Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Nothing Twice

Nothing Twice 
by Wislawa Szymborska (1923 - 2012)

Nothing can ever happen twice.
In consequence, the sorry fact is
that we arrive here improvised
and leave without the chance to practice. 

Even if there is no one dumber,
if you’re the planet’s biggest dunce,
you can’t repeat the class in summer:
this course is only offered once. 

No day copies yesterday,
no two nights will teach what bliss is
in precisely the same way,
with precisely the same kisses. 

One day, perhaps some idle tongue
mentions your name by accident:
I feel as if a rose were flung
into the room, all hue and scent. 

The next day, though you’re here with me,
I can’t help looking at the clock:
A rose? A rose? What could that be?
Is it a flower or a rock? 

Why do we treat the fleeting day
with so much needless fear and sorrow?
It’s in its nature not to stay:
Today is always gone tomorrow.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Lazy Weekend

There is not a lot to write today. I spent a lazy weekend binging on episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and eating takeout Chinese food. Honestly, there isn't much more to report. Isabella and I just lazed around. It was a good weekend after a very busy week. This week will also be busy. I have two receptions to attend (I may only go to one of them), and I'm sure there is still more to do to get our new exhibit ready for the opening.

Sunday, August 28, 2016


I received an email the other day about getting together a group of gay Church of Christ members or former members. I know that some of you have found my blog through my posts on being gay in the Church of Christ, and so I know that some of you grew up in the church or are still in the church and might be struggling with being gay and a member. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” I've always advocated a regular group of gay Church of Christ members but have found little interest, though I still think it is worthwhile. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

If you are interested in being in such a group, please contact me and I will put you in contact with the person who emailed me.

Friday, August 26, 2016


I may have been a bit blue the last few nights, but I have honestly been enjoying work. I’ve been busy, which is not something that I can usually say. Often I am waiting for people to interview, trying to find people to interview, and contacting people about interviews, which is the hardest parts of my job.  The easy part comes when I am being used as a historian as opposed to an oral historian. I love being an oral historian, I love interviewing the people, when I can find someone to interview. However, our new exhibit is something on which I am considered an expert (although I don't always feel like one even with a master's degree in the subject).
I have been doing a lot of writing for the exhibit. You may not think about it, but all of the labels telling about stuff in an exhibit have to be written by someone. For this exhibit, I have done much of the writing and what I haven’t written, I have edited. To say that I love doing this would be an understatement. I wish that this was my job. It has been discussed that education coordinator be added to my job title. If that was the case, and it may become a possibility, then I would be writing curriculum to go with the exhibits, plus I would be putting together educational programs, like the reading and discussion group that I am already coordinating.
If they ever get the museum studies program going, I would also be a faculty member, which is what I really went to graduate school to do, though it didn’t work out. There are lots of possibilities with my job, and the busier I am the more I like it. I know that can’t be said for a lot of jobs, but I like to stay busy when I am at work. One thing about when I was teaching, there was no down time. Yes, I had a free period, but that was spent working to get things graded and making out assignments and tests. If it hadn’t been for the students, I would have loved teaching, but the students were just too rowdy and out of control.  I hated discipline. Now, I don’t have to worry about that. It’s just a matter of doing my job and helping where and when I can.

It’s nice when your boss and your coworkers tell you on a regular basis that they are so glad that I came to work there. However, just being appreciated has not been enough to bring me out of my depression. I wish it was, but I miss home, I miss my friend I lost, and I miss being nearer to family.  I don’t mind living away from my family, in fact, I prefer it, but I wish I was at least within driving distance. 

Thursday, August 25, 2016


For some reason, I felt a bit blue last night. I don't know what it was, but I had been feeling down since I left work. Work went well today, so I know that's not the problem. I was really missing my friends and family last night. I wish it knew what triggered these episodes. It's like a feeling of great sadness and longing. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate everything about myself. It's a pity party, and I know it. I'll be all right, I know, but the only solution for last night was to go to bed early and wake up hoping today is a better day.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Fell Asleep

I fell asleep last night before I could get a post written.