Whispers

The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered.

—Proverbs 11:9 

 

I grew up in a very small county church. We only had about a dozen members, though it grew to about two dozen by the time I went to college. I remember that before church started, everyone talked about what had happened during the last week. Sometimes, this was just neighborly news and was good natured, but then there were times when it was just a group of people gossiping about others. Gossip is not something we should spread, though I know that can be very difficult. I admit that I can be a bit of a gossip at times. We probably all can, but I am also sure that we have all been the subject of gossip. Back when I was a teacher at a small private school, there was always gossip about different teachers, students, or their parents, but I was also often the source of gossip because, in a way, my sexuality was an open secret. I never confirmed I was gay except to a select few who I could trust implicitly because if I had been openly gay, I would have lost my job. So, my sexuality was often a source of gossip. 

 

Everyone has experienced the harm of gossip before. Whether the people talking didn't mean direct harm, the result of gossip is always broken trust and hurt feelings. Gossip can be defined as information about the behavior or personal life of other people, often without the full truth revealed or known. God's Word warns us to stay away from people who gossip and to guard our words when we speak about others. James 4:11 says, “Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law, and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.” Often, people gossip because they are judging others with statements like “Did you hear about so and so? I can’t believe they would do that.” We often hide behind gossip to make ourselves look better or to deflect from our own issues.

 

I was reading a book by A.J. Truman called Out of My Mind (It’s part of the Browerton University series of m/m romance novels.) In it, one of the characters is Jewish and worries about the gossip at temple. The following passage jumped out to me:

Whispers was what he called temple gossip. Temples and churches claimed that their main purpose was a place of worship. That was only a front. They served as gossip chambers for communities, places where people went to judge and be judged. He had confirmed it with his non-Jewish friends, too. The news floating in between the pews held more importance to congregants than what was being said on stage. It was like gossiping inside a church or temple allowed people to be instantly absolved of their sins.

Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends.” We sometimes think that gossip is harmless, but if we are gossiping, then we are most likely causing harm, especially when the gossip is either untrue or does not tell the whole story. The Bible talks about slander which means making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. Slander can destroy someone's marriage, job, wealth, and family. The tongue has power, and we must be careful with how we use our words. The Bible tells us what words we should speak and which we should not. Proverbs 10:18 provides the following wisdom, “Whoever hides hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.”

 

More often than not, when someone spreads gossip about someone’s sexuality, they are judging that person and being unkind. Ephesians 4:29 advises us, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Gossip is usually disguised as a friendly invitation for fellowship but contains a disastrous disease inside. Gossip is like a cancer, spreading like wildfire through gossipers. Have you ever heard a Christian talking bad about someone with the same voice they use to proclaim their Christianity? Their own image becomes tarnished as their gossip poisons the reputation of the one they are gossiping about. This sting of betrayal throws shade on the light of Jesus that is supposed to shine from within us. James 1:26 says, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.”

 

Gossip can have widespread consequences. It’s not just a small group that it can harm, but it can harm thousands at once if it is spread in the social media and 24-hour news stations of our current times. And as long as there have been newspapers, there have been gossip columnists, some who purposely ruined other people’s lives. The political world today is full of gossip and hatred. Groups like QAnon spread harmful rumors and conspiracy theories that have no basis in fact or have been taken out of context. Gossip is often giving information without the correct context. All you have to do is what news media like Fox News for just a few minutes to see how quickly they take words out of context and twist them to their own use for spreading hatred and distrust. Conspiracy theories are the worst form of gossip because they can harm to a much wider group of people. Politicians love to gossip or tell half-truths, and we will hear more and more of the lies that are spread through politics. 

 

While gossip can be entertaining and can seem harmless, it’s not. We may tell one person in confidence, but it will spread from there. Most people can’t help themselves from gossiping, and I know I am one of them. However, I try to do better, and if the people of the world tried to do better, not just with gossiping, but with all aspects of their lives, then we would live in a better and safer world.