Masculinity Ode

 

Masculinity Ode

By Ally Ang

 

I used to think my body craved  

annihilation. An inevitability,  

like the slow asphyxiation 

of the earth. Yoked to this body  

by beauty, its shallow promises  

I was desperate to believe, 

too fearful to renounce my allegiance  

even with its hand closing 

around my throat. When I chose  

myself, I chose surrender. God  

is the river that remakes me 

in its image. I didn’t know what  

was waiting on the other side.  

I swam through it anyway.

 

 

About This Poem

 

“I contemplated transitioning for many years before I took the leap, but I let fear—of violence and rejection, of how I would be perceived, of my own masculinity and masculinity in general—hold me back. This poem is a celebration of the divine and liberating act of choosing one’s happiness despite that fear.” —Ally Ang

 

I found the interview Ang did with Heretic Hereafter, “The Intimate, Erotic Love of God” to be very interesting.

 

 

About The Poet

Ally Ang is a gaysian poet and editor based in Seattle. They are the author of Let the Moon Wobble, forthcoming from Alice James Books in Fall 2025. 

 

Ang’s work has been published in Queer Nature: A Poetry Anthology (Autumn House Press 2022), Nepantla: An Anthology Dedicated to Queer Poets of Color (Nightboat Books 2018), The Margins, The Journal, and elsewhere. They are a 2023 National Endowment for the Arts Creative Writing Fellow, a 2023 MacDowell fellow, a 2022 Jack Straw Writers Program Fellow and a 2022 Tin House Summer Workshop participant. 

 

Ang is an editor with Game Over Books, the author of the chapbook Monstrosity (Damaged Goods Press 2016), and the co-editor of an anthology of Southeast Asian art and writing titled All the Oils: On Friendship, Sex, and Other Warmths (Ginger Bug Press 2021).

 

Ang has received grant support from the National Endowment for the Arts, Artist Trust, and Arts Connect International. Their work has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, Best of the Net, Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy, and Bettering American Poetry. They have been featured at events including Arts Connect International’s Arts Equity Summit, the University of Washington Recognition Gala, Wellesley College’s Trans Day of Visibility Celebration, and more. 

 

Ang holds a BA in Sociology from Wellesley College and an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Washington. They currently work at Forward Together, a reproductive justice non-profit grounded in queer and trans liberation.