For some reason, I felt a bit blue last night. I don't know what it was, but I had been feeling down since I left work. Work went well today, so I know that's not the problem. I was really missing my friends and family last night. I wish it knew what triggered these episodes. It's like a feeling of great sadness and longing. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate everything about myself. It's a pity party, and I know it. I'll be all right, I know, but the only solution for last night was to go to bed early and wake up hoping today is a better day.
4 comments:
Oh...
For a guy whose blog is on my daily "must read" list I'd say there are lots of things to like about you. Remember that post of Tuesday? "I don't believe you"?
Whatever your perceived faults and imperfections you write and communicate well and show your self to have a depth of soul and spirit which are not only endearing, but often speak to me heart-to-heart.
Peace.
It is very difficult to face life all by oneself. I do feel for you. But contrast your present situation with what you faced last year. What you need most of all this moment is a circle of friends. What about buying that dining table so that you can invite people over?
The Academic
I enjoy your blog, but (and here I am speaking as someone who recently stopped actively blogging after more than a decade) perhaps you would find some of the time better spent having coffee with colleagues or scoping out a new church community each week or such.
Your remark about "I hate the way I look ..." reminded me of the great Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" with the line "I want to change my clothes, my hair, my face."
And as he says in the song, you can't start a fire without a spark. We know you can spark(le) and we want others to see it in person. I hope you will see the spark reflected in Someone's eyes.
Great reply - find it applicable to myself as well...
Post a Comment