Thursday, August 5, 2010

Coming Out: Acceptance

As I struggled with my sexuality, I did the only thing I could think to do. I did what I had been taught to do in times of trouble and decision (not that it really was a decision). I prayed and meditated. For months on end (and even years), I had sleepless nights as I prayed and meditated for guidance. Finally, the answer came. From that answer came this poem, the third in the series.


I am who I am, that cannot change.
I do what I do, only I can decide.
I ask for guidance, God guides me.
I pray for a path, that is what I follow.
I hate no one, but I do not love all.
The path tells me who I am;
The path shows me what to do;
The path guides me in the shadows.
The wide path is hatred;
The narrow leads to love.
I pray and the path is cleared.

As I was unpacking after my move to my new house, I found a sort of diary that I wrote several years ago. Inside were three poems that I wrote about my feelings concerning coming out. A commenter on Cocks, Asses, and More the other day said that he would like to hear more about me and my coming out. I responded that I planned on doing that on this blog. When I began writing these blog posts, I was originally going to give an introduction to one of those poems, but it grew more into a personal history of my struggle with my sexuality. Also, I decided to let the words speak for themselves. So these four or five coming out posts will not contain any pictures or images (at least that is the plan at this point).

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