like this. Things have been a little rough lately. There are some issues at work and some personal issues. I needed a break. I needed a retreat away from my life. So, I decided, "what the hell" I'll try something that will push my boundaries and help me step out of my comfort zone. From the description of this weekend, not to mention the affordability as a first-timer (they have a special newbie rate), I decided this one was the one. I was going to take the plunge and go with the flow and see what happens.

When I arrived at Easton Mountain on Thursday, I was nervous but determined to make the most of my little vacation. I was ready to step out of my comfort zone, but when I got there, checked in, and began meeting people, I realized I could not step out of my comfort zone. I was in my comfort zone at Easton Mountain. That's not to say I did things that I would not have been comfortable with the day before, but the community there made me feel safe and included. There was no judgment, just a welcoming attitude from everyone (if there was any judgment, people kept it to themselves and didn't let it show). Each person there, whether staff or visitors like me, made me feel like part of a community. Everyone was welcoming and accepting.

The activities over the weekend were great, and each one put you more and more at ease. Everything was optional (even clothing, LOL). We weren't forced to participate in any of the workshops or events. I did opt out of a few things, particularly morning yoga. I did yoga on the first morning and realized it was not for me. Mostly though, I participated in as much as I could, even though I might have thought something was a bit silly when I first read about it, but I never really felt silly, and if I did, it was because we were meant to feel silly. There was a camaraderie among gay men at Easton that I'd never experienced anywhere else. I think we all know what it's like to go to a gay event, a drag show, a celebration, whatever, and there were little cliques, and if you were not in that clique, you probably never would be. The gay community can be very exclusive at times. Easton, though, was very different. I've never felt anything that was so inclusive.

And the icing on the cake was that the food was phenomenal, and the dinner conversations were great. It did not matter who I sat with, we were going to laugh and chat and have a good time eating our delicious meals. If you ever go, I really hope they do the barbecue rib dinner. It was so good, and the homemade barbecue sauce was exceptional.

If you ever want to experience something like this, I would really recommend Easton Mountain. There is an instant feeling of community there. As everyone was leaving, people went around and hugged everyone they met. When I told staff members goodbye, they all hugged me and said they hoped I'd come back. At any other place, I would think they just wanted the repeat business, but with Easton, it really seemed like they really want you to come. When you go to an Easton Mountain event, you become part of the Easton Mountain family, and for me, I can't wait to go back. Will I go back? I'm not sure. I want to, but at this point in my financial life, I'm not sure I will be able to. With that being said, the prices are very reasonable. Where else are you going to find a vacation where food, lodging, and such a welcoming environment for basically $200 a day. I certainly can't go to Montreal for that or basically anywhere else. But, like a lot of people, money is tight at the moment.

Honestly, as I was driving away, I had tears in my eyes. I wish I never had to leave, but it's back to the real world today. I really do hope I get back to Easton sooner rather than later. I can't recommend it enough. Don't expect 5-star resort accommodations, but expect good food, good friends, and comfortable accommodations. I really don't think you'd be disappointed. Maybe I will see you there sometime.

Easton Mountain gets ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️  from me.

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When You’re Smiling

Therefore encourage each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.

—1 Thessalonians 5:11

 

There is a quote by Dolly Parton that says, “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” I think of days when I am feeling depressed or worried, and it’s hard to put a smile on my face. It is times like that when you need someone to remind you there is a reason to smile. Smiles can be infectious. I know if I see someone smile, I smile back. I do the same thing when someone winks at me (I wink back), or if someone yawns around me (it causes me to yawn). 

 

If we think about the Golden Rule, i.e., Luke 6:31, “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise,” if you want someone to smile at you, shouldn’t you do the same for them. You never know what someone else is going through. They may be in a bad mood one day and make you angry, or they are just a miserable person on a regular basis. We should think about why they are in a bad mood or such a miserable person. Something in their life is not going well, and we just don’t know what it is. Therefore, sometimes all you can do with people like that is to be friendly and smile. It may just be what they need.

 

Romans 14:19 says, “Therefore, let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may build up another.” We deal with difficult people every day, but if we stoop to their level and are also difficult, then we are not pursuing “the things which make for peace.” Instead, we are just reinforcing their difficult behavior. When I deal with difficult people, and I do nearly every weekday, I smile, I am pleasant, and I don’t let them know how miserable I think they are.

 

In the song "When You're Smiling" popularized by Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, and others, it says:

 

When you're smilin', when you're smilin'

The whole world smiles with you

When you're laughin', when you're laughin'

The sun comes shinin' through

 

But when you're cryin', you bring on the rain

So stop that cryin', be happy again

Keep on smilin', 'cause when you're smilin'

The whole world smiles with you

 

When you're smilin', when you're smilin'

The whole world, it smiles with you

When you're laughin', oh babe, when you're laughin'

The sun would-a come shining through

 

But when you're cryin', you bring on the rain

So, stop that sighin', come on and be happy again

Keep on smilin', 'cause when you're smilin', baby

The whole world smiles with you

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Moment of Zen: Saunas

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Rainbow History Class

Early this week I finished listening to the audiobook of Rainbow History Class: Your Guide Through Queer and Trans History (Hardcover, Kindle, Audible) by Hannah McElhinney. The author began Rainbow History Class by posting one-minute videos on TikTok. Eventually, it grew into the book Rainbow History Class. The book is meant to be a crash course in LGBTQ+ history from the ancient world through to lesser-known moments in recent history. While there wasn’t much in this book that I did not know, McElhinney is Australian, so the parts about Australia’s LGBTQ+ history was definitely interesting and new information.

 

The book is well-written, and it is just as it is described, a crash course in LGBTQ+ history. However, at just 216 pages, it can’t come close to covering all of LGBTQ+ history (and it’s not meant to). McElhinney does a good job in delving into more detail about the vignettes in LGBTQ+ history that she chose to discuss. 

 

Overall, I enjoyed the book and would recommend it.