Love That Surpasses Knowledge

“…that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

—Ephesians 3:17–19

We talk about love so often in the church that it sometimes risks becoming a hollow word—one that gets tossed around without really being felt. It’s a word recited in creeds and sermons yet rarely allowed to transform our lives. But Ephesians 3:17–19 invites us to pause and consider just how immense divine love truly is. It’s not a fleeting feeling or a conditional offering. It is described as surpassing knowledge, a love that breaks through the barriers of intellect and explanation, reaching into the core of our being.

For LGBTQ+ people, love can often be a complicated word. We’ve been told we love the wrong people. We’ve been excluded from pulpits, pews, and families in the name of “love.” But that kind of love—the one that draws lines and builds walls—is not the love Paul speaks of in Ephesians. That love is not of Christ. Divine love, agape, is the exact opposite. It does not diminish us; it anchors us.

The ancient Greeks understood love in more nuanced ways than a single word could express. Scripture echoes this richness:

1. Eros is passionate love, romantic and physical. It’s the love that often gets sidelined or condemned for queer people, even though it reflects our sacred longing to be fully known and desired. 

Though the Bible rarely uses the term eros directly, it acknowledges the power of desire and affection. In Song of Songs 8:6–7, love is portrayed as an irresistible force:

“Set me as a seal upon your heart… For love is strong as death… Many waters cannot quench love.”

Queer love, romantic and erotic, is often erased in religious contexts, but these verses celebrate longing and passion as part of the human and sacred experience.

2. Philia is the love of friendship, a deep bond between equals. LGBTQ+ communities have often found strength and healing in this kind of love—chosen families, safe friendships, and solidarity in struggle.

Jesus himself demonstrates philia when he speaks of the bond between friends in John 15:13:

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

For many LGBTQ+ folks, chosen family and close friendships have provided sanctuary when biological families could not. This kind of love—reciprocal, loyal, and selfless—is no less holy.

3. Storge refers to familial love, the kind that comes naturally between parents and children or siblings. Sadly, many of us have experienced the absence of this love—but we have also seen how it can be rebuilt in the spiritual family of affirming communities.

Romans 12:10 uses the word philostorgos, a compound of philia and storge, when Paul encourages the church:

“Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.”

This type of affection binds us together in communities of care—where bonds may not be based on blood, but on spiritual kinship and mutual support.

4. And then there is Agape—the love Paul points us to here. This is the divine, unconditional love of God. Agape doesn’t depend on who you are, what you’ve done, or who you love. It is love for love’s sake. It is God’s love, lavished upon you simply because you exist.

Agape is the word most often used in the New Testament when describing God’s love—and the love we are called to imitate. It is both the love we receive and the love we give. 1 John 4:7–8 puts it beautifully:

“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God… for God is love.”

This is not a passive love. It is radical, universal, and moral. Agape calls us to love not just those who are easy to love, but also the stranger, the marginalized, even our enemies. As Jesus says in Luke 6:27:

“But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”

Agape is what roots us and grounds us, as Ephesians says. It is the soil from which we grow. And unlike the narrow definitions of love we may have heard preached in judgment, agape is radical in its inclusivity. It embraces the outcast. It honors the queer body. It affirms trans identities. It does not ask us to be straight, celibate, or ashamed. It simply says: You are beloved. You are mine.

For queer people of faith, agape is both comfort and commission. It tells us we are already loved beyond measure—and it calls us to embody that same love in the world. It’s not always easy. But when we live from this love, we become living testimonies of God’s grace, justice, and welcome.

God’s love is an expansive and boundless love. God loves us beyond condition and with a love that knows no boundaries. God is closest to us in our time of need and when others pushed us away because of the lies of conditional love. He planted agape deep in our soul. Jesus taught us to rest in the agape that sees us, embraces us, and calls us whole. His love overflow in us, so that we may become a reflection of His divine welcome to others. He teaches us to love as He loves—without fear, without limits, without shame. As 1 John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”