I have realized that I need to get away. I have not taken a vacation just for me in nearly four years, i.e., before the pandemic. I have had so much on my mind recently, and it has not been good for me. I am thinking of going to a gay men’s retreat for a weekend in June. Have any of you ever visited Easton Mountain Retreat in Greenwich, NY? If you have, let me know what you think. It is described as:
Easton Mountain is a community, retreat center, and sanctuary created by gay men as a gift to the world. Through workshops, programs, and events, we provide opportunities to celebrate, heal, transform, and integrate body, mind, and spirit. We offer our land, rich in beauty and wisdom, as a home to a community that extends beyond the land. We are a worldwide fellowship of people enriched by our connection to Easton Mountain. This fellowship is a force for positive change in the world. Read More
Their Summer Splash Weekend is billed as a weekend to “get out of your mind.” Here is an excerpt from the description: “This weekend, we invite you to come to Easton Mountain to get out of your mind, to stop using your brain’s logic, forget about social standards and stop using words to try to understand the beauty of being a human and explore the primal self.” Honestly, this sounds like something I desperately need right now.
Although I know myself well enough to realize I will be nervous going to something like this and knowing no one else there, maybe, that is exactly what I need. The whole thing sounds fun and liberating. I need to get out of my head. One of the workshops is “The Liberating Power of Pride,” a reflective discussion focusing on what pride means, what it means to liberate ourselves from heteronormativity, and discover who we are as gay men in the world today. As someone who took a long time to be comfortable in my own skin as a gay man, and something I still struggle with, maybe this will be a bit therapeutic.
I need to learn to be more confident as a gay man. I worry too much about what others think of me or if I am going to accidentally offend or annoy someone. I do not expect a weekend gay men’s retreat is going to give me the self-esteem I need or to make me comfortable in my own body and show the world my true self. All of that takes much longer than three days. I have been working on it all my life, and I don’t think we ever fully reach it since we will always be our own worst enemies.
Furthermore, where else am I going to get an all-inclusive weekend away for just a few hundred bucks. I’d love to go up to Montreal, but that gets expensive, as is any number of other possibilities around here. What I know, though, is that I need to do something for myself. I spend too much time worrying about things that are beyond my control, feeling guilty for things that I either did not do or couldn’t do anything about.
So, if anyone has ever been to one of the weekend retreats at Easton Mountain, please let me know what you thought.
8 comments:
Joe, sorry to see you've been struggling so much these past few weeks. I don't know anything about the place you posted but think a retreat of some kind is a good idea for someone as spiritual as you. Hopefully the place you choose will be good for you. I xthink you are centered enough and know yourself well enough to know what works for you and what doesn't.
Idem JimNS . Go for it . Objective if you see that it does not suit you: leave quickly; do not let yourself be locked up by a sect.
LMAO UVDP. I thought your use of the word "sect" could stir all kinds of thoughts as to why to stay or not. 🤣
Hello Joe,
Let me weigh in as well.
I would see if I could find any unbiased reviews. I just don't you to be involved in any of this pseudo-self-help crap and be out some money. Or some Jim Jones day camp. Also, I don't want this retreat to be a time of all sex and debauchery. Well, maybe a little.
In reading your blog for several years now, I get the sense that you know who you are and what works for your sensibilities. It's great to get out of one's head. We can be our own worse enemy.
"I worry too much about what others think of me or if I am going to accidentally offend or annoy someone." Oh honey, we need to curtail that at once. I am a little older than you and trust me walking on eggshells is not a good thing. If you really think about it the "offend" or "annoy" is on them. If you are coming from a good heart then that's all you can expect.
I used to be in a relationship with a man years ago. He was ten years older than me so his worldview was a little different from mine. He was so worried to the point of heart papulations of folks knowing he was gay. He had to talk and walk a certain way. In a restaurant, I could not sit next to him. I could not pay for any meal. He was the man damn it! I had to sit across. I could not drive anywhere with him in the car. I remember one time we went to a department store to buy some clothes and whatnot. The queen behind the fragrance county asked my partner to see what his "boyfriend" thought of the scent. Oh my god!! You thought I would be ordered to the car at any moment. After the fact he went on and on about how did he know we were together. I finally had to put my foot down. I told him that I did not care what people thought of me. If they figured out I was gay, then I am gay. I forcibly stated that folks around us are living their lives as they see fit then why can't I. As long I am respectful of others and not acting like a maniac then whose business is it of who I sleep with. Let's just say the relationship was not long-lasting. Just live your life, Joe. Be kind to others, don't kick dogs, and be respectful BUT don't dim your light because of others. No!!
Maybe you don't want to do anything structured but just have some time alone and enjoy the location you have chosen. Be still. That is good as well. Many times these days we have to go, go, go. We have to fill every waking moment with stimuli. Be still. Listen. Learn. Act.
Uncle Victor is off his soapbox.
Be well,
Victor
JimNS, thanks for the encouragement.
UVDP, I promise this is not any kind of cult thing. I have spoken to some people who are familiar with this place.
Victor, it looks more like a free spirit, let go of yourself kind of retreat. As I told uvdp, I have heard from others that it is a nice place, and I won't drink any Kool-Aid, LOL. I think I am fairly well-centered, but I need to get out of my own head on occasion and let what little hair I have left down. The "annoying" part comes from work where some of my coworkers have tried their best to "silo" me. When asked to explain themselves, they said that I talk too much and am annoying. When I told my doctor about this the other day, he said he'd known me for years now, and talking too much and being annoying is the opposite of what he knows about me. He said the staff there love it when I come in because I am so friendly. Anyway, I am getting off the subject. The thing is, it's hard to get over being called annoying even if NO ONE has ever said that to me before except my father. He said it because I said I would not watch Fox News, but he's away found me annoying because I was not as manly as he thought I should act. So, probably why it hurt so much was because of my father. Anyway, I think this retreat will be a fun way to get out of my head for a bit. Besides, I literally live next to one of the "hippiest, dippiest" colleges in the world. Plus, I live in Vermont which is full of the back to nature, feel good crowd. Anyway, I want to give it a try. it's only for three days and two nights, and I have been wanting to go to this place for years.
you won't know until you go..it could be a dog of a trip or the best time you ever had..as you know, it is always the journey that matters most and not the destination. So, free yourself of doubt and just go!
I checked the website and it's not the sort of thing I'd go to, but the part about taking off your clothes and running around naked sounds like fun. I wish I were free to be socially naked.
First off: GO. Why not.
Secondly: every gay man worries too much about what other gay men think. we shouldn't, but we do. At some point you won't care. It took a long while for that.
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