Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
—1 Peter 5:7
The Bible gives us some guidance on making decisions, and God provides profound wisdom for making choices in our life. Remember the advice of scripture to rely on the guidance of God when facing big decisions. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Likewise, Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
When I pray, I often ask God to guide me on the path that He has chosen for me. I think there are times when I should have listened to what God was trying to tell me, but I failed to do so, and it did not turn out well. Other times, I have felt a great certainty in my decisions, and I believe that God is pointing me in the right direction. I can only trust in God that he will not lead me astray and will help guide me in this life so that I may find my true purpose.
On Friday, I mentioned that I was taking a quick trip down and back from Boston. I did so because I had a job interview, but I wonder if this is the right job for me. While I would love to live in Boston, I am not sure I am ready to move. I have a job with responsibilities I really like doing. I have a doctor who, for the first time in my 45 years, I feel comfortable discussing anything with, and I like him. In fact, I don’t dread having to go see him. I trust him to do what is best for my health. Likewise, I have a neurologist who is working with me to provide the best treatment for my migraines. While I know I could find a migraine specialist in Boston, I feel like my doctor was like finding a golden needle in a haystack. I honestly wonder if I could find gold again.
I like my current job a lot, but there have been issues with who I work with and who I work for. Besides that, Vermont may be a very LGBTQ+-friendly state, but there aren’t a lot of gay men. It seems that lesbians and transgender individuals (and more trans women than trans men) are the majority, and for as LGBTQ+ friendly as Vermont is, there are still a lot of closeted gay men. It makes it difficult to find a long-term romantic partner. It's hard to meet men here because there are so few.
The Friday interview was just the first interview in the process. I thought it went really well, but one never knows what the other candidates’ resumes look like. The director I talked to said she would finish the first round of interviews, and then she and her senior staff will look over the resumes together before deciding who to bring back for a second round of interviews. It’s still early in the process. I’m also not sure this really is the job for me, the job I’d want to move away from Vermont for. The pay is not as great as I’d live, but it is more than I am making now. However, Boston is more expensive than Vermont, and I’d need that extra salary. I’m just not sure it’s enough. It would be a step up in my career. I would be going from being a curator to being one of the museum’s directors. Plus, I'd be working at not only one of the most historic places in Boston but in the whole United States, and I'd be doing real historical work on the foundation of American democracy.
I’ve applied for other jobs in or near Boston, and this isn’t the first one that I had an interview for. That first interview was for a job that paid significantly more, and I do think I’d be able to live comfortably in Boston for that salary. However, I have not heard back from them since that first interview. So, while I know I am worrying about something that may not ever become a choice, I don’t want the choice to be given to me without having given it due consideration. Whatever I decide, I know I can trust in the Lord to point me in the right direction.
10 comments:
Joe, I think you should very seriously consider this position if you get called back for subsequent interview. A much bigger pond (Boston) would advance your career even if not your perfect job (no job is perfect), a bigger pond….many more eligible gay men (the equation isn’t likely to change in Vermont). Have faith you will find good new doctors and specialists in Boston, it’s a big city and there will be gay doctors or doctors who are comfortable with gay patients. It sounds like a real opportunity on all fronts if you get offered it. Be optimistic.
Wes
Thanks, Wes. I will keep that in mind. It’s just a wait and see situation at this point.
Hello Joe,
I am leaning toward the possibility of the Boston position.
Yes, I know you are comfortable and set on the medical side of things BUT I am confident with a greater pool to choose from you can establish compassionate care in Boston. Please don't let that hold you back.
If one is spending 40 hours a week, sometimes more, at a job and are not feeling it then it is time to move on. Working in a small office can be derailed by one or two people. And when one tries to remedy the situation and they look at you like you have two heads then it is time to reconsider your place in the environment. I also fault senior leadership for not stepping up and knowing what office dynamics are all about especially in a small one.
I like the idea that you would be furthering your career in being a director. Staying in that role for a few years would give you better, greater options in the future.
All work and no play make Joe very dull, and sad. We have to get you partnered off. You are not getting any younger. Your biological clock is ticking. I believe the homelife is important. If the pickings are slim where you are and this could be the opportunity to widen the net. This is even more to consider moving on.
Yes, you want to be paid what you're worth and yes Boston is more expensive than where you are currently. Do your research. Make sure you are being paid accordingly-education, experience, location... To me, money is important but not the driving factor. You may be able to make up the pay down the road. One could also negotiate items-vacation, sick pay, and educational benefits... in lieu of actual dollars.
I wish you the best as you explore your options. A girl loves options!!
Have a great week!
Best,
Victor
I thought the "meeting" was probably a job interview, and I can guess what the venerable institution is.
There are certainly less expensive places to live than the South End, and although our public transportation has its shortcomings, if you can find a spot along one of its many branches once you've figured out your timing, you can get to work and events without having to drive into the city.
The real question, IMO, is whether the prospective duties are likely give you sufficient job satisfaction to make up for leaving a place and a job you enjoy. There are always good things that must be left behind for the sake of hopefully better things. You're wise to pray for guidance.
VRCooper, you are right about my current job. Every time I think things are getting better, something else happens, and I get the strong feeling that things might be about to get worse because of some changes that are about to happen. I also agree that this job could be a stepping stone for something more down the road. At my current job, there is nowhere to advance. While I believe I would enjoy being the director of a department, I do not want to be the director of the whole museum. It's not that I think I can't do it; I am sure I could. I just don't want to be responsible for budgets or, in the case of my current position, deal with college administrators. Also, I think this job is in line with what is an appropriate salary for this position. It might have a larger salary at a larger institution, but this is a relatively small staff, so this salary is fairly appropriate.
As for my healthcare team, I know I can rely on my current PCP and neurologist to point me in the right direction if I were to move. I am also of the same mind that I need a larger dating pool. And, if I could find a nice husband who has a job, it would make the salary even better. LOL Not that I would marry just for money, but two incomes do make things a bit easier. Vermont just doesn't have a lot to choose from, and as you said, my biological clock is ticking.
For now, I just have to wait and see where this goes and believe that God will point me in the right direction.
I assumed that most people would think that my "meeting" was actually a job interview, naturgesetz. This particular institution is in the North End, and I think it would be a dream for most American historians to work here. If I were to be offered the job, I know that I would not be able to live in Boston, but the city does have pretty good public transportation from all that I know of it. Also, this job would put me in contact with some very respected scholars and members of the museum profession. In a way, I'd be a bit of a social director for the museum working with outside people who desire to work with this museum. I applied for this position because I think I'd be a good fit for the job, and it would be something I would enjoy doing. It's a lot to consider, but I haven't even been offered a second interview yet, let alone the job.
Hi Joe. Liked your post, as usual..I've hesitated to reply to some of your past posts as I am often more conformable in a less public setting when offering personal advice but I have a good feeling about this space since many of the guys responding seem to be regulars and I often appreciate their insights. You have a loyal following who seem to really care for you. Please count me among them. For the past number if weeks I often was concerned that you were more down than usual. It's great you live your job but your workplace seems a bit toxic. You deserve better. I personally love Boston. It is certainly gay friendly and I would see that as a major plus for you. afteeThere are also so many places within an hour and half radius to explore. Though I also love Vermont I do feel the opportunity to use your many talents would increase in eniugh Boston. It just seems to me that you'd be increasing your options. You can always choose Vermont for vacations and years from.now as a place to retire after a rich and successful career. The way I see it, Vermont just can't meet your essential needs. Sorry for going on so long. finak thought: nows the time for change while you're still young enough.
Peace,
JimNS
Thanks for you advice, JimNS. I do think this job and Boston itself would offer more opportunities. As VRCooper said, I'm "not getting any younger." There is no place to advance in my current position. I mean I could try to be director, but I don't think I'd enjoy it, and I don't think I could make this place any less toxic. The times I have been to Boston, I have enjoyed it, and I think it would be a good move, if I can afford it. That is the main worry at this point: will it be too expensive for the salary they are offering? I'll have to do a lot more research on that front, but Vermont, like many places, is getting more expensive by the day.
Joe. Just thought of another plus for Boston. It's much closer to Provincetown than Vermont. 🙂
True, JimNS, and I have never been to Provincetown. The only pace on the Cape I have been is Falmouth, MA. The time I went to Falmouth was for work and that hardly counts as going to the Cape.
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