I was inspired to write this post by a post from Davey Wavey’s always inspiring blog, Break the Illusion.
Many guys are obsessed with sex, gay or straight, it doesn’t matter. And contrary to what many people believe women are just as obsessed with sex. Gay men do often get stereotyped as the world’s biggest horn dogs, but there are good reasons for this.
For one, we’ve got plenty of testosterone. Gay or straight, testosterone does increase the sex drive. When the hormones start flowing in our teenage years, a fascination with the human body emerges, and soon after we figure out how to masturbate and the world changes for us. For straight guys, they become fascinated with women, and the world accepts them and welcomes them to the world of machismo. For gay guys, we become fascinated with men, and we are told that we are perverts and should be ashamed of ourselves. When it comes down to it, gay men and straight men are no less obsessed with sex, it’s just the amount that we get to show our obsession. Gay teenagers often have to hide this obsession and it just grows until there is a point where we are able to express it. Often this point becomes our slutty phase.
The expression of that obsession, though, may be a bit different. Women experience tremendous pressure to refrain from promiscuous sex. If a woman has many sex partners, she’s labeled a slut or a whore. If a man has many sex partners, he’s labeled a stud – and his buddies might give him a high-five. Sexual promiscuity among men isn’t as taboo as it is among women, and in some ways, I think this gives men a mental green light. And when you have two men with mental green lights together, well… there’s no brakes.
So we might have lots of testosterone, less of a stigma on promiscuity and no path to marriage – but I wonder how much more sex we’re actually having? Are gay men actually more promiscuous?
It’s worth noting that there are plenty of gay men that aren’t promiscuous (I’ve been through my slutty phase and I’m not very promiscuous anymore.). And that the sex-obsessed label that is applied to our community isn’t accurate for all people, everywhere. It’s obviously a stereotype. It’s also worth noting that I don’t think promiscuous sex is necessarily a bad thing, so long as the parties involved find it fulfilling – and, of course, that it is practiced safely.
When all is said and done, I think the obsession with sex isn’t a gay thing. It’s a human thing. I think that in our younger days, we often deny ourselves, sometimes even denying who we are. When we finally comes to terms with who we are, we can go wild a lot of the time. Think of it like this, it was always the preachers daughter who was the wildest. They are constantly denied, then when the got the chance they went wild. I think a lot of us as gay men are the same way. We finally free ourselves of our mental restraints and then we are able to explore more freely.
What do you think? Are gay guys obsessed with sex?